Firsttimedad86 Posted February 6, 2017 Share Posted February 6, 2017 My girl and I started dating about a year ago. I lied to her from the start about some serious things. Not being myself and trying to impress her. I am ten years older then her. After 3 months of us dating she became pregnant. We were planning the pregnancy. She would ask me to marry her way before the pregnancy. I was all for it. I started to really like her around month two. She would pressure me for a ring. I made it seem like I was financially ok and could afford it. I fell deeply in love with her after we found out she was pregnant. As time went by the lies I told in the beginning started to surface. I kept lying to cover up the first lies. She broke up with me for lying. I kept blowing up her phone and begging her to come back. Text after text. She eventually blocked me. About a month later we got back together. I promised things would be different this time. I came clean about every lie, except for one. My name. She wanted to name our son after me. We had agreed on it earlier. My name is tony I told her it was Antonio. Things were going so great again I was so happy to be back with her and enjoy our pregnancy together. I just didn't know how to confess about my name. I planned on it but just didn't have the heart. We were planning to get married have more kids and everything. Then things started getting bad. I lost my job, my place in the same week. Then she found out about my name. She broke up with me again and said she can't trust me. I've given her every reason not to. I once again begged and text back to back.... she blocked me. Our son is due in two weeks! I love this girl so much, never cheated never put her in danger or anything. I did everything she ever asked of me. I lost my job because I was constantly late because I'd stay up on the phone with her because she couldn't sleep. First time pregnancy and she was in pain. So I tried to be some comfort to her. It worked at times and she would sleep other times I'd be up till 4 and had to be at work by 6. I have lied to her so much and the more in love I fell, the more I wanted to tell her the truth about everything. I was afraid of loosing her. I love her with everything in me. I would give my life for her and for our son. I was selfish stupid and childish. I want her back so bad so we can be a family. I know she loves me or at least she did anyway until I screwed up. Lying isn't worth this pain. And I just wish I was real from the start. She says I can come in the delivery room and see my son born. I'm afraid I have lost her for good. I will do anything to get her back to fix my wrongs to treat her like the queen she is. I don't want to loos her over stupidity. And I'm willing to change anything I have to and EARN her trust! I've been miserable thinking about the what ifs. I found another job making more money then I was before and I'm working on a new place to stay. Someone please help me. I want us to be a family and raise our son together, we both love the lord and are Christian's. Im nervous about being a father but I know I'm ready. I will be the best dad I can, unlike my father I will never leave him. I love them so much and I messed up so much and I pray it's not too late,? Link to comment
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