6 Year Break Up, Advice?

[Wiseman2]

Just keep doing what you are doing self improvement and profession wise. Do consider forcing the hand of this friendliness by sending at least a notarized certified letter setting up a repayment schedule. Why? Her reaction may shock you into recovery as to her insincerity. Secondly you need to have something in writing that this was never a "gift" or else she can legally default entirely.

That was exactly my thinking, I lack ambition yet I cleverly invested the money I did make the last few years and built a nest egg, they see ambition in a very narrow way. Her mother does not know that she lent money from me to pay off credit card debts. I dont know how else to put this other than I am really not coping. I am carrying out so much self improvement but never feel like I can get her off my mind. Any advice?

[MissCanuck]

That was exactly my thinking, I lack ambition yet I cleverly invested the money I did make the last few years and built a nest egg, they see ambition in a very narrow way. Her mother does not know that she lent money from me to pay off credit card debts. I dont know how else to put this other than I am really not coping. I am carrying out so much self improvement but never feel like I can get her off my mind. Any advice?

 

Time is the best healer. So is space, and plenty of it.

 

It hasn't been that long since the break-up; you need to be more patient with yourself. You will have good days and bad days. Good weeks and bad weeks. It's part of the break-up process. It's not pleasant but you will feel better little by little.

 

A lot of us have been in your position at some point or another. It does get easier.

[Nerve]

Time is the best healer. So is space, and plenty of it.

 

It hasn't been that long since the break-up; you need to be more patient with yourself. You will have good days and bad days. Good weeks and bad weeks. It's part of the break-up process. It's not pleasant but you will feel better little by little.

 

A lot of us have been in your position at some point or another. It does get easier.

 

I keep hearing that but I dont think its going to do me any good. I really wish I did but I honestly feel like she was the love of my life honestly. I am not usually an emotional person so me saying that is a pretty big step for me.

[MissCanuck]

I keep hearing that but I dont think its going to do me any good. I really wish I did but I honestly feel like she was the love of my life honestly. I am not usually an emotional person so me saying that is a pretty big step for me.

 

The problem is that you don't know that. You are fearful now. You are worried she's all there is. You don't want to believe it's really over. That's normal.

 

But if you won't at least allow yourself to imagine the possibility that something better is waiting in your future, you won't heal. There's really not much you can do in that case.

 

Have you dated anyone else besides her? It sounds like since you are young and have been together a while, you haven't really had other relationships. In other words, you have nothing to compare this to. She's all you know and you haven't had to develop coping strategies prior this. Again, this is all quite normal after the break-up of our first serious relationship. It's usually very hard. It isn't a fast process. It's a huge learning process, though. You will discover a lot about yourself and who you are independent of her in the coming months.

 

But if you won't permit yourself to believe that time and space will do you any good, then it's a doomed and self-fulfilling prophecy.

[Nerve]

The problem is that you don't know that. You are fearful now. You are worried she's all there is. You don't want to believe it's really over. That's normal.

 

But if you won't at least allow yourself to imagine the possibility that something better is waiting in your future, you won't heal. There's really not much you can do in that case.

 

Have you dated anyone else besides her? It sounds like since you are young and have been together a while, you haven't really had other relationships. In other words, you have nothing to compare this to. She's all you know and you haven't had to develop coping strategies prior this. Again, this is all quite normal after the break-up of our first serious relationship. It's usually very hard. It isn't a fast process. It's a huge learning process, though. You will discover a lot about yourself and who you are independent of her in the coming months.

 

But if you won't permit yourself to believe that time and space will do you any good, then it's a doomed and self-fulfilling prophecy.

 

I have had two other LTR but these were when I was younger, they hurt like hell too except I did not have life plans with these girls due to us being younger.

This one is different we had spoke in depth about how I was going to be moving to her city, hell in the last month before the break she was talking to me about what age she wants to be when she gets engaged, playfully hinting at the type of ring I should buy her when the time comes. The thing I that hit me today is when I asked her what she would of done had I got a job earlier in these three months that she has felt off she said "I would of had to break then" So basically she has allowed me to apply for career jobs in her city for the last 3 months even though as she claimed she had already hit breaking point and was just waiting for the final straw?!

[MissCanuck]

I have had two other LTR but these were when I was younger, they hurt like hell too except I did not have life plans with these girls due to us being younger.

This one is different we had spoke in depth about how I was going to be moving to her city, hell in the last month before the break she was talking to me about what age she wants to be when she gets engaged, playfully hinting at the type of ring I should buy her when the time comes. The thing I that hit me today is when I asked her what she would of done had I got a job earlier in these three months that she has felt off she said "I would of had to break then" So basically she has allowed me to apply for career jobs in her city for the last 3 months even though as she claimed she had already hit breaking point and was just waiting for the final straw?!

 

I agree, that was very inconsiderate and shady of her to do. That should tell you something about her character and mindset now. She could have put the breaks on this while you were applying for jobs, but she didn't.

 

Honestly, the more you say, the more it sounds like there is another guy in the picture. She probably waited until she got clearer signals from him to break up with you.

 

You really need to focus on moving forward without her.

[Nerve]

I agree, that was very inconsiderate and shady of her to do. That should tell you something about her character and mindset now. She could have put the breaks on this while you were applying for jobs, but she didn't.

 

Honestly, the more you say, the more it sounds like there is another guy in the picture. She probably waited until she got clearer signals from him to break up with you.

 

You really need to focus on moving forward without her.

 

See again I thought this whole other guy on the scene thing but she swore on her unborn niece that there was not. I dont know whether to believe as obviously she has lied about so much till this point but thats pretty dark if she has lied on a yet to born childs life?!

[goatjazz3]

Hi, sent you a private message. Good luck.

Goaty.