tsnell Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 I met him online four years ago and he told me right away that he just wants fwb, so I agreed to it. I met him in person after a 2weeks of talking on the phone and hung out with him at his house three days later and we didn't have sex. He called me more than once through out the day and night just to talk. We talked about a lot of things including sex. I had sex with him a week later at his house and he called me to make sure I made it home safe. Through out a two month span I had lots of sex with him and he called me numerous times to talk after that. I caught feelings for him because I never had a man give me that much time and attention. I never told him I had feelings for him, but I'm sure he knew. He called me one night and told me about his new girlfriend and I got jealous, mad, and confused at the same time. I always believed that if a man gives you that much attention he likes you more than a friend. I haven't had sex with him in two years and he still calls to talk to me on the phone. Sometimes I don't want to answer his calls but being I don't have many friends I answer. This might all sound confusing and hard to answer, but should I keep conversating with him or no? Btw I still have feelings for him Link to comment
Matt3939 Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 You got feelings for him. If you want to get over him you should go NC. Link to comment
SherrySher Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 If you want something more substantial and want a man to actually have feelings for you, don't get into bed with his asap like that. If you want to be a girlfriend or more, get to know a man, have a connection with him that has nothing to do with sex. Have him respect you as a woman who doesn't just sleep around. This man sounds like he likes to talk to you once in a while but he does not see you as a girlfriend and he used you for sex. That dynamic is not going to change. Should you keep conversing with him? If you want pain. He is always going to choose some other woman to take seriously as a girlfriend and you will once again be left on the shelf. Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 NC = No contact It sounds like this man isn't offering as much as you would like from him. I think you should forget him and focus on meeting other friends and men to date. Link to comment
ParisPaulette Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 Men who want something more from you won't continue to just sleep with you, tell you they only want FWB from you, then go out and get a girlfriend regardless of how much attention they pay to you. He was single, if he wanted more from you he would have made you his girlfriend, not this other woman. Who poor girl, has this guy probably going behind her back. He stays in touch with you, because he wants you to be his side piece and he needs an audience. Just because they want you in the harem does not mean they love you or that they are going to ever give you first woman status. He gave that to another woman AFTER he'd been with you, remember? You need to stop being confused. If you want to continue to play second fiddle then stay in contact, but otherwise it's up to you to tell him he chose someone else and he needs to understand that means what you two once had is over. Then you bock and delete him and you heal and then you go out and date other guys and you don't agree to sex until they want more than just that from you. This guy doesn't. Maybe he doesn't have many friends either, and that's why he calls you, but it's not fair to you or to his girlfriend. He sounds like a nightmare and very selfish and self-centered. ANd that's the behavior you're rewarding by staying in touch with him. Link to comment
Almira23 Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 I understand that you may feel lonely because you don't have many friends. He may provide you with some comfort and human contact, but it is only temporary. He calls because it is convenient. He knows no matter how much time passes or what occurs, you will answer his phone call. You have become too available. I know that the temporary affection makes you feel good for the few hours that you are together, but I don't think it is worth it because later, you feel hurt and confused. I would block his phone number and block him from all social media. Let him know that you no longer want to continue the relationship. This man is not your friend. He does not provide you with any emotional support. He is just a booty call. If you are considered about having friends, join some clubs, start classes at a school, or pick up a new hobby. Link to comment
tsnell Posted January 31, 2017 Author Share Posted January 31, 2017 Yes he does provide human contact and makes me feel like I have a friend. I work and have an autistic son. Plus I'm shy and scary so I don't talk to many people. I really don't want to loose him as a contact but at the same time I don't like feeling this way. Link to comment
greta96 Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 Yes he does provide human contact and makes me feel like I have a friend. I work and have an autistic son. Plus I'm shy and scary so I don't talk to many people. I really don't want to loose him as a contact but at the same time I don't like feeling this way. When you like someone this much, it is impossible not to feel bad every time you are reminded that you are not their first choice. The fact that you are lonely also weighs heavily on your reluctance to cut ties with him. Realistically the only way to get over him is to stay absolutely no contact with him, but this is easier said than done. The temptation to talk to him is too strong, and I get that. So since you are unable to do the best thing you can do for yourself, then try doing the next best thing - make peace with the fact that he will never see you as his #1 and enjoy your interactions with him for what they are. But really, this kind of situations are bound to be hurtful no matter what you do and there is no easy answer for you. Probably what will happen is that in time he will eventually meet someone he really falls in love with and marries, and then your interaction will fade naturally... which sucks too, but at least you will eventually bounce back. I really wish I had a more encouraging answer for you, because I myself am going through something similar and I wish there was an easy fix, but right now I don't see it. Link to comment
tsnell Posted February 1, 2017 Author Share Posted February 1, 2017 Thanks everyone for your help. Even though it going to be hard to go no contact I'm going to. The main reason is because if I do spend time with him again it will most likely start the fwb relationship and I don't want that. I like how it used to be and I know it will never be the same. Plus I'm tired of hearing about him getting a new girlfriend. Link to comment
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