Never had a gf i REALLY NEED one but i am TO UGLY and to SHY

[Bunyelmer]

I am 16 years old

link removed

 

On the link above is the real-life photo of me then u see how ulgy i am.

It is taken 7 days ago

 

ok now i NEVER got a GF, and as i look now be fair i can never get one

i am also to shy to take a risc for rejection.

 

and i never got asked be4

 

I would be easly happy with almost evrey girl now

 

i am so afraid i have to end my youth without ever having a gf, i REALLY NEED 1 i am SO UNHAPPY with my useless stuppid live, getting a gf would make me happy enough,

 

I am so scared i will die before i ever wil get a gf.

 

What can i do ? its hopeless isnt it ? should i suicide ?

[gabby]

awww baby..ur really cute...and maybe if u werent soo shy u would have girls..they dont always go after the looks..i mean be funny and cute...who cares what u look like...dont make that put u down!

[caliboy]

You don't want a girl who's all into looks. Girls who're keepers are attracted to guys who're smart, witty, funny and clever. In general, the girls who're too much into looks are superficial an immature, so you don't want to deal with them.

[kitty_kat]

hi bunnyelmer...

 

suicide is definitely NOT AN OPTION!! You are 16. I'm 34 now, but know exactly how you feel. i didn't think i was attractive when i was your age either. Your body is going through all of these changes now. You are like the catapillar, ready to turn into a butterfly!!! As far as being shy goes, I can't really give you advice, because I am pretty much the opposite. I'll talk to anyone. I think because you put yourself down, you can't see the beauty in yourself. Just because you haven't had a girlfriend yet, doesn't mean it won't happen. As I've learned, as long as you are looking for it, it won't happen. That's when it will find you. Just be optomistic in life (i know that's hard), being loving, friendly, and yourself, and someone will like that. They will like you for you. Don't give up hope....and definitely don't consider suicide. There are THOUSANDS and THOUSANDS of people in your shoes. Not just 16 year olds either, people of every age go through the same feelings that you do. The most important piece of advice I can give you though, is that you must learn to love yourself, before other people can love you. Try to hear what I am saying...

Good Luck, and Hang in there! ( by the way...i think you're a cutie!!)

Kitty Kat

[SmintyMinty]

Hi BunnyElmer! I'm sorry you're so down on yourself! You've no reason to be as far as I can see - you're a cutie! i didn't have a boyfriend til I was 18!

 

When I was 16 I was painfully shy, awkward. geeky, and had zero self-confidence round guys. I thought like you did too - that there was something wrong with me that i must be ugly, unfunny for guys not to like me back and want to be with me. But what you get to realise is that looks aren't what is most important! I'd take a caring, sweet guy who can make me laugh and who i can talk to for hours anyday! Think about the great things you have going for you and believe in it and others will see this too. Ok so looks attract at first but it's whether you bond with and love the person underneath for what they are that really counts and what keeps people together. Looks aren't everthing - ever seen how a goodlooking person can suddenly look really unattractive if they're selfish, arrogant and egotistical!?!? Not all girls are as superficial as you think!

 

Please don't feel so bad about yourself. Trust me! It will happen - someone special will come along! Be patient and learn to appreciate and love yourself first! You never know someone might just come along and usually when you least expect it! Don't worry so much and don't be so down on yourself - get out there, enjoy yourself and have fun!

 

P.S. Oh and another thing: there were some guys at high school who the girls didn't think were cute but i've seen them years later and I'm like oooooh hottie! I wonder who had the last laugh!??!

[GAbabe15]

Hey honey... DON'T RESORT TO SUICIDE! PLEASE! No one benefits from that, not matter how much you might think otherwise. Not having a GF isn't that big of a deal. Trust me. I'm your age, and i have plenty of friends that never had a girlfriend. What you need to do it try and be happy without one. You don't NEED a gf; you just REALLY want one (which is totally normal). For the longest time i thought i NEEDED a BF in order to be happy, but then i just decided i was wasting my time being upset and i should just try to enjoy life and have fun. I don't really know what happened after that but i guess that personality type is attractive cause i got a boyfriend (not right away... but still). My older brother never really had a gf til his senior year and then he found this really great girl and they went out for over a year. So my advice to you is to relax, and don't worry so much about it. HAVE FUN!!!

[faeriechyld]

It's not a big deal that you haven't had a girlfriend. Every guy I've dated for the most part so far never had a girlfriend before me and the last one was 19 when he met me!!! You're bound to find a girl who will like you for who you are and not the way you look. And believing that you are not attractive is only going to make others feel that way. If you believe in yourself and you believe you will make a fine boyfriend, then others will believe it too. It's not easy. You need to think about all the good quailities you have. If you remember these and focus on them instead of the negative ones, you will build your confidence and you won't be as shy. Don't get me wrong, shyness is the hardest thing to get over. I am still shy in certain situations and with certain people. All I can tell you is be yourself, when you find a girl who likes you for you, hold onto her, she's definitely a keeper! I wish you luck, don't give up!

