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Derek1985

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About Derek1985

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  1. Yep, weekends tend to be the worst. Especially if I don't force myself out of bed. You really do gotta get up and plan a full busy day. Also that first 5-10 min after waking up is the absolute worst feeling of the day. It's like you get swarmed with all the emotions and reality that she is still gone. I die a little everytime I wake
  2. Actually I did want to fix things, that why we agreed on being friends at the time. She wanted to work on herself before dating again. She would still come over and make out with me during those 8 months and stay the night and same with me going over there. Then the last month she just started getting distant, and I gave her space, then she hit me with the news. So I feel like I was led on for that time, but it was probably my fault
  3. It wasn't. She has threatened it multiple times and I've reached out to her. But I want this to be the last, which is why I schedule therapy, but the closest session isn't until the 18th. I've deleted and blocked her number and any type of contact with her, but of course I have her # memorized in my head
  4. Yes sir. I definitely haven't progressed or learned from my lesson since I posted that. I need some people to hit me with reality so I don't continue on this stupid path
  5. I'm not coping at all. I have decent days, but my mind always switches back to obsessing over my ex. The relationship was not a good one, as I was in a dark place with the death of my best friend. It led to me being emotionally distant and down right mean to her causing us to be on and off until she got the strength to move on. We became friends after the break up for 8 months until she met someone that she fell in love for, and that was where our friendship ended. I accepted it for a bit and then it hit me that I didn't want to let her go, I tried doing my best to stay out of her life by
  6. I met an amazing woman 3 years ago, I have to admit from the first date that I was extremely intimated by her and thought she was too good for me(come to find out later, she thought the same). As soon as we would get close I would push whe away, I guess I was scared of being her, I've spent most of my life being alone. We dated for 2 1/2 years, with a major break up in the middle of it. The break up was caused by me not knowing how to cope the death of my best friend, I ended up pushing her away and not being there for her. She was mad at my behavior and I broke up with her. We eventually
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