Ex-Girlfriend Still Contacts Me 3 Years After breakup ??

[MIApac]

About three years ago, I went through a very nasty breakup. My ex-girlfriend was very controlling and domineering and had started to become physically abusive towards me. She had bipolar disorder and was not getting treated because her equally nutty parents were in denial. In the years that followed, I've made of a number of positive changes to my life. I lost 50 lbs., advanced my career and have been on numerous dates. I play in a kickball league and run in Mud Races, two hobbies I discovered when I was still with my ex that she hated that have now become an important part of my life.

 

Since that time, my ex-girlfriend has sporadically attempted to contact me. Usually, she just tries to make jealous about a new job or new guy she was dating. Last summer, she tried to call me to tell me about a new guy she had been seeing but I never answered the phone.(Ironically, I found out that she broke up with him a week later)About a week ago, also ironically as I was on my way to a date, she attempted to call me again and the following day she called me again 4 times. I've heard from friends that she might be attempting to get in touch with me to back together.

 

I want nothing to do with my ex at all be that on a friendship level or to get back together but I might have to talk to her just to tell her to leave me alone. I don't want to tell her anything about what my life has been like since we broke up because that might completely send her off the deep end, even though that's what it might take for her to finally leave me alone. What would you do?

[Butterfly2222]

Block her.

[MIApac]

Block her.

 

I tried that and she still finds a way to contact me. I blocked her phone number on my phone and she just dials *67 and makes her phone number anonymous.

[Helpexpressme]

All you have to say is.....

 

"Hi ____ thanks for calling but I'm no longer interested in talking to you. We have nothing to say". And then just put the phone down.

[Realitynut]

I never answer restricted/anonymous numbers. If I don't know who they are....they can just leave a message.

[Tanzi]

I would continue to ignore her. The moment you speak to her you will opening up a can of worms. Whatever you say will illicit some kind of emotion or response from her. If you continue to ignore her, sooner or later she will give up. However, even negative attention is attention and if she knows that you will eventually talk to her the more she contacts you, she will likely continue. Annoying though they may be, the texts alone aren't harmful to you so I would continue to ignore them. Talking to her could fire her up and spur her on for more.

[ThatwasThen]

I agree with continuing to ignore her. If her leaving voice mails to your phone or random texts from her annoys you (when she gets through from an anonymous number) then have your number changed and then make sure that you let any mutual friends or aquaintances know that you DO NOT want her having the new number.

 

Any attention is what she is after so do not give it to her by calling her to tell her to stop calling you.

[sunnz]

Why can't you just change your number ?

[Sazkaz]

Why can't you just change your number ?

 

I agree with this... Maybe changing your number then you won't have the constant threat of her contacting you hanging over your head. It'll be a hassle at first but well worth it eventually.

 

I have a bipolar friend that I used to be very close to and supportive of. Then she started to get extremely needy and it got to the point one night where I needed some time alone so she walked to my house and was banging on my door and yelling through my letterbox because I'd told her I needed space.

 

Thankfully she's moved away now so no longer in walking distance. We stay in touch but I don't miss her erratic behaviour when she was having an episode.

 

It makes me sound very mean- I'd always be there for a friend if I can but I understand how difficult it can be with some people going through certain issues.