[bzborow1]

One thing you are forgetting man is that most women in high school are just as shy and insecure as you are. They just seem to be better at hiding it. Ask any guy who was shy in high school (that's me), and they'll tell you to go for it because they understand that women are just as shy as you...you never know until you try!

[CrazyKing]

FIRST: Each girl as a different imagination on what's beautiful...

 

SECOND: Hey, I'm 17 and I never had one, others here are over 20 and never had one, but we're still alive...

 

THIRD: I can suggest you to stop thinking about it and find some activities that interest you, some time it will happen...

 

Yours sincerely, CK...

[5H4RK]

DUDE!!! I've been there! All I have to say is dont be anything you're not

just be you. You should try new things, such as going to school dances (im white i cant dance ) but every-1 can dance to slow songs!! You're 16 time to start driving now, Drive around, get out, met ppl! Even if is just to say "whats up?"

 

Something that I've learned is that you will hardly catch a girl looking at you, but they do, Girl are more sly then guys!

Guys, Like you and I aren't sly like that we always get caught. But all girl

liked to be looked at. Attention is what they really crave.

 

one last thing, if you have any girl----friends have see if they will hook you up with one of their other friends or met girls as only friends.

[foolich]

IF I WAS 16 OR 17 AGAIN I WOULD DATE YOU. YOUR A CUTIE. DON'T BE SHY. IT'S ALL GOING TO CHANGE. YOU'RE BODY IS JUST GOING THROUGH THOSE DEVELOPMENTS. GIVE IT ANOTHER COUPLE YEARS AND YOU'LL BE THE HOTTEST THING. PM ME IF YA WANT

[Heretic]

I agree with everyone. You're not ugly, you have to let that go. You're using that to protect you from getting hurt. Don't worry about getting hurt though, just go for it. Be confident in yourself and your looks. Go ask out the hottest single girl you know on a date and if she says no don't fret about it. Just be cool and find someone else.

 

Good Luck and stop hiding from the girls.

[David83]

Hye man, your not ugly at all, i think that main problem is your shyness, Girls all have different perspectives on what they find attractive, some go for looks (which i think is rediculous), some go for personality, some go for atitude e.t.c, but i think that any girls who only go for looks are pathetic (no offence to any females on here), but i personally look for the girls personality, if they have a great personality then they are the one for me, and if they are good looking then it is a bonus!

 

How old are you anyways?, i say get out with your friends to some pubs/clubs/bars e.t.c (only if your old enough ) and have a great time while you are still young, trust me you dont wanna be in my position, i just broke up with my girlfriend of 2 1/2 years, and its killing me, and now i cant move on because i love her so much.

 

Having a girlfriend is great at the start and all the way through to be honest but when it comes to the breaking up parts, it hurts like hell, so i say live your life while you are young, ahve fun with your friends, meet new people!

 

And dont even think about suicide, thats rediculous, things cant be that bad, i dont believe that suicide is ever an option. so dont be stupid ok mate.

 

Hope this helps you out abit, and makes you realise that you are not living a bad life, some people dont meet there soulmates till there 40's, some are lucky enough to find them in their youth and stay with them, ive found mine yet we arent together, but im working on it, so wish me luck!

 

PM me if you wanna talk about things ok, i'll gladly help you out!

[Knctrnl22]

I am now 22 I once thought like you

 

I thought that I would never find a girlfriend and I really wanted on like you do.

 

Then something happened i got a job and started to hang out with girls, lots of girls.

 

Maybe you need to work somewhere where there is girls.

 

Anyways

 

A couple of years passed and I truned 18 then I had my first real girlfriend.

 

Now I am 22 and we broke up about 3 months ago and it is the hardest thing that I have ever faced. We are still friends but It can never be the same.

 

The key to finding a girlfriend is to meet girls, you dont have to ask them out but atleast talk to them make them laugh and hopefully one will notice you.

 

Thats how I started by fliriting with them. Don't rush it because everything is good, even not having a girlfriend is good sometimes because they do give you problems.

