Driving problems?

[SecurityMan]

Hi all haven't posted on here for a while so thankyou to all who are reading this.

 

Not entirely sure on what to think about my driving situation, to cut it down I'd class myself as a confident young man who works as a security officer and door supervisor for the past 6 years, I'm quite high up in these positions aswell at work, and would love a career in the police. The problem is I just cannot get my head around driving a car ?

 

I've failed my theory test 4 times despite numerous hours of revision and when doing my driving lessons I'm just a total bag of nerves who feels asif he's just a total danger to himself and other people.

 

Is this somthing anyone else has and has any advice on what to do or is driving simply not for everyone? It's literally a huge brick wall in my life I simply can't seem to get over, I've been having lessons about two years now .

 

Thank you all for your time

[SecurityMan]

I would just like to add that the driving problem is not the fact of driving a manual therefor switching to a automatic is not needed, it's the fact of driving itself.

[Fudgie]

How long have you done the driving lessons? I was a bundle of nerves myself, and for a long time, and it took a lot of driving lessons to get over that fear, not just a few. I am a very confident but careful driver now.

[SecurityMan]

How long have you done the driving lessons? I was a bundle of nerves myself, and for a long time, and it took a lot of driving lessons to get over that fear, not just a few. I am a very confident but careful driver now.

 

2 years now my driving instructor is very good and helpful it's just me personally, I'm starting to doubt myself if it's just simply not for me although I'd love to do it, I would also say I was quite intelligent ( without sounding asif I'm blowing my own trumpet ) but when it comes to cars ect it's like reading Chinese

[zaahid]

you have a very low expectation and thinking you gonna fail so raise those expectations up and try and succeed you will remember what you have been taught and stive towards using those skills eventually it will come through for you

[Fudgie]

Have you been diagnosed with anxiety? It sounds like you're psyching yourself out. 2 years is a long time to be in regular driving lessons and to not have improved at all in your debilitating anxiety.

[agent1607307371]

Do you get to practise driving when you're not with your instructor?

 

And how are you learning your theory? When I was using the books, I had no clue, couldn't keep anything in my head. There's a website I used that basically tests you over and over and lets you see which areas you know and don't - once I had all my areas at a good level, I took my test and passed.

 

Honestly, it took me a long time to read the road, and to not be convinced that everyone else out there was trying to kill me. (But I did still just fail my test for the 3rd time - I can drive fine, but there's something about being tested that freaks me out.)

[SecurityMan]

Have you been diagnosed with anxiety? It sounds like you're psyching yourself out. 2 years is a long time to be in regular driving lessons and to not have improved at all in your debilitating anxiety.

 

Yes I have been taking Prozac now for two months I've had years of anexity although I've recently been put back on medication for it. So that will obviously be adding to the problem

[Seraphim]

How much practise do you get in the car?

[SecurityMan]

How much practise do you get in the car?

 

About 3 hours a week I do now

[Seraphim]

You are going to have to practise everyday in different situations of driving. Do you know a liscened driver who will take you out?

[DancingFool]

Sounds like you simply need more consistent and immersive practice. Driving is something you simply get used to and get comfortable with, but it does take a lot of practice and 3 hours a week is just not enough. Also, change instructors. He might be a nice guy, but that's not getting you anywhere. Chances are that you need a different approach than what he is doing. That doesn't make him or you bad, just that different people learn differently. Basically, if what you are doing is not working, try a different approach.

 

Also, same goes for the theory part of it. As already suggested, try out different websites, books, different approach to what you've been doing. It's not about being smart or stupid, it's that we all learn and take in information differently. Some people need to read, some people need to see, some people need hands on, etc. Maybe practicing different tests and seeing information presented in a different format is all you need for that light bulb to go off for you where you go "oh that makes sense now".

 

Most important is try to stop psyching yourself out. Instead of focusing on "omg I failed" focus on what specific part was at issue and then work on fixing that part. For example, couldn't park correctly. So practice parking until you can do it in your sleep kind of a thing. Make it fun with your instructor - do traffic cones and how close you can get to it without knocking it over. Call out 2 feet, 1 foot, 10 inches, 2 inches, 1 inch, 1 hair. Have some fun with this so that you feel the car and its dimensions like an extension of your own body. Keep in mind that in order to get to that 1 hair you'll make mistakes and demolish the cone many times. That's what it's there for though. Practice practice practice until you get it juuuuust right.

[Iggy5129]

Try meditating? It will help you to gain focus and reduce stress and anxiety.

 

Also how much "theory" is there really to learn about driving? What the signs mean and how to use your signal? I'm not trying to be rude but it's really not that much to learn. Most 16 year olds learn enough to drive comfortably in a few months. You can do this!!

 

I think you've put too much pressure on yourself and it's gotten to the point where you can't perform because you've convinced yourself that you can't do it.

 

Try some meditating and if necessary get some therapy or maybe even get hypnotized? Since this is going to affect the future of your career I think it would be worth it to go this route.

[Wiseman2]

Don't the warnings on these medications tell you not to operate machinery?

I've recently been put back on medication for it. So that will obviously be adding to the problem

[lam123]

The country of your residence is an important factor to consider.

I live in Argentina and here getting driver's license is almost a joke. I think that that depends on your place of residence.

[charity]

Are you sure changing to automatic wouldn't help? Because I was TERRIFIED learning in a manual, I felt so out of control and I couldn't take in so much learning at one time..... it turned me off completely. Then I changed to automatic. I was still nervous and super scared but in a more expected way. After plenty of practice I quickly lot my fear.

[agent1607307371]

Also how much "theory" is there really to learn about driving? What the signs mean and how to use your signal? I'm not trying to be rude but it's really not that much to learn. Most 16 year olds learn enough to drive comfortably in a few months. You can do this!!

 

There's a lot of theory to learn, and you don't know which bits will come up on the test. Highway code, signs, signals, stopping times, safety, hazards and observations... My co-workers son's failed his three times.

[Seraphim]

Really the only way to become a good driver is actually driving.

[browneyedgirl36]

Really the only way to become a good driver is actually driving.

 

Yep. My mom started teaching me early -- at around 14 1/2, I would say -- just driving around the block in our rural neighborhood. Once I got my permit, at 15, she took me out driving ALL the time. By the time I actually took the "driver's ed" course, I already had quite a bit of practice driving, but I was still really anxious because I had to drive with an instructor and other students in the car. I had sleepless nights, for sure.

 

Before I got my license, my mom took me out several times per week, starting with low traffic times (like early, early Sunday mornings -- yikes!) We practiced parking in the mall parking lot super early in the morning when no one was around. We practiced U-turns and backing out of driveways and all that at very low traffic times. We practiced 4-way stops, parking along a curb, country roads, a rural highway, and finally the freeway (this was what scared me the most). I admit, I was a tense pupil -- I was scared to death a lot of the time. But, with time, it got better, and I was able to get my license before I turned 17, despite being a pretty anxious kid who worried about EVERYTHING. And, I think I'm a really good driver, overall.

 

I think it would be a great idea to get an older friend or relative who is a licensed driver to go out with you in the car as often as possible and practice a variety of maneuvers, stopping at lights, parking, driving at various speeds, etc. Also: If you do currently drive a manual, it MIGHT be helpful to practice on an automatic; it requires less multi-tasking, for sure, and may cut down on the stress.

[browneyedgirl36]

I should add: One of my practices -- parking -- involved me accidentally hitting a parked car. Pretty upsetting, especially considering the damage (to both cars). But....I got back in the car and kept at it. If I can do it, after actually crashing into something, so can you!