Me after 2 month break up..

[sourhearts]

I haven't posted for a while. Few weeks maybe, not too long. I've just been keeping to myself. For 2-3 weeks I was feeling pretty good. Getting back on track with ME. The girl I used to be before him.

 

Work, exercise, going out. Even reached out to an old flame, hehe.

 

I think a few remember my story, 3 year relationship. The last year was just awful. He was drinking a lot, caught him having some online romance with some girl which finally led to our break up .. low and behold, he met up with her because she was visiting. She talked trash on her twitter page wanting to run into me, etc.

 

Less than a month into our break up, he sent me a letter saying how he missed me, and does it have to be the end and how he wants to see me even if it's the last time ever. As some remember, I texted him blowing him off. Saying, "What makes you think I want anything to do with you after everything that I know now? You lost me for good. Have a good life with your online girlfriend. Hope it was worth it. Bla bla bla."

 

All he said was, "But you're wrong about it."

 

And that was that. I'm at 26? days of NC. I can't even keep count anymore. It doesn't matter. Point is, I haven't heard from him.

 

I guess the point of this thread..

 

I don't even know. Maybe I just needed to vent. I'm sad. I've been feeling very sad the last few days. I miss him. I can't believe he did this to our relationship. We could've had it all.

 

I keep reminding myself that it hasn't even been 2 full months since our break up. That's nothing. But my God, is it agonizing going through this life alone. Without my partner. Who once would kiss the ground I walked on. I was his everything at one point.

 

I'm not going to reach out .. but and please, call me out if I'm wrong. I was thinking maybe in a few weeks .. giving him that chance he asked for. To see me face to face. So he can see what he lost. I want to stand my ground, say what I need to say and walk away. Even if it's forever.

 

We never really had closure. The break up happened over the phone, a lot of yelling. And then came the letter few weeks after with me telling him to stick it

 

Ugh, I don't know. I pray to God he gives me an answer...

 

Sorry for long read. I needed the vent

[af1995]

Ughhh I hope everything works Out !!! I've never been in that situation but I couldn't imagine

[angrythoughts]

If you see him in person it might cloud your judgment and you might end up getting back with him. I would give it way more time to meet up with him. I don't think you need closure. He wasn't loyal to you and that's all you need to know. What more is there to discuss?

[Wiseman2]

Do not let loneliness or despair or nostalgia suck you back into a mess. Closure is a myth and usually an excuse to attempt a redo.

 

Stay no contact and delete and block him and any associated people. That proves you've moved on well better than having the last word.

 

Do these two statements together even make sense to you? was drinking a lot, caught him having some online romance with some girl.

Who once would kiss the ground I walked on. I was his everything at one point.

[Bob2526]

I agree with angry thoughts. I'm in a similar situation. It's been a little over two months since my relationship of 9 months ended. It's been pretty tough but I can feel myself getting better. She called me last Saturday and we kept it short and just work related. I still feel the urge here and there to text her but I know it will only set me back. There's a possibility that I may see her in a couple weeks at an event but I'm still unsure if I'll be attending because I don't know how I would feel seeing her in around other people. I want to be 100 percent sure I'm am confident and happy before i see her again and whether or not I really want to attempt to be with her again. Mostly just need the time to heal. I know how you feel and I would just suggest to speak with a close friend and family member. Be good to yourself first. This has helped me a lot. You will get better.

[tattoobunnie]

Going back with him shows him that you will put up with the online romance (s), and you're a doormat.

 

There are countless men who would treasure you, and not cheat on you, whether it's emotional or phsyical.

 

You miss the intimacy - it's withdrawal. Break-ups and healing from them are a process. If you have an urge to contact him, come here and write and vent instead. If you can, I'd delete him numbers and emails, and social media handles from your life.

 

You only get the best if you don't accept less.

[luisannalui]

I agree with the others. You don't need closure. You need to move on.

[No1]

I know you were venting, but there is still a lot of confusion. Sometimes you are happy he is gone and other times you are sad he is gone. At times you wonder what it would be like if he came back and other times you are happy you dont have to wonder what he is doing. So Im asking you, do you know what you want?

 

I ask this because the most common answer to your vent is going to be "Move on" or something to that. And perhaps that is the best move for you. However....what if??

 

Now this guy lost out on a great girl no doubt and I doubt that you would ever allow yourself to be a doormat. I dont think taking him back would label you as a doormat. I think if you wanted to, you could forgive him and if you two were meant to be, then it will be. Now, IF he were to come back into your life and want you, it wouldnt be easy. He would have to earn you and perhaps go that extra few miles to show you. He must go beyond what a new guy has to do because you and your X have a history.

 

You are doing great healing and moving on. I dont think you should see him to show what he is missing because that is just a waste of time. If you are going to see him, it would have to be for a purpose. What is it you want?

[sourhearts]

I know you were venting, but there is still a lot of confusion. Sometimes you are happy he is gone and other times you are sad he is gone. At times you wonder what it would be like if he came back and other times you are happy you dont have to wonder what he is doing. So Im asking you, do you know what you want?

 

I ask this because the most common answer to your vent is going to be "Move on" or something to that. And perhaps that is the best move for you. However....what if??

 

Now this guy lost out on a great girl no doubt and I doubt that you would ever allow yourself to be a doormat. I dont think taking him back would label you as a doormat. I think if you wanted to, you could forgive him and if you two were meant to be, then it will be. Now, IF he were to come back into your life and want you, it wouldnt be easy. He would have to earn you and perhaps go that extra few miles to show you. He must go beyond what a new guy has to do because you and your X have a history.

 

You are doing great healing and moving on. I dont think you should see him to show what he is missing because that is just a waste of time. If you are going to see him, it would have to be for a purpose. What is it you want?

 

Reading this. Hit the nail on the head.

 

I AM confused.

 

Last night I was so upset. Crying home from work, etc. Literally pushed myself to goto the gym late at night. And now today .. I feel good. I have this, I don't give an F attitude towards him.

 

What do I want? I want the old us back. But that would only happen in fantasy land. Everything is so damn damaged that even if down the road we did reconcile .. the cracks will still be there. It just wouldn't be the same. So who am I kidding?

 

The more time passes by .. the more I remember the good times. I'm sure he feels the same, but he knows how angry I am.

 

Maybe I feel better today because I vented last night. He's trash. You don't do that to someone you claim to love. F him.

 

I'm not reaching out.

[Wiseman2]

Excellent. Go forward not backward.

F him. I'm not reaching out.

]

[sourhearts]

Thanks Wiseman.

 

While I was writing my post last night, I was hoping you'd reply.

 

I've felt pretty good all day. Maybe it was my venting, my good workout from last night or that yummy iced coffee I had earlier today. I wish every day I felt like this.

 

My emotions are so inconsistent. One day it's like this, and for all I know come tomorrow .. everything just comes crumbling down.

 

What helps is .. reminding myself of the damage he's done. It's on him. He had a choice. He cheated.

[No1]

Then chart your path to your goal and stay with it. I think you were pretty honest when you said that everything is damaged and even if you two got back, the cracks would be there (meaning you cant forgive him)

 

Today was a huge day for you emotionally. You first instinct was to say good bye and you stay with that. Believe me when I say that the hurt does go away.... if you help time with the healing process.

 

You are doing great, you are self aware and in tuned with your feelings. You are on your way to healing and being happy again soon.