Queen1Victoria Posted February 25, 2017 Share Posted February 25, 2017 i met a cute guy recenly, i had a hard breakups before. in our first date he said that he wasn't able to make efforts to date any new girl after breaking up with his ex 2 years ago. it is hard for me to believe what guys say after what happened to me before, i was honest to him but he said that he will never make me cry, and that he can do his best for us. in our first date he was trying to kiss me in the last hour of our date, i was running away but we kissed. i asked what do you want from me, he answered that it is enough for him to stay close and support me. days after that we had a conversation and he wanted to know about sexual things that happened between me and my exes and i refused to answer. i think he is mad and that i'm rejecting what he is trying to do most of the time. it is hard for me to believe that someone is having feelings for me after the very first date! what do you think about that? is it possible for someone to ask for staying next to me for the whole life even after 1 date? should i give him a chance or should i think that he might be a player? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted February 25, 2017 Share Posted February 25, 2017 I think he has been honest and told you who he is and what his boundaries are. He already told you he is not in a place to be available to date, much less for a relationship. He is available to have sexual conversations with you right away and he does not have appropriate boundaries when it comes to prying into your personal life. You can have feelings for a ladybug the first time you see it - nothing surprising about having feelings. What is surprising is that you want to spend your time with someone who has been honest with you about not being available to date and who has acted in a very pushy way. What are your goals? Is it enough for you that he is cute? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queen1Victoria Posted February 25, 2017 Author Share Posted February 25, 2017 of course not, i just wanted to write as less as i can. he is honest, cute, gentle, he tries to help me as much as he can, it's like i want to believe his words but it's kinda hard to. and to be honest i'm not ready to have a normal relationship anymore, i'm looking for a serious one that could last. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted February 25, 2017 Share Posted February 25, 2017 of course not, i just wanted to write as less as i can. he is honest, cute, gentle, he tries to help me as much as he can, it's like i want to believe his words but it's kinda hard to. Why believe his words -you barely know him. He is honest -very honest about wanting what he wants when he wants it - on a first date, pressuring you to kiss him for example - and I'm not sure why you need a stranger's help -is he someone you want to date or someone you want to depend on as a kind of therapist or parental role? How is it gentle to pressure another person to kiss you? No need to believe just his words -watch the feet- what he does-not the lips -what he says. IMO. And his other words -on a first date that he will "never make you cry?" - ask yourself why he is so negative? Also it's just not true. People who are close sometimes hurt each other - unintentionally or otherwise -and people who are close cry when they are sad about something they think the other person did. Is he human? Are you? Then chances are if you are together a long time you will each upset the other about something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrina Posted February 25, 2017 Share Posted February 25, 2017 When someone puts up a stop sign on the first get together, that should be your last date with them. Whatever your relationship goal is, if the person doesn't match, cut loose. He told you point blank he is unavailable for dating. That means he wants a FWB. There are many cute guys in the world. Find one whose heart is available RIGHT NOW for what you want. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt3939 Posted February 25, 2017 Share Posted February 25, 2017 I'm surprised all that even comes up on a first date. I just talk about random things. Try to get a laugh and see if we can hold a conversation. Nothing to personal. Like others have said you don't know this person. Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted February 25, 2017 Share Posted February 25, 2017 All this drama and all these red flags after one date? Exes, sex chat, moving too fast? Why bother proceeding with this creep? What does this mean: "i was running away but we kissed"? our first date he said that he wasn't able to make efforts to date any new girl after breaking up with his ex our first date he was trying to kiss me in the last hour of our date he wanted to know about sexual things that happened between me and my exes is it possible for someone to ask for staying next to me for the whole life even after 1 date? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
faraday Posted February 25, 2017 Share Posted February 25, 2017 "Is it possible for someone to ask for staying next to me for the whole life even after 1 date?" How well do you know anyone after meeting once or twice? Many marriages fail...and usually people spend a year or two getting to know each other before that...so... It seems like he's saying what he thinks you want to hear so that he can put his penis in you. The minute someone tells you how damaged they are from a prior relationship (or talks about not being ready), you turn around and book it, because all of the other stuff they say after is just to look good. They're saying that the foundation in their house is cracked, and missing floor support...but because they painted and put in granite countertops you're debating buying...not a good plan. You have to look at the whole picture, not just the cosmetics. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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