Says shes preg. Dont want signing rights away????

[Love_sucks]

Well there is this girl that I got preg (or so she says) it was a 1 night stand that I regret... and she wont have an abortion nor will she put it up for adoption... I dont want nothing to do with this kid... I want to sign my rights away but she says that I cant do that unless I have her permission... can I sign my rights away and not have to pay child support without her permission? Also she is 17 and I am 18 would I get in trouble for this? Statitory?

[Day_Walker]

If you live in the US then it is going to depend what state you live in. In a few states Neveda for example you do need her permission to sign away your rights as a father. I would look it up on google according to your particular state and you can find out what the exact law is.

 

As far as the statutory rape issue is concerned that is also going to be dependent on the age of concent depending on the state you live. If the age of concent happens to be 18 then her parents could file charges against you.

[avman]

In general you cannot just sign the rights away to your child simply because you don't feel like supporting them. You are held responsible for this child and are obligated to pay child support. That is the consequence you have to accept when you have sex with someone.

 

Be a stand up guy and accept your responsibilities. Pay the child support. Be a part of the childs life. It isn't the child's fault things worked out the way they did. They didn't ask to be born. They have to live with the consequences of their parents actions.

 

Whether the fact that she is 17 is a problem depends on where you are located. The age of consent will enter into consideration and so will the age difference between you two. You'll have to check the laws in your area and see if you need to talk to an attorney.

[SteveNaive]

Hello...

 

Concerning the legal matters I would like to refer to Daywalkers and avman's post. I cannot really say much about law in the states. Should you be in europe "signing away" rights should not be so easy, as in most states you plainly cannot do this and you are held responsible for child support no matter if you want or not. As to the criminal law side, I guess it again depends on where you are and what the age of consent is in the state you live in...

 

However, I would like to say a couple of more things... I do understand that you say it was a one night stand, and above all one that you regret having, even that you do not want to have anything to do with that kid. However, life is not only about what you want, but also about what you do. You might say it was just a silly mistake. Nevertheless, there is a point in your life when you have to take responsibility for your actions, and I'd say at the age of 18 you are old enough to do that. And it's definitely NOT the kid's fault that this happened, if you understand what I am trying to say...

 

Please do remember that there is more behind this than just a financial interest in not having to pay child support...

 

Apart from that...it sounded like the news about the pregnancy are a bit "vague"?! How long ago did the ONS happen? Although I do not want to assume that she is making this up, as I would generally consider a topic like that far too serious...

[Iwanthim]

If you don't want to have kids right now...then you need to play it safe or not have sex bc it takes two to make babies. You need to stand up what you did. Just b/c it's one night stand. You need to be man

[Love_sucks]

I live in Wisconsin

[DN]

I absolutely agree that you should stand up and be a father to your child - to do otherwise is wrong.

 

But it is important to make sure this is in fact your child - this was a one night stand and it is possible she had had a one night stand with others. Insist on a DNA test. If it proves the child is yours take responsibility.

 

And fathering a child is more than paying child support. It is about acting as a parent in every way possible until the child is an adult. Paying child support is only part of responsibility. Ensure you get proper access, visitation etc. and be a positive factor in this child's life.

[Iwanthim]

yes, I agree with the last post. Get DNA test done. If it's your child you do need to stay up and be father. You may not like the mother of your child then that's when you could said no and not open your legs.

 

How would you feel if you found out that one of your parents didnt want nothing to do with you. How would you feel? The child had nothing to do with it. Just was made by two people......

[RayKay]

Anytime you have sex, it does not matter if it is protected or not, you risk pregnancy. No birth control method is 100% safe. So when you choose to have sex, you are also accepting that pregnancy (or something else) is a possibility. Which is why until you are ready to accept that I think people ought to wait.

 

Having said that then, it does not matter if you regret the one night stand. It still happened and (possibly) a child is resulting from this. You were responsible for the act, so you are responsible for the results.

 

I don't think you can just sign away your rights without the mothers approval. So congrats, you are now going to be a father (get a paternity test though to be sure). Now, how about you focus on being a DAD. You are 18 - old enough to stand up for what is right and what is right is being a DAD to this child. That means being there for the child, and the mother during the pregnancy - you do not need to be together with her, but you do need to ensure she has rides to prenatal appointments, help, etc. This means not just sending $ (as she can file for support, even if you don't WANT to be in their life) but sending love - aka BEING there for the child with a physical and emotional presense.

 

Yes this was not planned but part of being a man and growing up is accepting that life does not always do what we WANT it to do, and that we take responsibility for our actions. This child had no choice, you DO.

 

Get a paternity test. I am not sure what can happen with the statuatory rape laws in your location, best to do some research from where you live on that one.

[mt_joy]

I think you need to be a man. If you are ready to have sex, then you should take care of the consequences as well. When the baby is born, get a paternity test and do the right thing. If the baby is yours, pay child support. If not, you're off the hook. It took two people to create a baby. If this baby is yours, don't try to back down. Don't be a loser.

[SkyFire]

You messed up.

 

Now man up and accept the consequences of your actions.

 

Next time wear a rubber.

[tanned_production]

At the time, you thought you were mature enought o have sex , right? I bet you didn't know that the girl would get pregnant. If you're "smart" enough to have a 1 night stand, you should be responsible for the consequences.

 

The child didn't ask for you two to make that mistake... this is in no way the childs fault.

 

So take your responsibility. This girl will need your help.. and the child will need a dad.

 

[DN]

link removed

 

check this site for the law about statutory rape in wisconsin.

[annie24]

wait wait wait..... love_sucks... didn't you put up a post recently saying that you had a one night stand with some girl, but then she got her period, but then she said she was pregnant???

 

Are you sure you're the only one she's been with recently? Don't start freaking out just yet - wait for the DNA test. Also.... wait to see if she's actually EVEN PREGNANT! But, if by some chance you are the dad... like all the others said... time to take responsibility. You never know - it can be a blessing in disguise.

 

Another thing.... I'm no expert in this, and it varies state to state, but some states have laws that make it ok to have sex with a 17 year old, as long as there isn't an 18 month age difference. For example, 17 and an 18 year old having sex is fine. Some states don't want to get an 18 year old high school senior in trouble for having sex with a 17 year old high school senior, for example. But, once again, depends on the state. Obviously, it can get complicated.

[June4life]

Absolutely get a DNA test done. If she had a one night stand with you, she probably has had them with others too, and in that case this baby may not be yours.

 

Annie I think you hit the nail on the head... wait up to see if she is preggy first!! Then start to worry!!!

 

And I do believe she must consent to you giving up your rights as a father....