AdviseSeeker77 Posted February 13, 2017 Share Posted February 13, 2017 Ok, so I'm going to lay it out there and see what you guys think. I've been with the same women for 19 years now. We have a child that's 17. I'm 38 and she's 40, so we met very young. We aren't married, more on that to come. She is disabled and draws SS due to her father passing at a young age. This is the main reason we aren't married, because she has this income with great health insurance. I make good money and support the family on my own. She pays for her car out of her money and buys food sometimes, but I pay all the household bills. Her disability. She has limited use out of her left arm, and her left leg is shorter then her right. The doctors think she has some sort of stroke or spinal collapse issue when she was about 7 years old. I've loved her with all my heart since the beginning of our relationship. Over the years she's had several issues, broken hip surgery, hysterectomy, and multiple health issues. She walks with a limp, hasn't ever been able to work, arthritis kills her. She has been on narcotics for years as well as nerve pills, rightfully so. She always made do, but she's never been happy with her looks and people staring at her. This is just some background to maybe understand things now. She has never lived on her own, she went from living with her mother to me when we had been together for a couple of years. About 3 years ago I started snoring, which kept her up. She had insomnia as well so I started sleeping on the couch. 3 years ago. I just now say that and start realizing how crazy that sounds but I love her. Our sex life has always been ok, usually once a week or every other week during worse health times. Now to recently. About a year ago, she started taking Xeljanz for her RA. This drug turned out to be a miracle for her. She's about 4'6" and was about 120, she dropped down to around 95. She started really taking care of herself, hair, nails, tanning daily, the whole 9. She has always been beautiful to me, but now she's became a knockout. She still has her disability that bothers her, but she's stunning. Well, about 3 months ago she got heavy into Facebook. I didn't think much about it when it started. We've both used FB for years, just here and there kinda to say high to family and people that we know. So around two months ago I started noticing things really change. She stopped doing anything around the house, just lives on FB. No pictures or real mention of me at all. She would go into the bedroom and shut the door. I could see the little green light on Facebook next to her name so I knew she was always on. I thought ok, just give her space. 2 months ago. She starts taking pictures of herself. I mean lingerie shots. She tells me that its for her own self to see years from now. ? She's starting to get attention from guys. Almost everyday she bragged about some guy flirting or hitting on her. Her self esteem is growing. Keep in mind she's NEVER had this happen due to her disability, but now she's really taking care of herself and it shows. The XJ is allowing her to function like a normal women for the first time in her life really. No pain for once. Our sex life is started to explode. She wants to do things she's never tried, and it's at worst every other day, sometimes everyday, sometimes twice a day. As you can imagine it starts getting to me, the whole FB and picture thing, but I let her have her space. 4 weeks ago, things started to really spiral downhill. On a Saturday morning around noon she sits down on the couch with me and says she's leaving. She and my daughter are going to live with her sister. She says she's not happy and hasn't been for years. Of course I go all to hell, I keep a straight face and break down as she's leaving. She has no remorse at all it seems. Well, about 8 that evening I get a text that she doesn't like it there and wants to come home. Of course I tell her to come on, this is still your home. The next day we have sex and it's almost as if nothing happened. After coming back we talked a couple of days later. She says that she wants to move out, but not with her sister. I say ok. She says that she just needs some time, and after figuring herself out come back the right way. Keep in mind she gets 1K monthly and that's it, no job or any other supplemental income besides me. She's never paid any household bills, that money is essentially for her car and what she spends on her hair, clothes, etc. So up until last Thursday, we're in this grey zone. We're not really together, but obviously not apart either, she's still living at home. The FB thing is getting worse, and now I'm on full alert. I see messages pop up in FB messenger saying stuff like Hey baby!. Also, she's friended all these body builders from different countries in different facebook groups for women's entertainment. I can see her likes and posts to these guys photos cause she still hasn't hid stuff on FB. We're still having sex, but now we're arguing over the FB things and late night chats with guys. Thursday. She has started going to the gym last week. She leaves for the gym and I get her Ipad. Her previous three or four conversations are all on there. The first one I open is sexually explicit. I don't mean basic kissy stuff, I mean full on Penthouse forum stuff. My BP is going up, but hey, I knew that was going on. She'd get horny and call me into the bedroom, figured she was doing something like that. Second conversation I open (these are all different guys), she not only has the explicit stuff, but a full blown masturbation video of herself in it. Face and all. Under her real name. Now I'm losing it, but keep going. The last conversation with a guy in London (we are US), she has done all the above and talking about me. Giving details about our sex life and how she fantasizes about him while me and her are having sex. So I text her its over for good, I want her out in two weeks. This is as she's getting to the gym. She texts back, "What do you want me to say, we're not together". Sigh..... So Thursday and Friday are really bad, when I speak I scream, cry, can't look at her. Saturday was better, we talked and agreed that if she continues with the guys, it's while I'm not there. We have sex. I tell her I'm sleeping in the bed, no more couch. Things go well, she's not talking to the guys that day. Her head seems normal, she's crying and saying she loves me but that I'm stressing her out. We have a great night in bed. Sunday is kinda the same, seems kinda normal. She goes to gym and I look at IPad. She's deleted most things but I still see the main guy on there and there previous conversation. She tells him that me and her are done and she's pretty much biding her time to get out. When she gets home she's not on FB hardly at all, things seem normal. It's almost like she thinks she has this relationship with this model guy but she knows she'll never meet him. He has like 10k followers. I could see if she was chatting with a local but these are guys across the world. Here I am. She's having a SS meeting for Ticket to Work to get a job, and still kinda in limbo about what to do. I told her to move in with her sister for a month or two and then figure out how she feels. I told her I'd wait for her, but if she comes back to come back the right way, no FB chats. So kinda in this limbo right now. She wants her own place but can't afford it. I know it's the medication causing this, but without it she can't hardly function. It's almost like she's just getting a taste of life and is cutting loose. I've thought about maybe just letting it continue online cause hell, she hasn't physically cheated and it's almost like her foreplay now. But I know in my heart eventually she'll start doing this with a local, and that will turn into an actual meeting. So what do I do???? I love her too much to just say go, but it's killing me right now that way it is. She seems to still love me, but want's to taste life on her own. Link to comment
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