ed2099 Posted April 1, 2017 Share Posted April 1, 2017 Original post: enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=530999&p=6771896#post6771896[/url] So I broke no contact because curiosity got the better of me. I looked up the guy she left to be with (her 1st real boyfriend she was with two years ago). His Facebook relationship status changed to "In a relationship" but it didn't say with who. Her profile doesn't say anything. Either hers is set to friends only, she hasn't gotten around to fixing it, or hopefully they're not actually together. The not knowing is killing me. After a weird slow breakup (which ironically seemed to come out of nowhere), and 3 (going on 4) weeks of no contact, I'm still a terrible mess. Random bouts of crying etc. Mentally begging someone who isn't listening for her to come back. At this point I still want her back but I can't say if getting her back is the best thing for me as much as I may want it - as happy as I know it would make me. The mixed feelings don't help, but more than anything I just need to know that I mattered. That I wasn't just another guy for her box of memories. I just want to be happy again. If happy is with her, then so be it. I've tried burying myself in my work, focusing on my health at the gym, spending time with friends etc. Nothing really seems to help. The road to happiness is paved with wonderful memories with her, and I'm having trouble navigating it. We never had time for the bad things to happen for me to focus on. I want to let go if only to avoid this hurt and obsession, but I don't know how when I still have hope that she will return. Especially when I'm afraid this hope is the only thing keeping me motivated to focus on myself. I haven't contacted her and I don't plan on it. I'm not friends with her on Facebook and I don't follow her on Instagram. I'm trying to take the right steps but some days are so hard. Do I hold on to this hope that she will realize what she lost? Or do I let her go completely? She said she would like to stay friends in the midst of the break up and I turned her down. I told her I couldn't do it. But maybe that's why I haven't heard from her. Do I contact her? Or keep playing the NC game and pray she realizes? I don't know what's best for me anymore. Thanks for any help you can offer. Link to comment
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