How to make my boyfriend stop making me feel bad?

[RoseF06]

I've been dating my bf for about 4 years now. He is 18 and I am 20. Last year, he treated me really well and respected me.But lately it seems he just threw all the respect away. I always wore shorts, and he never said anything about it. But lately, he tells me I am a or a hoe for wearing them. It makes me feel terrible.Cause he wouldn't say that to any other girl. Just me. We work together, this morning he told me that he is surprised that our boss didn't fire me yet, (even though I always try my best at work), at work he always mutters under his breath and I barely understand him, but I hear him calling me a "dummy" or a "stupid", and it really upsets me, cause I'm just there for money. I try to stay out of his way there, but then he gets mad when I don't talk to him! We had a on and off relationship in high school, and his family doesn't really like me cause of that. He has a pic of us hanging up in his room, and I love it, but one day it was down and he said he took it down because his sister came over and she hates me. It really hurt my feelings cause my family doesn't like him too much, but I've always showed them the good sides of him and it seems like he isn't trying. He told me I am "overreacting". I feel like he is never proud of me, I let him go out with his friends all the time, and he says I can too, but when I do, he starts fighting with me, or gets pissed off towards me. Same with my hobby, he always asks "how horseback riding was?", but he has such a sarcastic tone and I feel like I cannot tell him the truth, which was that I had so much fun, because he is gonna get mad that I had a good time without him. He is so brutely honest, or at least thats what he calls his actions for calling me stupid and stuff. And its really putting me down. I hate how he is acting. I feel like crap. I always try to defend myself but whenever I say something that is against him, he gets mad at me. I don't know how to make him stop.. I love him, and I want us to work. I've talked to him about it, and he does not stop or he avoids confrontation about it. Whenever I wanna talk about something like that, (anything deep), he just lays there and doesn't respond. He accuses me of cheating too! Even though I have been with him forever and have never had another boyfriend. Its so annoying because I know I am loyal to him.

[Hollyj]

You are in an abusive relationship. You bf is disrespectful, manipulative and a bully.

 

You should never allow someone to treat you like this! You should get out of this. Now!

[Hollyj]

I would also address, why you would want to stay with someone who treats you so badly.

 

Please seek some counseling for abuse.

[Cope]

Agree with Holly here. he is disrespectful, manipulative and abusive. Get out!

 

He is not "brutally honest" and even if he was, don't stay with a person who considers you stupid and says he's honest about it. You.are.not.stupid.

 

Write down the reasons you love him, tell us how that goes. We are here for you!

It doesn't matter if you are together since you were teens, you do not deserve this behavior and you know it! You are here asking for help! You can get out of this and we will help you! So write down the reasons you love him, be honest, you don't have to tell us what you wrote, but you will see that the reasons might not be as logic as you may thought. Keep in mind , simply "loving" him, doesn't count, you really need reasons!

 

Stay strong and keep us posted!!

 

PS: Again, agree with Holly, ask from a professional for help!

[Billie28]

Your bf can't make you feel bad unless you allow him to.

 

One way to stop feeling bad, is to remove yourself from the situation.

 

So leave him. Your family are right to dislike him. Sure, you can sugar coat him, but the reason they dislike him is then fact that despite your sugar coating, they see a disresptful, abusive person that you have just described.

 

He doesn't love you. And that's ok. As long as you stay under his control, you are denying yourself the chance to be with someone who will.

 

Prove to him and everyone else how smart you are by dumping him.