Herpes

[yatsue]

My husband took him to work one day and as they were working he got several phone calls from girls. My husband told our family member but her bf denied it and she belived him. We knew him and his family before they got together and he was always on drugs and sleepung with random girls. He has never had an out break in the 15 months theve been together. I tryed to explain to her that an outbreak happens 2 to 14 days after you have had contacted the virus. She seems to find every excuse for him. We just want whats best for her. I am being supportive and telling her that i will be here for her no matter what but he is no good for her.

 

I am a microbiologist and your niece contracting herpes from him proves no indication that he cheated, especially with his track record previously before meeting her. I bet all my money he has had herpes type 2 for a long while if he was sleeping with random girls way before:

 

"Herpes sores usually appear as one or more blisters on or around the genitals, rectum or mouth. The blisters break and leave painful sores that may take weeks to heal. These symptoms are sometimes called “having an outbreak.” The first time someone has an outbreak they may also have flu-like symptoms such as fever, body aches, or swollen glands.

 

Repeat outbreaks of genital herpes are common, especially during the first year after infection. Repeat outbreaks are usually shorter and less severe than the first outbreak. Although the infection stays in the body for the rest of your life, the number of outbreaks tends to decrease over a period of years." (CDC)

 

The guy could definitely have had a long period of an inactive phase of the herpes virus, then they had sex when it became active a year later, or more from his last active phase. Condoms also decrease the risk of exposure, if that's part of what they practice. The only way to link an STD to infidelity, is if both parties were virgins when entering into a monogamous relationship and then one contracted an STD. One other, more difficult and expensive way, is to have multiple panels of STD testing regularly. This takes into account false negatives/positives, while making sure to expand beyond the common strains of each virus, and diversifying the panel encompassing all possible STD tests. When you get an STD panel performed, Herpes testing is always omitted unless specifically asked in my country. Everyone seems to think that they are covered when they get one STD panel performed about once a year, but this is a public health misconception. It is not feasible to test for every STD out there, but the general public seems to think so. A standard panel comprises of the most common viruses contracted in your area, which are based on the most common strain of the viruses. There are so many strains and STD viruses out there that it would scare most people to think about, which is a reason why public health officials do not always offer such information in order to isolate panic among the population. Performing a basic panel does lessen the chances of contracting the common viruses by making informed decisions, don't get me wrong, but to use it as an all-encompassing foolproof indicator is just not it's legitimate purpose.

 

Besides considering the facts, I do believe you are meddling way too far into your niece's life. It would be best for her if you were a lending ear, rather than someone she views as trying to break her and her boyfriend up. It seems she doesn't care that he has cheated or is cheating anyway. She needs to learn her breaking point, unfortunately. I understand your concern, however she needs to come to her own resolutions as it's her life.

[catfeeder]

He may have had it for years before meeting her.

 

This is true. The key words are 'may have,' or 'could have'. More key words: quit gossiping and mind your own business. You will thank yourself later.