What to do

[JoyceVib]

Hi! So I came here to ask for advice. Or stories of people who have been through the same thing I'm going through. It isn't a small thing and I really really really hope people will understand the issue, because it seems to get worse and worse and I don't know how to be happy again.. so here it goes: I'm a young woman (23) who tries to get everything out of life. I met/meet a lot of people, kept a lot of friends, met people all over the world because I love to travel (also by myself). Actually at this moment I'm also in another country by myself. I used to have depressive thoughts, until I met my ex boyfriend three years ago. Even before that I really enjoyed doing things tho, which made me happy. It has been half a year now since me and him broke up (we lived together for two years) and I changed a lot. He was the only person I dared to trust, and he broke that trust. I still miss him often tho, because he made me feel like the woman I really am inside. I was 100% myself with him. since then things started to get worse. First I hoped it would get better soon, after I was healing from the break up. It didn't, it's just getting worse and worse, I don't even know how. At first I could still enjoy things, but had my sad moments. It helped me to get into nature or to meet other people. Lately I'm not able to sleep. My thoughts are killing me at night. During daytime I'm at work, where I'm not being the old me. I'm a quiet little mouse, with a high voice when I say something (don't know when this happened). They even told me at work that I was weird (terrible woman tho). I feel awful there. But I also feel weird around new people I meet, I'm so concious about everything. I can't even joke anymore, overanalyzing everything. I'm in my last year of my study and I will have to move from this house I live in within a month, to live on my own again in the city where I work at. I have no friends that live here and am scared to be completely by myself here. Since the break up I feel more and more like an alien. I feel weird, ugly, unhappy. I can't date other guys anymore. I used to get a lot of attention but since I changed I don't. I loved my ex, and I notice I don't believe in love anymore now. Other people I loved also left me for other girls. It just doesn't seem to matter, everyone is so replacable. I think a lot about life, and I can't really find the reason to live anymore. Nothing makes me happy or excited like it used to. I was in the most amazing place today, just beautiful, and I only felt sad. I think so much about life, and the truth, which is the truth tho, that it all doesn't matter that I can't enjoy things anymore. Even my friends act different towards me because I don't know what to say anymore and I'm super awkward. I know this sounds so depressing.. I'm just scared I will always feel like this. And scared that my thoughts are right. I used to be this happy little girl who got everything out of life.. and I miss her. I know I'm depressed, quite obvious.. it's just that I don't understand why, since I really am living my life. So afraid I'll always stay like this. I try so hard to think positive and act positive, but nothing helps.

 

P.s: I do try to get rest as well and read like a book or get a bath, but then I start to think again. Talking to people I love (mother, best friend) or a psychiatrist also doesn't help.

[artsygirl]

So I haven't been diagnosed with depression so I feel as if what I say couldn't maybe be as credible as someone who has experienced it first hand, however I can relate to this feeling of emptiness after a break up/altercation with somebody you care about. I don't think it's weird that you feel that way, sometimes things can really upset us no matter how big or small the problem may be and then we just don't know why. The woman at work shouldn't be saying you're weird, that's not professional in the workplace and if you feel it necessary, if you're feeling this way and it offended you, then you have the right to approach someone in authority or even the woman herself and tell her you're feeling upset at the moment and her words didn't help.

It may sound cliche but don't give up on love. Many people have experienced that time when they really can't be bothered with men/women and think this and it's natural. Being upset 6 months following the breakup/move out is also not a long time to be feeling upset after the breakdown of a relationship- a lady I work with said she wasn't able to get over someone she loved for 7 years until she met a man who she is happily married to to this day (please don't think you'll be dwelling on this for 7 years though, it takes different people different times to get over things and it's totally normal). The men in your life who have left you for other women are not men worth worrying about, and I know that's easier said than done, but there will honestly come a day when you'll think of that person and you'll wonder why they've even cropped up in your mind. They've hurt you and I assure you there is someone out there who would do anything to spend everyday by your side.

My reply is somewhat short and I may not be the best advice-giver but I know that you'll get through this and I wish you every best wish as you move forwards. There are people out here who will listen and read what you have to say and I hope that this has been somewhat helpful

[briankin]

Please dont give up on youself, I went through 3 years of not having any friends and loosing the only only person I cared about. There are good people out there who will show kindness and appreciation for the person you are.

 

You mention about staying and acting positive, I can tell you from experience going through masssive depresion the only thing that saved me was changing thinking process to believe in youself and staying positive and its along process to change your mentality. You might loose frends and family in the process but to better youself its worth letting go of those people to built you to the person you will become.

 

I wish you all the est in your struggles and hope you can find someone who truley loves you for you