Fell for my housemate continued... 5 days to go.. Encouragement needed

[Keyman]

I have previously posted a thread here:

 

Here’s a recap:

 

I fell for my housemate, hard. Knew as I was falling that it was never going to be. I told her, she was kinda cold about it. I spoke to her again the following week, and got an equally cold response. I shrunk away to my room for most of January, suffering greatly, trying to stop the feelings, but was difficult as her room is across the hall and walls are thin.

 

I didn’t intend for it to happen, but it did. She’s actually a perfect fit for me in so many ways, but she just isn’t interested. She’s ‘dead inside’ as she put it. I think she loves someone else, long distance, they skype from time to time and call etc. She keeps to herself and doesn’t talk about it.

 

So, I just had to last another 6 weeks. I also keep to myself, don’t really speak to her etc. She does know what I’m going through.

 

My other female housemate has been helping me, telling me she might still be. I have been determined to leave, but this other housemate convinces me to stay, ‘I won’t get her if I run away’.

 

Well today, it finally came to a head with the girl and she is definitely not interested. So I am leaving this coming weekend. But that is still five more nights to go.

 

So, I’m looking for some positive encouragement to keep going through these last days before I can rid myself of this hell.

 

Please any encouragement would be great…

[gebaird]

I'm sorry this has been so hard for you. Rejection always hurts, but in 5 days you get to make a new start! Won't it be nice to finally be able to move on from all of this?

 

I'm sure your self-esteem is on the floor, but you are not defined by what others think of you. Her lack of interest and coldness are HER issues, not yours.

[Wiseman2]

It sounds like the other roommate may have the hots for you and is doing the "hand-holding" thing to get closer to you. Maybe you've been blinded to that?

My other female housemate has been helping me, telling me she might still be. I have been determined to leave, but this other housemate convinces me to stay

[Keyman]

 

I'm sure your self-esteem is on the floor, but you are not defined by what others think of you. Her lack of interest and coldness are HER issues, not yours.

 

Thanks. My self esteem is returning again although it fell pretty low. She does have her own issues and I've given her time to look into it but she likes to hide behind a cloud of weed instead of dealing with the issues. As you say, her loss not mine.

[Keyman]

It sounds like the other roommate may have the hots for you and is doing the "hand-holding" thing to get closer to you. Maybe you've been blinded to that?

It sounds like the other roommate may have the hots for you and is doing the "hand-holding" thing to get closer to you. Maybe you've been blinded to that?

no I am aware of that. I do find it so easy to talk to her but she has an on again off again boyfriend I'm not sure she really wants to be with. The irony is she is taking the other out to convince her but it won't happen. None know I'm leaving. But I plan to give her my number before I leave. I have feelings for her too just not as overwhelming as for the other.

[Wiseman2]

Good plan. Maybe what you were looking for will become clearer in hindsight.

I plan to give her my number before I leave. I have feelings for her too just not as overwhelming as for the other.

[abitbroken]

I think in the future, your best course of action is to only have male housemates. You clearly can't handle having female housemates at all. Get an apartment by yourself, with one or two other guys, etc, but no more co-ed housing. You are going to crush on women, so you have proven, due to proximity. Maybe you are interested in your housemate only because she is leaving. Who knows. Also, make an effort to meet women outside of your house

[Keyman]

I've lived in houses with many women and this is the first time something like this has happened. My feelings for the other housemate are nothing beyond my normal like for someone. She's helped me and I'm grateful. I have transferred some of my thoughts to her and away from the other and it is helping. I doubt it will happen again should I move into a house with other women.