Broke up 2 weeks ago & blocked comm. Should I check to see if he's contacted me?

[loverogue]

We were together for 2 years. As the story goes, we started off great, then things turned sour. He suffers from depression, is extremely unstable, and scores high on the narcissistic scale.

 

Every fight was my fault. He never took the blame for anything and after 2 years of feeling sorry for myself, I finally realized I needed to let go of this toxic relationship.

 

After a longggggg breakup, I finally got the self confidence and sense to block him from all social media and block him from contacting me via phone/text.

 

The only form of communication left open is via email (can you block someone from contacting you on gmail?).

 

The last thing I said to him was that I loved him and wished him well. I said I hoped that he would find happiness and that if we were to ever run into each other after the breakup that I hoped we would be able to act like civilized adults. I promised he would never hear from me again.

 

It's been 2 weeks since the email was sent. 2 weeks since I've checked my email to see if he's responded (I sent it through an old email account I hardly use). 2 weeks that I've been at peace.

 

The issue herein lies that part of me is curious to see if he's responded. Part of me is wondering about him...

 

So here's where I need your help... Should I check my email? I know I'll be disappointed if he has not tried to contact me but I feel like it would give me the reassurance I'm looking for to move on. However, if he has contacted me, I feel like the email will be negative and hurtful, coming from a place of anger and hurt, and I don't think I'm ready to endure that type of message from him.

 

The curious side of me is driving me nuts though. What should I do?!

[Matt3939]

I've wondered the same things sometimes. But once I make that decision really make it. If anything gets thru I just delete it. Yes I'm curious but what good could come out of it?

[Wiseman2]

It would be best not to care if he responded, despite natural curiosity. He may not respond, he may have blocked you, it could be a nasty response, etc. Now he has all the power to hurt you if you send something like this and feel invested in a response.

 

Have you ever broken up before? What was the reason for the breakup? It sounds like the drama and toxicity that you describe continues to have a hold on you, no?

I finally got the self confidence and sense to block him from all social media and block him from contacting me via phone/text. I know I'll be disappointed if he has not tried to contact me but I feel like it would give me the reassurance I'm looking for to move on.

[reinventmyself]

So here's where I need your help... Should I check my email? I know I'll be disappointed if he has not tried to contact me but I feel like it would give me the reassurance I'm looking for to move on. However, if he has contacted me, I feel like the email will be negative and hurtful, coming from a place of anger and hurt, and I don't think I'm ready to endure that type of message from him.

 

So by checking to see if he's contacted you, either scenario will cause you some form of distress or disappointment.

The purpose of cutting contact is to heal. Looking for communication of some sort is like picking at a scab.

[DancingFool]

The whole point of blocking is so that you don't look, see, engage again because nothing good ever comes out of that but prolonging the pain and the drama.

[greta96]

The best, smartest thing to do would be not to check your email and to leave him in the past, where he belongs. With that said, I always gave in and checked, when confronted with the situation, because curiosity won over. This is why I can't tell you not to do it, but I can tell you that not doing it would be best.

[Seymore]

So here's where I need your help... Should I check my email? I know I'll be disappointed if he has not tried to contact me but I feel like it would give me the reassurance I'm looking for to move on.

 

No, it'll give you a lot of crying and headaches and being disappointed in yourself for breaking. Sounds like a great deal, no?

 

Either way - if you look and find a good letter from him, you're going to set yourself back and agonize some more - then in another two weeks you're going to post here asking "should I look again? Part 2"

 

If you find a mean letter, you're going to be agonizing over being hurt and set yourself back again.

 

Solution? Don't look. And yes, you can block someone on gmail.

[jennylove]

No please don't do it. I'm not sure if you can block in gmail, but you can from Yahoo. I'd Google "how to delete my gmail account" and delete that account. Also there are a couple of really really good Facebook pages for ppl healing after a Narcisstic breakup or healing from a Narcisstic parent etc. For anyone who has broken up with a N or was discarded by a N, it's repeated and repeated on those site to go strict NC. You can do this and it will get better.

[waxie]

We are on the same boat, I deleted my ex on my insta but I keep checking on Fb if she is online...I can't help it...but recently I have tried not to for me to heal..it's needed I think...so don't check and move on if u really want to forget him