Boyfriend wants to get back

[LanaDelRay16]

My boyfriend of 2 years dumped me a month ago, and claimed that this was to show me how much he actually mattered in my life. It absolutely broke my heart when he started dating another girl. Recently, he's started messaging me a bit and he pretended he wasn't interested and he had a gf. After we started talking more, he said the whole thing was to teach me a lesson about how I should have valued our relationship and that he loved me. I'm confused, hurt, but I'm happy... (kinda) more like relieved.

 

Question: He broke up with her because he claimed that he never loved her and this was just to make me jealous. I don't know if I should get back with him or what I should do. Do you think hes telling the truth or is there more to the story?

[Elektra22]

Please, please examine his actions and not his lame azz excuses. He abandoned you, chose to share his body with someone else all to teach you to value you him more? Here's what he values- himself and his ego. He's shown you that you and your relationship don't matter to him, not the other way around. If anything, this other chick probably had enough of his egomaniacal garbage, dropped his sorry butt, and now he's looking to creep his way back into your life. The only "lesson" he's shown you is that he does not love, care or respect you and is willing to crush you at whim to serve his own selfish needs. His justification for banging someone else is ludicrous and sickening. You deserve and can find someone so much better than this.

[reinventmyself]

Please, please examine his actions and not his lame azz excuses. He abandoned you, chose to share his body with someone else all to teach you to value you him more? Here's what he values- himself and his ego. He's shown you that you and your relationship don't matter to him, not the other way around. If anything, this other chick probably had enough of his egomaniacal garbage, dropped his sorry butt, and now he's looking to creep his way back into your life. The only "lesson" he's shown you is that he does not love, care or respect you and is willing to crush you at whim to serve his own selfish needs. His justification for banging someone else is ludicrous and sickening. You deserve and can find someone so much better than this.

This^^^

Geeez, I was locked and loaded and ready to respond but I don't think I could say it any better than Elektra.

I'm sorry but this guy is a real piece of work.

I hope you teach him a real lesson by changing your number.

[boltnrun]

I bet SHE dumped HIM and now he's having to do without sex. So he's creeping back up on trusty old you so he can get what he wants from you.

 

And what an arrogant ass! "Teaching you a lesson"???

 

And you're "relieved"? Relieved that he deigns to allow you to lick his feet and cater to his every whim until he meets someone else, then dumps you again?

 

Just no.

 

I suspect I'm angrier about the presumptuousness of this guy than you are. Find your anger! I mean, how dare he???

 

And please don't allow him to convince you that YOU are at fault. Don't look for little nit picky things you could have "done better". He's an egomaniac who wants you to be his property and his plaything until he tires of you. Respect yourself enough to tell him to take a flying leap.

[Hollyj]

You're happy!?!? This guy is a creep!

 

He broke up with you, as he wanted to sleep with someone else. You need to wake up!

 

He does not love you or respect you. I cannot believe you are so naive and even talking to someone who treats you like this..

[Elih]

oh please... forget him...I dont even have anything to say...

[mmendes]

Only you can decide if you want him enought to give another try, but even if you choose to do so, don't to it right away. Tell him you have to think and take your time. Have fun, meet other boys... After what he had done, if he loves u for real, he Will have to wait for u.

[mustlovedogs]

This seems like emotional abuse. He breaks your heart to "teach you a lesson" and uses it to sleep around? That sounds SO AWFUL to me.

 

I think that a relationship can be repaired if a rebound shows the person in the rebound what they had - but he did this WITH THE INTENT of hurting you. To "teach you a lesson".

 

I totally understand what it feels like to want back with an ex. I think you should sit down and journal. Have a glass of wine and focus on a few topics:

 

- start writing about how you're feeling. Why you're confused. Etc. stream of consciousness.

- then start writing about your relationship and really think about his actions. Has he been manipulative in the past? What were his failings? What are deal breakers for you?

- and then build yourself up again. What do you like about yourself? (Physical, mental, and personality. All of it). What do you want? And then does this guy deserve you?

 

Be introspective. I think you'll discover your ex has manipulated you in the past. And I promise you, you deserve better than that.

[Raindrop22]

He is mentally not okay. This is textbook manipulation at its finest.

Who in the right mind leaves someone and tells them it's because it's suppose to teach you how much he meant to you?

That is downright the worst thing.

You deserve better then some guy who would do this to you. He broke your heart.

I know you care and love him but

You have for to use your logic on this one.

If he can manipulate you like this and play games, I can only imagine what else he's capable of.