Getting through the weekends TOGETHER!

[goatjazz3]

Morning all,

 

I thought I would start a new thread to help everyone get through the weekends, it's a funny few days, sort of lonely and a time when we will mostly miss that special person.

So drop by and feel free to chat, add a rant, share you feelings and emotions....if we stick together and share our thoughts and feelings then we can make it!....

 

Together we are stronger ....

[Derek1985]

Yep, weekends tend to be the worst. Especially if I don't force myself out of bed. You really do gotta get up and plan a full busy day.

 

Also that first 5-10 min after waking up is the absolute worst feeling of the day. It's like you get swarmed with all the emotions and reality that she is still gone. I die a little everytime I wake

[Lees78]

Weekends suck. My friends are all married and having family time with no room for me to impose or have a meltdown or go do something with. I am so lonely at the weekends now.

 

Derek - you are totally right. I cry in the mornings for far too long. And I am not the crying type. I miss her so much, and I live rurally without the helpful trappings of city life to get up and go out to or to meet people.

[goatjazz3]

It's rubbish, really hard.

I am trying to keep positive, been out this morning to a local car boot sale, but it started to rain.

Back at my mums now, watching the golf.

But once I am back to my flat in October, currently being rented out, I will be better, hopefully, get chatting online dating etc....

But for now we can talk here, just read your stories, they are horrible, we are all suffering...but things do get better...time...time is our healer...but it doesn't make it any better.

Keep chatting friends.

Gary (U.K.)... Near Portsmouth.

[Elecguitar600]

We are all in it together. Wake up with a deep breath and stand up strong. Today will be a good day and tomorrow too!

[Lees78]

Yeah I know time is what is needed. I just feel so isolated. I don't have any family - no siblings etc and parents I don't really get on with (I was raised by my grandparents who are long dead) and in any case are a 7hr drive away even if I did want to see them. I don't have close friends nearby either, except one, and they have small children and are very busy. It is so hard. I think only the dog and his unconditional love and waggy welcome whenever I return to a room is keeping me alive.

 

I've tried to make friends locally, and thought I had, but it turns out that they actually didn't mean it when they said they would be here for me. The only folk that have checked in on me or fulfilled their arrangements over the last 2 weeks/next 2 weeks are two work colleagues and one friend who has a full time job and young family so very little time. Most just cancelled or never bothered. I've even gone as far as saying I'm struggling can anyone distract me for an hour or two with coffee etc by text and on facebook and no responses from the ones I thought would be here for me.

[Matt3939]

Yep weekends are no fun at least not latally. I've been trying to save $$$ so that's not making stuff easier latally. Everything costs $$$. Just been spending time reading online and researching things im interested in that's free.

[Lees78]

That is a good tactic Matt. I have been continuing renovation when I feel up to it, and doing lots of online research for my short trip to Morocco in November. And probably spending far too much time on sites like these just to pass the time. Sometimes I feel like my life has become a bit of a game of just watching the minutes tick by until bedtime, which is blessed release when I sleep. I hate that. I am just so not like this. I am a manic doer of things, never waste a minute. I feel crap, and then crap on top for wasting time. I used to play a fair bit of online games but they're all associated with the ex in my head as we used to play them together.

[Wiseman2]

I like goatjazz's idea of going to flea markets and stuff like that. don't have to buy anything but it's free to just get out thaere and mix things up.

[Lees78]

I am going to a huge car boot tomorrow. I'm building some bespoke lamps. One is from a trumpet and the other looks like a stack of books. I need some random bits to finish them off.

[goatjazz3]

Yep, I do a lot of clock watching, and as all my stuff is in boxes, I can't really do much, sort of trapped....but I counted the weeks and its only 7 until hopefully the tenants move out!...

But apart from watching tv and being on my phone, I have not done much. Went round the car boot ( flea market!)...but then is pissed down with rain!.....

Seeing my daughter tomorrow, and think of the weather is ok we will play pitch n putt at Southsea.

Think I might start a novel tonight, ....reading, not writing lol.

Or I might watch a war movie!....bit of mindless violence lol.

[Lees78]

Goat you are doing well.

 

I am forcing myself out of the house when I can. Otherwise I mostly do about 15 mins of painting and then don't have the will and just collapse in front of FB or TV (ex has been unfriended since the day of the BU and we have no mutual friends any longer so no risk of any stalking there). I have to be on FB as a lot of communication about work events happens on there. I actually also find it helpful for a bit of social interaction as most of my communication with the ex on a day to day basis was via FB and it's left a massive hole in my life.

[goatjazz3]

Yep, I still am on f/b. Blocked the ex and all her family, so no worries that I will see anything. I still have some of her friends who became mutual, but I might have to block them,as they have a place in turkey that we used..ex off there in a few weeks...i should have been going...

Anyway, I just feel a bit lost, not much to do and its annoying.

Think we are all going ok, just one day at a time.

Lees78, do you have any counselling available, I went to my first session on Monday, was very useful.

Luckily my company has supplied me with this ,six sessions for free.

