Sexually Assaulted, was I raped?

[lukeb]

Absolutely, never ever a victim's fault.

 

Its not about blaming the victim, it is about accepting that we are human beings and accountable for the things we do.

[Seraphim]

Yes, he should be accountable for his actions with about 20 years.

[lukeb]

Yes, he should be accountable for his actions with about 20 years.

 

Why stop at 20 years? If the more we punish the perpetrator is directly proportional to the chances the victim will turn their life around shouldn't we then punish them more severely? I mean if that is what you believe.

[IAmFCA]

No I don't blame victims, I only hold people accountable for the things they are responsible for. Remember I did say that the sentence was justified, not that he shouldn't he held accountable for the things he did and suffer the consequences for it. Sometimes I don't like the victim mentality and the belief that everything that happens are events that are out of your control.

 

If you think long prison terms are designed to prevent bad things from happening again, you may want to revisit that notion. I also think the lynch mob mentality is actually doing harm in preventing rehabilitation prospects for Brock.

 

Emily wasn't unconscious when she had 4 shots of hard alcohol with her mother who dropped her off to this party when she was already half-cut. Emily wasn't unconscious when she left the party with Brock. Sure I am happy to hold Brock accountable for what he did, but what are you telling young women who are going to college? What would you tell your daughter? You're a victim in everything you do and nothing that happens is under your control, but if you're a guy everything you do is under your control and accountable for everything. There is a lack of balance here I find extremely dangerous. These stories demonstrate exactly how dangerous reckless behavior can be.

 

I think there are a few paradigms being discussed at once in this post. On the count of did he do a criminal act by imposing himself on someone else? Yes, we agree, clearly he did. Was she irresponsible by putting herself in a pseudo-public environment without the ability to fend for herself? To a degree, yes, whether intentionally or not (some days, we get hammered from the same dose that another day feels like a buzz - that difference does happen). One reason our legal system exists is to protect those who can't protect themselves. Whether a person is more easily preyed upon because they are inattentive, ill advised, naive, or ill equipped physically or mentally is not relevant to whether that person has protection under the law.

 

To your point, we need to teach one another how to keep themselves safe. Men, generally speaking, can go to a college party and drink themselves into oblivion and not have their bodies violated - though the risk is there it is small. Women do not have that freedom. It is part of what creates a difference between the genders, whether it is an imbalance or a difference in perspective is a different topic.

 

Men put themselves at risk when they have sexual contact when they themselves are drunk, as well as when their partner is drunk. If the laws came down the other way, guilty until proven innocent, then the risk in this situation would lie with the man. He would have to protect himself from a rape charge. Even if my premise is facile, imagine for a minute how dynamics would be different if men had to be vigilant about avoiding a rape charge, and women were the ones seen as the potential source of harm. It changes things, even little social behaviors that have long been unremarkable.

[Seraphim]

Why stop at 20 years? If the more we punish the perpetrator is directly proportional to the chances the victim will turn their life around shouldn't we then punish them more severely? I mean if that is what you believe.

You have no idea what I believe . Not even close . I won't even explain it because you will always find a way that a criminal is not responsible.

[lukeb]

You have no idea what I believe . Not even close . I won't even explain it because you will always find a way that a criminal is not responsible.

 

Show me anywhere where I said a criminal is not responsible.

[lukeb]

Men, generally speaking, can go to a college party and drink themselves into oblivion and not have their bodies violated

 

I'm not so sure, I wouldn't dream of having such a reckless disregard for my safety, and I am a guy. Mind you I'm a gay guy and in some ways can be on the same side of the equation that a lot of women might feel they fall. It also reminds me of something that happened to a friend of mine, his apartment was broken into robbed and attacked. When I asked if he was alright, another friend told me: "Oh yeah all he got was a goose-egg." It did get me thinking that there is a general difference in how we view the sacredness of female bodies as opposed to male bodies. That probably runs pretty deep into our way of thinking we don't realize. It is only really females instrumental in the survival of the species, and males are for the most part disposable. When men's bodies get wrecked, assaulted, killed in wars, on the job etc. we are not nearly as concerned. There was also some that I could agree with in your post.

[Zaphod]

Show me anywhere where I said a criminal is not responsible.

 

I wouldn't bother if I were you mate. You'll get involved in a quagmire of feeling like you're stepping on eggshells. Logic, rational discussion and reality don't actually come into play here.

[Seraphim]

Excuse me?

[HeartGoesOn]

This thread has run its course...