 

I hope this helps

[Miss_Angel]

Being shy is one thing, being ugly is another.....and I did check out your homepage, and believe me, your not ugly, and to think that- has someone told you that directly-? Cause if they did....Grrrrrrr! But seriously. Being shy does however work to your disadvantage. Most girls tend to wait for guys to make the first move and ask them out, and yeah, your shy, so it makes things that much more difficult....but hang in there. I'm 21 now, and I didn't have a date until I started college...it was rough, but not the end of the world...If you want some real advice about overcoming your shyness- start out small...say hello to at least 3 people you don't know each day, smile and check out my photo:

 

link removed~4AAAAAMAAEhs6BDGiChjL9jQdzQlyvPalB3wXs7TV6B7sBdbu0rdBtOw$$~4AAAAANAAGxO04mwLEsTu0bsQOAx4d0E6688mMxdgJJPU$

 

Best of luck to you,

Mel

[NoCturnal DrAgoN]

I don't think you're ugly. You just need to overcome your shyness. I am shy myself, but ever since I started talking to people and girls a lot more, it's starting to go away. Most girls are not at all into looks. It's the personality that counts. It's the inner you.

 

Nobody wants to buy a book or a CD just because the cover looked good. Even the most beautiful person in the world can be ugly if they have a bad personality. The inner beauty is more beautiful than the outer beauty, but some people just don't realize that. Just start talking to people even if you are scared to talk to them because that can help you overcome your shyness. If you are a good person and just being yourself, girls will see that and hopefully you'll get a girlfriend .

[Bunyelmer]

If i just only see a girl ( looking good or ugly ) i directly am shy and turn my head to a different direction then i am to afraid to have a look at the girl again, but at the other way i still want to know how she looks.

 

Mostly i met girls and i think : wow not bad and a day l8er i notice she already has a bf.

 

Not to long ago 2 girls i know over the internet and online gaming came to my place and my friend. and 2 other boys came we where with 8 ppl the photo's are at my site. I fell in love on both of the girls, They where called Ri and li ( i hope they are not on this forum ) anyway I was mroe in love on Ri because i knew her better and my friend told me he wanted to have Li, and one of the boys who also came told me that Ri should have a relation with me and Li a relation with my friend.

 

I really hoped for that and so much for my friend to.

At the first night the 2 girls sleeped at my house, when the others left, they almost didnt say a single word and directly wanted to go to bed.

We went asleep and nothing happened, the next day they directly wanted to leave and went to my friends house. But also my friend wasnt lucky this time, i accepted that my dream was only a dream again, but i hoped for my friend to get Li, on the internet i was told The girls got an relation with the 2 boys who also came.

Ofcource i was after all happy for those 2 boys but i really did cry a long time because of it, i was myself i did try to make a little talk and to be nice, but the whole real-life meeting there was no signal one of the girls liked me for the inside or for the look. They never asked me something or started to talk with me, i tryed no matter how shy i was i just asked normal things to show some intrests. But before they even came i gave myself a chanche of 0 % anyway i still tried as u see.

Talking to them and asking normal things was to hard for me already, i was shaking with my legs when i just asked : Do you need a drink ?

And it took me a long time to get rid of the feelings and finally ask it, they rejected the offer trough. this counts for my friend to.

 

Where is the best place for me to find some girls ? how can i be nice, myself, not afraid and still not directly let them know i want something with them.

 

On the internet one of the boys told me Ri knew i fell in love with her.

I said imposable i hardly ever looked at her, only when i asked or talked to her ( and that happened 2 or 3 times ) and thats social.

Also he told me that Ri would reject my offer if i would ask her.

 

Just to get to it : How or where should i search for the girls how can i find them, and how can i get them ? if i am really that cute, then zoom in at my face. Ow you should see me irl -_-.

 

Not long ago a couple of girls i know from my place came on my door ( 8-10 year aged girls ) i am aged 16

A girl ( about age 15 which i dont like not inside and not the look )

asked me : do you like that girl ? ( i use that girl to make it easy )

She was 12 years old but looks good trough, i dont know her good enough from the inside because before that day i never got signals se liked me. Anyway i thought they where playing a game and i didnt beleave them also if i would like an 12 year old girl and i am 16 myself how would all the other ppl who live here think about that ?

the 15 year old girl went away and l8er came back with the message : now she cries. I didnt beleave it and l8er she came herself laughing, and saying it was a game and she didnt want me.

And yes it was a game l8er they went to my friends door and did the same ( with a other girl trough ).

I dont know what the real truth is but i know 1 thing i actualy like that 12 years old girl and i dont care about the age myself, but what if i would have sayed yes to that 15 years old girl that i liked that 12 years old girl and she did tell me it was a game then i would have lost my whole reputation here, if it wasnt a game and i would have a relation with her then my friends would think bad of me because there is an 4 year diference if i would brake up with her there would be no reputation for me

This place is to good for me i dont want to take any risc to lose my reputation here this place is so important for me the athmospere is amazing i cant lose that. ( what should i have done in case something like that would happen again )

[Miss_Angel]

To answer your first question- You can meet girls everywhere....but the best place to meet girls are places you already hang out- and I'm talking about real life, not over the net here.... I think you should use the net as a tool in building your self confidence...as far as talking to women...practice at it and eventually, you'll become better at it.

