esboogie143 Posted March 27, 2005 Share Posted March 27, 2005 Yeah its me. Im back and im having soo much anxiety right now. For those of u who are not aware of my situation u can read my latest posts, I have the urge to contact him. BUT I KNOW...I WONT!!! I dialed his number but thank god it didnt ring and went straight to voicemail. I cant take it anymore...im desperate for some advise. Im trying to keep my hands off the phone!! Though I know that at this point there would be absolutely no reason to call him b/c he doesn't want to get back together but as u recall said "I wii miss u" im still sooo angry by that. Anyway...can someone please help me right now in going insane!!!!!!! Link to comment
Mun Posted March 27, 2005 Share Posted March 27, 2005 The number one reason you shouldn't call : You are going to feel lousy that you have set yourself back about 20 steps . Don't do it ! I know how hard it is believe me. Call a friend, call your mom... write in your journal/diary/blog...anything but don't call him. When I was where you are the only thing that kept me sane was telling myself that I would lose some of my control if I gave in and started calling. I had to show myself that I was in control of myself.. he didn't control me !! Repeat after me.. He does not have control here, I do! Link to comment
HeavenLee Posted March 27, 2005 Share Posted March 27, 2005 Hey esboogie. I just posted on your other thread. As I said, there are going to be plenty of times when you just want to call, where you would probably give a limb freely if it meant you got to hear his voice. But you know that it's only going to hurt you more, don't you? There is nothing he can say that won't hurt, shatter, confuse, anger and generally mess you around further. It's all been done. And still, nothing has changed. Everytime you get the urge to call, remember that you are knowingly only setting yourself up for more hurt... and then find something... ANYTHING... to do so that it takes your mind off calling. Stay as busy as you can. You don't need to speak to him. It's all been said and he is not changing his mind, so your call will NOT accomplish anything other than to set you back again and make you feel worse . Why do that to yourself? Try to ride out the feelings of anxiety when you want to call and remember that it is a fruitless task. Think of the small progresses you have made and how you don't want to mess it up... because you can really be on your way to healing if you allow yourself to. You are now externally trying to cut the ties by doing no contact, but it's time to let him go from the inside. It's over. You may still love him, but you aren't going to be together... so let go of the hold you have on him and the relationship. It's all about you only now. You keep being strong esboogie. Don't call him again... don't even try. Let go of your anger... it is only tying you to him. Don't hate him for the decisions that he made, don't hate him because he didn't know better than to handle it so poorly... I'm sure he can't help it that he's clueless. But you know better, you are better, and you deserve better. Link to comment
esboogie143 Posted March 27, 2005 Author Share Posted March 27, 2005 Though everyone has been very supportive in this forum but you two have been outstanding to me!!!! You guys always come through for me...its like you both actually look to c if i have posted!!! Im so happy that I have people like u to support me!! Thanks again!!! Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 27, 2005 Share Posted March 27, 2005 Hey honey - It's ok - keep posting. Better to come here instead of calling him! Just remember, everyday is another day closer to you being over him. Do you have some fun movies you can watch? I've spent all day "spring cleaning." Do you have something that needs cleaning??? I know it's strange, but it helps me feel more calm, busting dirt and clutter! Go rent some fun DVDs, paint your nails, and when you go to sleep, it will be tomorrow and it will be a day closer to being over him. Chin up!!! Link to comment
HeavenLee Posted March 27, 2005 Share Posted March 27, 2005 Yes I do always look to see if you have posted esboogie. I am determined to see you through this. I want to see you come out of this on top and a much better person. And I have no doubt that you will, but you have to believe what we are all trying to tell you. We can support, but you have to make the changes yourself. Of course we will be here to hold your hand when you need it, and I will never stop telling you that you deserve so much better until I am convinced that you believe it too. Unfortunately, any words of wisdom that I, and many others share with you, come from having been right where you are now. And learnt the hard way. Many have made it through these tough times, and we're here to see that you do too... Link to comment
Mun Posted March 27, 2005 Share Posted March 27, 2005 I spent the afternoon painting my kitchen I bet if you look around there are a number of things you could devote some time and attention to. Heavenlee is right. Many of us have been where you are ... I'm debating whether to post my story on here.. it's long and sordid-- but a happy ending for me. Hang in there girl, if anyone knows that it get's better.. that's me Imagine how good you will feel when you realize you have made it out the other end of the tunnel and you did it with the strength you thought you didn't have. Chin up--hang in there! Link to comment
esboogie143 Posted March 27, 2005 Author Share Posted March 27, 2005 Thanks guys....i really appreciate it! And I must say that I cleaned my whole house...lololol my house is immaculate!! So there goes that! hahah But anyway...i will keep u guys updated! Thank You all! Link to comment
Jaela Posted March 27, 2005 Share Posted March 27, 2005 Hang in there Esboogie, you can do it! We're all behind you and rooting for you girl. Muneca, if you feel you'd like to share, I'd love to hear your story. The ones with happy endings are indeed the best kind. Link to comment
esboogie143 Posted March 27, 2005 Author Share Posted March 27, 2005 Thanks very much!!! Link to comment
arwen Posted March 27, 2005 Share Posted March 27, 2005 Hey girl! You will be ok!!! It's hard, you feel horrible and scared, you will feel tempted to call him, and ... every time you DON'T call him, you will be building a piece of new self-esteem. Maybe you don't know it's there now, but when you slowly get past this (which you will), you will realize that you have been working on things even if you felt so depressed and scared. Everything you go through is part of the process. You're doing alright. Take care, keep venting, Ilse. PS. Don't call him Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 27, 2005 Share Posted March 27, 2005 Hey girl - glad to hear that your house is spotless I'm still working on mine and watching the UNC vs. Wisc game. (Go badgers!!!) Anyways... maybe this would be a good time to get back in touch with friends from high school, and long lost relatives. Write some letters - catch up with them. It will make use of that stationary people always buy as presents (I have a HUGE stack of it!!!) Take care! Link to comment
esboogie143 Posted March 28, 2005 Author Share Posted March 28, 2005 Thanks all...well its sunday and im still hanging in there,,havent call BUT HAVE TEMPTATION TO!!!! ITs sooo hard but im holding my ground! thanks guys sooo much!! Link to comment
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