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Bf confessed he thinks about other girls in a sexual way but says all guys do?

girlsandguys

By girlsandguys
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Matt3939 Enthusiast

Matt3939

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I'd be most concerned about the I stay with you cause the sex is great. Sounds like a lot revolves around sex. There's a huge difference between playing a game and reality. I'm sure this goes for both men and woman. Both genders can look at a person and decide if they would have sex with them based only on how they look. In reality there are a lot more factors besides attractiveness. Sounds like he's throwing a lot of his thoughts in your face. What if things were switches around and you were checking out guys? Making stupid comments about the size of there genitalia. I'm sure he wouldn't find it that great of a subject.

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girlsandguys Newbie

girlsandguys

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So...you have told him that you want to kiss/have sex with another girl because you are bi and you want that experience it BUT you are so upset that he has talked about other women. heck, he's giving you a taste of your own medicine. Seriously, if you want to have sex with a woman and think that its "okay" because you are telling your boyfriend you would never cheat because you don't want another man - but somehow wanting another woman is not cheating because you are bi - then your thinking is extremely flawed and you should not be in a relationship with a man - you should go sow your oats like you want to with a woman if that is what you want. Dump your boyfriend. Go sleep with women. You can't have it both ways.

 

Well, your boyfriend is giving you a chance to have it both ways - to have him AND a woman and now you are upset about that. it could be that your boyfriend does not actually intend to go with a threesome but is basically trying to make you feel exactly how he has felt with you talking to him about how you want to experience a woman and how its not cheating if its a woman.

 

So either you are committed to your boyfriend and get the nonsense thinking out of your head about having sex with a woman, or you break up with him and do what you want - but you don't get to keep your boyfriend and do what you want.

 

 

well he asked me what i want to do with a woman because he thinks its hot. i didnt go to him and begged him to please let me have sex with someone else. and actually i am not THAT bisexual...i wouldnt want to have full on sex ever with a woman. i really just want to kiss a girl or maybe feel what other boobs feel like. and i am OKAY if he doesnt let me experience that. he doesnt need to walk around the street checking everyone out. i checked a guy out ONCE because he always does it and he got super MAD!!!

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abitbroken Grand Master

abitbroken

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i dont understand why he thinks its okay to think about other girls in a way that i would never think about a guy

 

But you think about GIRLS in "that way." You think you thinking about and expressing the desire to have sex with a woman is okay, but for him its not. I am sick of the whole concept of "we are in a straight monogamous relationship but its okay for the person who is bi to go outside the relationship as long as its not with someone of the gender of their partner". Do you not get it?? YOU saying that you would like to experience sex with a woman is IDENTICAL to him saying the same thing. Please accept that. How would you feel if he said "honey, you know i am bi and i am really wanting to experience sex with a guy because i never have." Would you say "oh, as long as its not a woman, have sex with who you want?""

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abitbroken Grand Master

abitbroken

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Because you told him you want threesomes. Stop playing the "I'm so cool and bi and kiss women and want threesomes" card if you can't even handle that he looks at other girls.

 

Yup. If you are kissing girls while in a relationship with him, you are cheating. He is basically saying with a threesome that two can play at that game. Maybe you need to end this relationship and mature a bit to know what being in a one one one relationship is. One on one is one on one. Not one on one, but "hey, i'm bi, its in my nature to kiss girls". So...what if you were in a relationship with a woman - would you sleep with a guy and expect to come home to her and she would be cool with it??

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girlsandguys Newbie

girlsandguys

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Because you told him you want threesomes. Stop playing the "I'm so cool and bi and kiss women and want threesomes" card if you can't even handle that he looks at other girls.

 

 

Because he made a threesome seem so harmless. He said that the girl doesnt even need to be attractive that we do the threesome with and he doesnt even need to enter her. He just thinks its hot if i give him oral sex with her and that he sees two girls kissing and he said its just hot to him to see his gorgeous girlfriend with another woman and he wants to share this with me. The whole thing seeemed nice to me at first but now he just seems like a pig how much he looks at others. The past year he always checked out girl with me BUT only a few. Now its like every girl almost thats somewhat pretty. I dont know what changed. And the fact that he even thinks about his female friends in a naked way makes me so uncomfortable. But what you are saying is that i should just let him do whtever? Also i would have been okay with a threesome 8 months ago when i didnt have much feelings for him. By now i love him so much that my views just changed. I never tried to be cool or faked my personality.

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abitbroken Grand Master

abitbroken

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. The whole thing seeemed nice to me at first but now he just seems like a pig how much he looks at others. The past year he always checked out girl with me BUT only a few.

 

You are a pig too if you are checking girls out and expressing your desire to kiss them while you are out with your boyfriend. it goes both ways.

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abitbroken Grand Master

abitbroken

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and i always thought guys think its hot when two girls make out. i have a female friend who is also bi and she has a boyfriend who allows her to kiss other girls. AGAIN, i dont need to kiss a girl and i happy with my boyfriend. i really just wanted to know if all guys think like him.

 

Did you tell your boyfriend up front that you wanted to experience sex with a woman because your friend's boyfriend is hot on the idea of her kissing other girls?

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Krankor Rising Star

Krankor

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and actually i am not THAT bisexual...i wouldnt want to have full on sex ever with a woman. i really just want to kiss a girl or maybe feel what other boobs feel like.

 

So you're more the Katy Perry "I kissed a girl" type than the Melissa Etheridge "Come to my Window" type. (Sorry, dated reference, I'm old.)

 

Look, if you want to keep trying to make it work with your boyfriend, I think you need to establish some boundaries and have this talk:

 

"We aren't having a threesome. Ever. I'm sorry I ever brought it up. At one point I thought I may be into it but my feelings for you are too strong at this point to imagine you doing anything with another girl. Again, no threesomes ever while you're with me. The subject is boring now.

 

I am sorry I ever brought up the bisexual thing. I really just wonder what it would be like to kiss another girl. But I won't while I'm with you because I want to be faithful to you.

 

I know guys check out other girls but please don't blatantly do it or make comments in front of me. I don't like it and feel it's disrespectful.

 

I want to be with you and I just want us to be normal, monogamous, boyfriend and girlfriend."

 

You've let a lot of things muddy the waters of your relationship. Time to clear the water and see how your boyfriend does with that.

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