Mornings are the worst - Tips for starting the day off right?

[justletgo07]

Last night I went to sleep with hopes of starting today right. Waking up early. Going for a run. Looking forward not back. Trying to move out of this wallowing in grief phase. I had good intentions.

 

This morning when my alarm went off I felt like a brick wall had fallen on top of me. Zero motivation. Lots of heartache. Couldn't motivate myself to get up and do things that I knew would make me feel better.

 

What sorts of things do all of you do to start off your day on the right foot? How do you power through the morning grief? Would love to hear your tips and tricks.

 

I miss her a lot today.

 

Thank you so much for all your support.

[leseine7]

Have you ever had to recover from surgery, or a really painful illness or injury of some kind?

 

Oftentimes, if you have, there are certain times of the day that feel worse than others. When I had my tonsils out two summers ago, mornings were the worst - I felt nauseous, needed pain meds like you wouldn't believe and often was at my MOST swollen after having slept for several hours without re-upping anti-inflammatories.

 

Every day, I was prepared for this time of day to suck. I would wake up wanting to die, wanting to not have to swallow ANYTHING, but I would push through that to get up and take the pain meds I had and then try to eat something (liquid) to gain some strength. By midday I always felt better.

 

Yes there is a point: we forget that mental pain is JUST AS SEVERE as physical pain when recovering from trauma, heartbreak, grief, and other difficult experiences. There is a reason we call this feeling PAIN. Our minds and hearts handle the feelings similar to the way your nerves send receptors to the brain that there's an injury - it is the SAME thing in feeling. You know what you are recovering from. You know this is a RECOVERY process and most importantly - that it will subside over time.

 

So push through it. Chart your pain the way I charted mine - it helps. I used this when grieving a break up that hurt me very badly: I would write things, like I did after my tonsillectomy, like "8AM: Worst pain of my life." And then I would do something about it, like go for a run (a great idea btw - do this no matter how you are feeling, seriously. By the end of the run you WILL feel differently), or work on a project, or do laundry and clean. I would do what I could to either remove or distract. The worst times of day are not the times to 'work it out' or dwell on it. That's the time you need to go "okay, I need a pain killer so I can stop thinking about this person." Distract, tell yourself you will think more about your ex tomorrow, and find the pain killer (as long as this isn't drugs or alcohol or sleeping around a ton you should be good).

 

Remember what those are and use them, and treat this like a surgery - the removal of a bad organ or tissue - and that the pain is HEALING pain. Because it is, and you'll get to the point where you really see it change into you simply being healthier and stronger as a result of this.

[Cope]

Hey, I have no idea.

I haven't been able to get the perfect morning yet. Don't wanna bring ya down, just want to let you know that you're not alone in this.

 

Just today, 37 days of NC I woke up I tears. I'm dreaming of him. I'm constantly thinking of him. I have packing to do and I'm desperately slow at it,stopping to read here, get hope maybe or better here than his profile..

 

Yes mornings sucks. Real bad.

What I try to do?

I tell myself it's gonna be a great day. I put on uplifting music, oldies, the kind I used to listen to in the mornings when I was 20. It helps. Time helps. Hey, at least the last couple of weeks I'm able to get put of bed!

 

It gets better, its going slow, but it gets better. So try to make that killer morning you plan on the, indeed pain-free/inspiring evenings and if you don't succeed, don't beat yourself up, try your best and make sure you try again the next day!

[DancingFool]

Don't expect to wake up happy. Do focus on the task at hand - roll out of bed and out the door.

 

So when alarm goes off, don't hit the snooze button, don't just lay there and brood - get up. Immediately and it is hard and it will suck, but just do it. Get your jogging clothes on, grab your headset, roll out the door. Put on music, news, stand up comedy, whatever floats your boat AND makes you not think about your ex.

 

Rinse repeat until one day you wake before the alarm goes off, roll out of bed and feel good. It will come, but it takes time and perseverance and initially just absolute will power.

[Wiseman2]

Stick with a good routine, like the run is a good idea. Don't give your mind a chance to wallow. And just power through in robot mode with a good morning routine...run, shower, shave, coffee, whatever. Before you know it, you're in the rhythm of your typical day at work, etc.

What sorts of things do all of you do to start off your day on the right foot?

[Iggy5129]

Fake it til you make it.

 

Seriously force yourself to do the things you know you have to do until you actually enjoy doing them. Change is hard. It takes work and you won't always feel like doing what needs to be done but learn how to make yourself do it.

 

I'm not going through a breakup but I do battle depression and anxiety and what always makes my day 1000x better is starting with meditation. Even just 10 minutes makes my day so much better.

 

Force yourself to get out of bed because you know it's good for you. Once you're actually up you'll feel so much better.

[agaboo]

Reading all this with interest as i really struggle with this same problem... so you certainly aren't on your own!

[Cope]

Just wanted to thank everyone for all of that advice, it's so helpful for everyone!

 

I'm having a hard day today and I read this so now I'm actively trying to push the thoughts of my ex away once they appear. It helps!