Ex sending go signal after 6 months NC!!

[brokensobad]

Okay to make my story short. My and my ex fiancee broke off the engagement about 7 months ago. She broke it up. She's having GIGs. I walked away in her life like what she said. Start a new job and I met someone at my work place.

 

Now, my ex is sending a go signal with me telling me shes not closing the door for us. I have a gf and we're living together.

 

I never had contact with my ex fiancee not til after 6 months and she found out Im dating someone. I'm so confuse now. I don't know what to do.

 

We both went for dates but no success for her. Anyway, she was the one who first reach out to me after she dumped me.

 

 

Can you please give me some advice? Im so confuse

 

 

ex fiancee been together for 2 years.

current gf 3 months.

[nuttybuddy]

what is GIGs? do u mean jitters?

 

anyway, u should evaluate your feelings real hard. because you could be messing up a good thing with your current gf.

 

getting back together is never a good sign. it's trying to build trust over something that broke. it's not a good thing to do. if i were u, i would move on. don't hurt your current gf over your past. work on your current relationship.

[leseine7]

Do not get back together with your ex - she has already shown you how unstable she is. She wants you back bc you have someone new now and she lost you. As soon as you go back to her, she would most likely lose interest again.

 

That being said, you shouldn't date someone new if you're not over your ex yet. I'm always surprised when people move right into a new relationship after something as serious as what you had. Break up with current girl, be completely honest about what's going on, and take a break from dating and relationships until you're over your ex.

[brokensobad]

what is GIGs?

 

Grass is greener syndrome!

 

Do not get back together with your ex - she has already shown you how unstable she is. She wants you back bc you have someone new now and she lost you. As soon as you go back to her, she would most likely lose interest again.

 

That being said, you shouldn't date someone new if you're not over your ex yet. I'm always surprised when people move right into a new relationship after something as serious as what you had. Break up with current girl, be completely honest about what's going on, and take a break from dating and relationships until you're over your ex.

 

I have feelings with my gf but the time I talk to my ex i also feel something? Thats why Im confuse. Do you think she's just saying that because of jealousy or ego boost? Im scared if I will take her back she will dump me again and will be back to zero.

[nuttybuddy]

i c. well, my response still stands then.

[leseine7]

"I have feelings with my gf but the time I talk to my ex i also feel something? Thats why Im confuse. Do you think she's just saying that because of jealousy or ego boost? Im scared if I will take her back she will dump me again and will be back to zero."

 

She most likely will. And most likely yes, her contact with you is driven by jealousy, needing you to still want her, and a need for ego boost. Regardless, getting back with someone who dumped you because "The Grass is always Greener" is shooting yourself in the foot. She dumped you before because she wsn't as into you as you are/were her, and as soon as the challenge is gone (meaning, as soon as you go back to her), she will lose interest again. More importantly: why would you WANT to be with someone who dumped you to go seek out 'better' options?? You deserve better. Stand up for yourself - it sounds very much like you should be single for awhile to resolve these things.

[DoF]

Yea, my advice is to ignore her and block her. No reply needed, she will get the memo.

 

You are in a relationship now. For you to walk away from current relationship wouldn't be smart at all......it's most likely what she did with you.

 

You do not want her, she will just walk away from you again (chances are). Also, no other guy is interested in her....for a very good reason.

 

 

[sentiententity]

Yeah forget the ex. Nothing but trouble there.

[Crugsta]

Although going back to an ex is a risky thing sometimes it can build a better relationship. I'm not saying to go back to her as it's got to be your choice completely.

 

I also would say don't ruin something good you have with someone for something you don't know the outcome off!!

 

Maybe in the future you will both be single more level headed and may find a way to reconnect but for now I would tell her straight that you are currently happy with someone else and thst you would like to be left alone !!

 

Just because something is finished NOW!! doesn't mean it's always going to be finished !!

[SomeDayIWillKnow]

I'm surprised so many people here just dish out the good ol' "don't go back to your ex" even when OP has given only a small bit of information about his situation. OP, you have to really dig deep in your heart for the answer, only you know your situation best. People have many, many personal reasons to do what they do, like breaking off an engagement. These are hard decisions in life and sometimes we find ourselves in a difficult place to make difficult decisions for our future. And sometimes those decisions turn out wrong. It's not like your ex threw the engagement out the window and then came back a month after. A fair amount of time has passed, and peoples feelings change. She did however break your heart and it is up to you whether you can forgive that. More importantly, you need to look at your old relationship, and see whether you can extrapolate a decent future out of that. Also project your current relationship into the future and really see what it is that you want.

 

Look, it is senseless to have an Us VS Them mentality when it comes to dumpers VS dumpees. For all you know at one point you may find yourself in that situation where you are with one person for a long time and then suddenly wake up and wonder whether you still want to be with that person anymore. Whoa, guess what you're in that situation now with your current gf.

