Feeling lead on?

[photograph11]

Hey guys,

 

So about 5 months ago I met this girl at work. We are both lesbians, in our mid twenties.

 

We got along right off the bat. Started texting each other every few days, in fact she asked me how we should go for coffee sometime and check out an art museum together.

 

She would text me flower emojis, winks, and called me beautiful a few times. She even brought me a pastry at work that I once mentioned that I never tried. Very intense eye contact, sitting closely on break. We would have very intimate conversations.

 

We went for coffee one and one and talked for hours. It felt like a date. Talked about all kinds of things, at the end of it, she gave me a long hug. Later on would text me how much she had a great time and couldn't wait to do it again.

 

Then, we went to a museum together. But here is the ick--she brought her ex girlfriend. She has mentioned that she is just close with her but doesn't want to be with her anymore, and how soon they will cut contact. It was a bit awkward and when her ex went to the washroom, she started asking me what my type of girl was.

 

I was hesitating shyly and finally said "Girls like you are my type"

 

She laughed and said "I see. How is your online dating site going? "

 

I responded with "it's going, talking to some girls" to which she said, "we'll find you a girl tonight" pointing at different girls in the museum. Her ex girlfriend came back then and the evening proceeded.

 

I felt a bit hurt and surprised because it felt like she was interested in me as well. Either I read too much into it, either way I sort of felt lead on. The next day we were working together and yes I was a bit distant, but friendly with her , I was really tired the next day and she starting asking me if I was okay.

 

Any thoughts?

[j.man]

Nothing you've written sounds to me like she led you on. In fact, her bringing the ex along to the museum sounds like a not-so-subtle hint that you two were just hanging out. Also, while as a pretty standard guy I can't really relate to sending flower emojis to friends, I'd imagine that's just how some women are. I do sympathize for non-straight folk as you are still kinda stuck with the the conventional same gender friendships while juggling potential attraction. If you know you can't hang out without developing feelings, then it sounds like you've done the right thing by hanging back while remaining cordial at work.

[photograph11]

I'll rephrase the title, not led on, but I guess I thought she had some romantic interest towards me as well.

 

I guess I felt kind of disappointed. It just feels like I felt we were on the same track.

[tracyis300]

What J.man said.

You just took her friendship as a potential love interest. After hearing that she was also into the same sex? It never crossed your mind that maybe me and this person can just be friends! + the two of you work together, so she just may not want to have any relations with someone from the work place.

It seems that she is concerned to ask how you're feeling, because of the misunderstanding.

But it can all be cleared up by you explaining your intentions for mistaking her gratitude. Otherwise, it will feel awkward at the workplace.

So don't duck this! She still wants to be your friend.

[PICCOLLO]

Some people do go that extra mile towards trying to be friends and often it can be misinterpreted. Bringing her ex out on your excursion is a solid indicator that shes not keen.

[Sportster2005]

It sounds like to me she lead you on, and I can empathize with you for feeling hurt.

 

It kind of doesn't matter now. She's not into you. Maintaining a friendly professional relationship might be your best course of action.