I miss my hobbies, I enjoyed ebay, buying and selling stuff...but as I am at my mums cant do much at the moment.

[Lees78]

The waits for counselling are months around here. I am sure by then I will be in a much better place anyway. I am only 2 weeks along today from the shock. The first week I was still at work and just in complete shock, numb. I had to work the first weekend which is always really hard core in my job and involves a huge amount of hours - basically 5pm Fri till 9am Mon I am on call and also do mostly 7-12 hrs in work each of the three days too. I cried a lot hiding in my office. This last week I have been doing quite a lot of wallowing at home and not getting out of bed except to walk the dog. My position is worse because we were meant to be on holiday for these 3 weeks and I can't cancel leave at that short notice so am kind of twiddling my thumbs at home whilst all my mates are at work or busy because everyone expected me to be all loved up for this time. I will be better when I am back at work and feel more purpose in my life. This 3 weeks are hideous because I know when she landed in the UK, which restauraunt/hotel/day out we were meant to be having together. I wake in the morning and look at the empty bed next to me which should have her in it, the moment that we were both longing so for the last 3 months and which she just suddenly decided she didn't want. Which of my mates we were meant to be meeting together. I am dreading the day I know she gets back on a plane to the Falkland Islands in another week or so. I kind of feel my healing with properly begin after that though.

[Unscrewed]

Huh, I just remember it has been 3 weeks since the breakup. How time flies. 3 weeks and I already feel much much better than the first 3 days. I still have moments where I remember the good memories of us, but the pain has been dulled.

I'm quite enjoying staying in on the weekends. I've been out a lot, and felt I needed some rest time. Not too much rest, or it will take me to dark places, lol. Or maybe the dark places aren't so bad *fantasize about butching him into million pieces

[goatjazz3]

Yep,

I am not looking forward to the holiday. I hopefully can work through it and take some time off when I move.

Just knowing she is out in Turkey enjoying herself is going to suck.

Still I have got this far, done some tough things in the last few weeks, collecting my belongings... Horrible.... And I handled it. Just.

So stay strong and keep doing what you need to.

But its still crap.

[Matt3939]

Haha unscrewed thats a perfect name for you. I was looking thru my plex server and saw a movie called microwave massacre. Guess that will pass the time. I'm sure it's award winning

[Wile E Coyote]

Great idea G for this thread.

 

So this morning I woke up and felt terrible because she was all over my mind. Normally, I would have woken up in her arms on a Saturday morning.

 

But I forced my rear end out of bed and drove to where a meetup group was getting together to play sand volleyball. I took part and player for two hours. Had fun with only a few glimpses of her in my head every now and then. But I am going to consider it a victory.

 

Now I am super exhausted and body hurts. But I am going to eat a quick lunch, take a shower and drive hour and a half to my uncles. And watch some football games with him.

[goatjazz3]

Thanks coyote!.

Glad you have done ok today. I just thought this would help us all.

Did you win at volleyball?.

Let us know when you arrive at your uncles and enjoy the football....Leeds won!.

Keep the positive thoughts guys we will beat this crap!.

Gaz

[Wile E Coyote]

Nah it was just a friendly thing. And we kept switching teams. It is super hot outside today and I forgot to take water with me. So I had to ask random strangers if They would sell me a bottle of water. There were no shops at the park. One kind gentleman offered one of his bottles. I said I owe you a beer for this whenever, wherever. lol.

[Unscrewed]

Thanks Matt, at least I keep my sense of humor. I hope the next guy will appreciate it.

Also congrats Coyote for keeping making progress, nothing like jumping and running around to shake an ex off

And fck, it's getting dark, I have no lamps. I should remember to buy a lamp tomorrow. Tomorrow I will go meet up with some girl to buy a carpet from her. Then in the afternoon I will go to the church. I'm not religious but the people there are friendly and I could use some company.

[Wile E Coyote]

good plan unscrewed. let us know how it goes.

 

I am so tired from bouncing around this morning i just want to take a nap. I still haven't left to go to my uncle's. Feeling lazy.

[Lees78]

Tomorrow I am going to be knackered. Car boot sale, then dog walk/hike with colleagues and then if we're back in time, to the cinema with some other colleagues. Monday the women I went walking with the other day from my village want to go geocaching, so we will do that early evening. It is hard being out that long and controlling my emotions and desire to talk about the ex and not crying. I also HAVE to finish painting a load of skirting boards and the loft stairs before my friend comes to stay on Wednesday. Tuesday evening I am hosting dinner. I already feel like all this is a bit much for me, but I have promised it all so I will deliver.

[Wile E Coyote]

Lees. Looks like you have a full schedule. That is awesome. I am trying to fill up my schedule as well. It's difficult but I hope it will at least keep your mind busy from wavering. That's why I forced myself to get out and go play volleyball today.

[Lightjocj]

Just curious..going threw a breakup here also..is it that your just sad, or do you feel the need to reach out also. Have you accepted The Break-Up, and just waiting for time to pass to feel better, or are you planning on passing some time..week? Months and maybe reaching out?