Is it me or him?

[Jupiter22]

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year now and at the start of our relationship we couldn't keep our hands off of each other, having sex at every opportunity. Recently he's moved out of his house and back in wth his mum to save money and I've just moved out from my parents house to a student house. Admittedly I have put on maybe 10 pounds since the start of our relationship so I don't feel as 'sexy' as I used to, but recently I feel that no matter how hard I try, I don't get a response. If I try to kiss him purposefully he just pecks with no real romance.. He stayed in my house 5 nights in a row and we only had sex on the first night and then not again even though I tried.. Is it that he doesn't want me as much or doesn't find me as attractive or am I reading into it too much? Help!

[starlight89]

10pounds isn't a huge amount of weight. Most women go up and down like this all throughout their lives. I usually put on a few pounds in winter and then it naturally falls off leading up to the summer probably because I am more active. I doubt this is the issue.

 

Maybe you should just ask him

[greta96]

I think it's just the natural progression of things. When the relationship is new, passions run high and there's lots of sex. That is not usually sustainable for a long time, so as the relationship progresses, comfort and routine set in and sex is no longer the #1 priority. I don't think it has anything to do with your weight, but if you're worried about it, why not work on losing those extra lbs so that you become more comfortable in your own skin again?

[DoF]

With action, he certainly doesn't want you. Back off and see how much initiation he does. This will tell you his level of interest in you.

 

Truth is, when you start off relationship with early intimacy, you miss important building blocks of a relationship. Think of it as building a roof on the house without foundation.

 

And do NOT ignore this issue, lack of intimacy is a huge deal in any relationship.

 

Def work on yourself and lose those 10 pounds, not for him, for YOU.

[DoF]

I think it's just the natural progression of things. When the relationship is new, passions run high and there's lots of sex. That is not usually sustainable for a long time, so as the relationship progresses, comfort and routine set in and sex is no longer the #1 priority. I don't think it has anything to do with your weight, but if you're worried about it, why not work on losing those extra lbs so that you become more comfortable in your own skin again?

 

Completely disagree.

 

20 years of marriage here. It has not only been sustainable for that amount of time, it's better than ever, more frequent and still top priority. Passion is running higher TODAY than it did at first.

[greta96]

Completely disagree.

 

20 years of marriage here. It has not only been sustainable for that amount of time, it's better than ever, more frequent and still top priority. Passion is running higher TODAY than it did at first.

 

This may be the case for you (and kudos to you!), but it's not true for everybody. We are all so very different, some are more sexual, some less, some not at all. I don't think we can automatically assume that just because the sex has slowed down it means the guy is no longer into her, because it may have nothing to do with his feelings for her.

[Clinton]

Everyone's sex drive is different. After the initial passion stage ends, your real sex drive emerges. Some people like it multiple times a week, some once a month, a few are content with even longer periods between sex.

 

Health problems, fitness levels, mood, depression all come into play to add more variance into how often people want it.

 

There is no hard and fast rule as to how often is right. The problems occur when two people with very different sex drives get together. That usually leads to problems as most times your sex drive is set in stone.

 

Talk to your partner. See if there are psychological problems. If no, a doctors visit to see if its a physical problem.

 

But if none of these, this may be his interest level period.

[itsallgrand]

My first thought is that it may have to do with his living situation. Going from your own house, to back to living with mom, things must be hard for him and that can be a huge mood killer. There is also no where really for him to 'escape' since you live in student housing.