heart is stuck

[photograph11]

Hey ena

 

So i have a friend whom ive been friendsfor years. Both in our mid twenties.

 

I have never thought ofher in a romantic way. Until this summer she suddenly kissed me at a bar. I didn't think much of it, just drunkenness.

 

Then we went on a trip. And while we were out she made out with me all night long. Up to the point in bed she made me have an organ.

 

When we came back she made a move on me again and we almost had sex again.

 

Then one night I tried to kiss her and she started saying how she doesn't want to do this every time we see each other, that she's not really into it. I was a bit upsetbut our friendship resumed as usual.

 

We wouldn't have sex but we would sleep together and cuddle like a couple.

 

However I started realising I had feelings for her when she started flirting with aguy friend of mine. I was jealous and hurt and it finally came out how i felt.

 

She doesn't feel the same and wants me to be supportive of her dating guys.What mattered to me is our friendship and we resolved it and added some boundaries such as no more sleeping in the same bed.

 

Our friendship resumed as usual. Although not gonna lie my feelings for her never subsided. Yes I try to look elsewhere for girls but I feel very strongly for her.

 

We are currently on a trip just her and I together. And I realize how strongly I feel for her. We cuddle on the trip but once I layed next to her in bed and she didn't want me to sleep in it claiming we already discussed it.

 

I really love her. We get along extremely well, have the same sense of humour, almost never fight. I know I feel there is no hope but I don't understand how I feel this so strongly and yet she doesn't feel anything. There is nothing I can do.

 

We're having a great time on the trip but I just feel like kissing her all the time. I haven't said anything to her because I know there is no point. I know I will hear the "don't fall for straight girls" but with her she's the one who initiated the whole sexual adventure we had. I have a hard time believing there is nothing there for her at all.

 

I feel that if I take some distance maybe she would miss me and realize that there is more between us. But I don't want to because she's my closest friend. But it has become torture at times because I feel my heart breaking whenever she talks about guys and if she were to get together with someone it would tear me apart.

 

I wish I would not have these feelings for her.

 

Sorry I just needed to vent.

 

 

 

Last edited at 5:59 PM

 

Toda

[gebaird]

Sorry, man. I think you're right that she isn't gonna come around. It has to be hard to want her so much and not have it be reciprocated.

 

You could back off for a bit, but I don't think it will change her mind. It might help you figure out what you want, though.