 

My advice is first be careful with advice on here that is so black and white, nothing in life is as such. Maybe she's jealous, maybe she's not. Maybe she realized what she lost. Maybe she just has a lot of time to think. Who are we to make assumptions. Irregardless, you're in a bit of a bind because for you to talk to the ex and find out more would be unfair to your current relationship. You're going to have to find a fair way to be honest about all this. I suggest you think really hard with yourself, meditate on it, but if you're going to start contact with your ex, be fair to your current girlfriend and be open.

 

Its absolute crap when people say she will most likely this and that or dump you once you go back to her. We are not mind readers. Any one of those things could happen, it's a question of whether it's a gamble you're willing to take. Many people have reconciled with their exes and got married and stayed that way for twenty over years. But know this, whatever choice you make be confident that it happens exactly the way it's supposed to. And be at peace with it.

[Clinton]

My advice is to be single for a while to get your head on straight. You started dating your girlfriend a lousy 4 months after you broke up. She's a rebound poor girl.

[kbbcoop77]

You weren't totally honest with your new girlfriend, it's sad for her being used to get over your ex. This is why it's soooo important NOT to rebound. Innocent people get their hearts broken because the proper work and reflection wasn't done before launching ahead with someone new.

[reinventmyself]

IF you do consider reconciling, remember everything that caused the breakdown still exists. You are still both the same people with the same characteristics and unless you are both eager to sit down and forensically dissect what went wrong and come up with a stead fast plan to keep things from derailing again, you are going back to the same dynamic.

 

We, at times miss our ex's. Period. Even if they are bad for us. There is always some quality, whether it's something about them in particular we miss or if it's just having that void they once filled, filled up again.

 

Missing someone and being lonely isn't the best reason to reconcile a relationship that once went bad.

Just something to consider. .

Ex's are ex's for a reason.

[saluk]

"Now, my ex is sending a go signal with me telling me shes not closing the door for us."

 

What is the "go" signal? Not closing the door? What does that mean exactly? Has she had a change of heart, and is sorry that she walked out on you, realizes you are good together and knows why she felt like she had to leave? Has she processed those feelings? Is she ready to get back together right now?

 

No one can tell you what to do, but if I were in such a situation, I would find it really hard to trust her. How she brought it up, the kind of language she used, and her reasons for coming back would be very important to know. If her attitude didn't pass muster I wouldn't go back.

[leseine7]

I'm surprised so many people here just dish out the good ol' "don't go back to your ex" even when OP has given only a small bit of information about his situation. OP, you have to really dig deep in your heart for the answer, only you know your situation best. People have many, many personal reasons to do what they do, like breaking off an engagement. These are hard decisions in life and sometimes we find ourselves in a difficult place to make difficult decisions for our future. And sometimes those decisions turn out wrong. It's not like your ex threw the engagement out the window and then came back a month after. A fair amount of time has passed, and peoples feelings change. She did however break your heart and it is up to you whether you can forgive that. More importantly, you need to look at your old relationship, and see whether you can extrapolate a decent future out of that. Also project your current relationship into the future and really see what it is that you want.

 

Look, it is senseless to have an Us VS Them mentality when it comes to dumpers VS dumpees. For all you know at one point you may find yourself in that situation where you are with one person for a long time and then suddenly wake up and wonder whether you still want to be with that person anymore. Whoa, guess what you're in that situation now with your current gf.

 

My advice is first be careful with advice on here that is so black and white, nothing in life is as such. Maybe she's jealous, maybe she's not. Maybe she realized what she lost. Maybe she just has a lot of time to think. Who are we to make assumptions. Irregardless, you're in a bit of a bind because for you to talk to the ex and find out more would be unfair to your current relationship. You're going to have to find a fair way to be honest about all this. I suggest you think really hard with yourself, meditate on it, but if you're going to start contact with your ex, be fair to your current girlfriend and be open.

 

Its absolute crap when people say she will most likely this and that or dump you once you go back to her. We are not mind readers. Any one of those things could happen, it's a question of whether it's a gamble you're willing to take. Many people have reconciled with their exes and got married and stayed that way for twenty over years. But know this, whatever choice you make be confident that it happens exactly the way it's supposed to. And be at peace with it.

 

This isn't about a dumper or a dumpee. And our advice is of course going to be based on the information provided.

 

His ex broke up with him many months ago because she wanted to see what else was out there.

 

That is all the information anyone needs to know that this is someone who has been reckless with his heart, and it IS ill-advised to return to an ex who has rejected you, and for a prolonged period of time.

[Shane Falco]

You're living with your current girlfriend who you've only dated a few months after being engaged to your ex? I think you need to slow your roll a bit.