That feeling of everything being a lie?

[Cope]

So i think this may be a vent or more so, a cry for validation "please tell me it wasn't a lie", even though i know you can't help me on that, i'm just feeling down a bit now.

 

So I am doing a bit better and it seems every time i am, i think that everything was a lie, that he was just stringing me along all this time cause i was convenient. I know it wasn't like that, he always initiated contact, heck, the first 5 months he was the one contacting me most of the times. I even didn't message him to see if he will, i needed to know if he really wanted this relationship and every time he never failed to let me down. Only the last couple of months he drifted away, which is understandable, meaning, it happens, specially in LD.

 

So does anyone feel like this? Like it never meant anything?

[Cecilia724]

Yeah, I feel like this as well. My ex blindsided me with our breakup, told me he was still in love with his ex. I had no idea, he only mentioned how his previous ex hurt him and all of his friends hated her, I never imagined that we would suddenly break up due to that. So yeah, now I often wonder if the whole realtionship was a lie. The whole time he was in love with her and lied about it, what other feelings did he lie about to me? Did he ever even care for me?

 

Who knows. I try not to think about it, you end up going in an endless loop of thought and it brings you no solace. And it doesnt matter, because the realtionship is over and now we can move on to better things.

[Wiseman2]

It sounds like there was just a loss of interest over time due to LDR and other factors. Once you wrap your mind around that you won't question whether it was all a lie. It may have been less than you thought or more built up in your mind and what "could be" than it really was.

[limichelle]

Yes or the thought that it was all a dream you woke up from. I constantly feel this with anything that ends! Then I remind myself that if it was a lie then they were caught up in it too, so therefor it couldn't have been a lie. I think the good times are real it's the hard times we lie to ourselves about after the relationship ends!

 

Lisa

[Cope]

Then I remind myself that if it was a lie then they were caught up in it too, so therefor it couldn't have been a lie.

Lisa

 

Thank you so much for this perspective!

 

@wisemen2, yeah probably, i just don't want to think of it that way yet, i mean less or more. I just like to think that he lost interest (and me too a bit) due to distance. I mean, how long can you talk for? Don't get me wrong, i have seen LDs work, but it's probably not for me and definitely not for him.

 

@Cecilia724 Ouch!! Sometimes i wonder if the truth is the best way to go. On one hand it may hurt A LOT now but on the other hand it may be easier for you to move on? But ouch!! For example, my ex may have even moved on already, or even met someone before we broke up (just my assumptions, no proof or anything), i really do not want to find out, but would it make my moving on easier? Maybe. Last time i was dumped, him being an a******e made it tons easier, but i didn't focus on my part. I just said "oh well, he was an a**" and moved on with issues unresolved. I guess everything happens for a reason , either knowing or not knowing, what we can do is make the best of it.

 

Thank you all so much!!

 

ps Honestly limichelle, i love this perspective, thank you so much again!!

[Cecilia724]

Thanks, Cope. And idk if it's better in the long run or not aha. I dont know if he went back to his ex or not, she moved away and dumped him twice so I'm pretty sure if they even got back together it would just fail again, but I think it would be easier not to know which is why I unfriended him on facebook. It hurt my pride to be dumped because he loves her over me, but it speaks to his character more: if he wants to go back to someone who treated him horribly and whom his friends hated then it's a reflection of his own lack of self-worth.

 

I think not knowing is easier, you begin making comparisons and wondering why your ex likes them over you and whats wrong with you and no one needs that. We both deserve better.

[Wiseman2]

Agree that that is much more likely than it all being a lie.

I just like to think that he lost interest (and me too a bit) due to distance. I mean, how long can you talk for?