 

As far as the situation with the silly little girls, please don't take their stupidity to heart... its obvious that they have yet to mature yet. Give it time, be patient, follow my previous advice, and DON'T SETTLE FOR LESS THAN YOU DESERVE.

 

Thanks for the update as well.

[Cuu]

I used to be like you. When I was 16 I had very low self-esteem. I was very shy. So shy that people percieved me as being rude. Plus my acne didn't help me much either. So I know exactly where you're coming from.

I thought I would be a loner forever. I learned to except me for who I am.

About a year later, I met my first girlfriend. She was very pretty and I knew I didn't had a chance. I would shake when I talk or look at her in person. So I called her instead just to make small talk. We were working at the same place so she didn't blow me off completely. What I'm saying is use other methods of communication. Use instant messagers to talk to them. Eventually you'll grow on her and she'll see past your looks. That's when you know you've found the right girl. This was the method I used and I've been with my girl for over 5 years. Although she broke it off with me 5 days ago!! I'm still in pain. But that's another story. Anyways, don't just spend your time looking for a girlfriend. You'll get a girl when you're least expecting it.

[Bunyelmer]

1 of my problems is next to being shy and ugly, is that i hardly ever meet girls, where can i find them how can i find them, when ? with or alone ? How can i get to know a/the girl ? There aren't a lot girls in my place

[EvilKid989]

I used to be like you and believe it or not i was 13 when i got my first girlfriend. Before that i thought I was an ugly loner who didnt have anything or anyone and thought i never would. But im here to tell you not to put yourself down! You look just as good as any other guy out there! Don't let those girls playing games bring you down, you may say i may be young to even be talking about this (im still 13) but all the bad has happened to me. Girls used to play these "games" with me that they think is funny and after i would just run and cry but that isnt what you should do, everyone has to make a mistake to learn from it! and boy, talk about shy, i was shyest of everyone my class in grade 6 even voted me as it just for fun...... I thought there was no hope for me at all (typical thinking of young teens like me >.

[Seraph]

Hey man,

I'm 17, if that helps. I hear ya; and I hear tons of myself in your words too. I was the same way. I didn't have much faith in myself. I'd bash myself with the same stuff... how i'm not attractive enough, smart enough, smooth enough, whatever!

And this was when a girl rejected me. It's one thing to have it right when you ask, but it's another to be led on for a while and then told right when summer hits... as if she's going for a summer fling, and I'm on hold until school starts again. More of a 'dumped' now that I think about it.

I felt like crap for all of 5 minutes. It's probably because I expected it for weeks in advance and started feeling very sad already. but annnnnyyyways.

 

Point of the story is... I realized that I'm actually not that bad. I mean, I dont know you personally, but looking at your website... I see your the ldr of a gaming clan. Leadership skills, diplomacy, mad shooting skillz.... heh. Yeah. I bet if you look at yourself in the mirror again, you'll realize your not as bad as you say you are.

I mean, really, give yourself some more credit.

If you're looking for something to do, maybe check out the mall... freshen the wardrobe up a bit. After her, I pretty much redefined my style, and it's given me tons of confidence. try it? might help.

 

best of luck, man.

[Stiletto]

I havent read all pages But i know pretty much what you are talking about, I have the same problem I am 17. and think of myself as ugly you can see my picture if you want down here.

link removed

The Problem is I think that i am ugly and thereforeeeee I dont go out and am quite shy. I have no idea how i would get a girlfriend or just a friend.

 

.. Life is hard

[Seraph]

ah, man. I hear ya. But I guess good things take time? Quit putting yourself down though. I mean, really, from a fellow 17 year old . When someone disses you, you probably have 5 things to say right back to the fella'... so... why are you so eager to diss yourself like this?

 

Confidence, man. I was shy too, very shy. But... if you start to just pretend to be confident, and keep pretending, you'll be confident about yourself in no time.

Easiest way to make friends is to do something nice, i think. *shrugs*

[psychochic]

umm r u blind! if i didnt av a dic of a b/frend id go out wit u i used 2 fink and be da da same as u coz im a minger but u av 2 jus try and be confident and start flirtin who cares if it doesnt work its fun and avin a g/b/frend isnt everyfing. and tryna commit suicide is no way of handlin ur probs i ended up on a drip in A AND E coz i downed a bottle of whiskey to try end my probs no way commit suicide it aint worth it i bet u av gr8 frends and u r vvvv fit.

hugs 'n' kisses X X X