Mixed signal from ex! I'm lost please help.

[Holder]

I'll be as short as a can: 1,5 years of relationship, classmates at university, we REALLY shared a lot of love and time. Last half year arguments grew up, the last month we argued three or four times a day. She actually got very depressed everytime we argued, and in november the day after a big fight she decided to break up. She said she loved me but she couldn't bear more. I begged, wrote a letter (which she read), gave her a bracelet (which she accepted) and 3 days later, because of she ignored me by Whatsapp, I started NC. I blocked her in every social network, and I didn't talk to her (still I don't), although she tried to speak to me twice but I shortly answered without looking her.

 

The point is that from the beginning of the month, after one and a half months without meeting (Christmas + exams) I realize that she looks at me a lot! I mean, before Christmas she did it too, but now it's lots of times more. We really make eye contact with each other several times everyday, but she still doesn't speak to me! I decided to unblock her in every social network, waiting for a message which doesn't arrive so far. I saw her timeline in Twitter searching for what the hell is happening in her head. I found that from the middle of January she tweets or "RT" or "Likes" songs about girls who miss their boys (e.g. "I will be" by Avril Lavigne), or messages such as "I'd leave everything, I'g go and hug you", or "I miss you". We carry on sitting together in class (although we don't speak each other), that's why I realize she stares me. I also tweet songs and RT or "Like" some love quotes (I really think she looks my TL).

 

I'm very lost! I don't know if she moved on or regrets leaving me but after breaking my heart doesn't dare to speak to me (I ignore her . If the first is true I can't understand the looks, tweets and songs; but if the second one is true I can't understand why she hasn't told me a "hello" in these 3 months. She is the love of my life, really. I've learned a lot in these 3 months, and I know I won't give up. Today is her birthday, I said a short "Happy Birthday" and she said a sad "Thank you". Of course, she's single, by the way, and hasn't dated other men). I'm very heartbroken but I can get up at morning because of HOPE. This is my bespoken torture chamber, and I need to get out of here. She is my whole life. I think she still loves me, and I haven't said her anything because of both fear and the fact that I think she should be who speak to me first.

 

What do you think it's happening? What does she think? What should I do?

 

I would extremely thank your answers.

 

Thanks.

[adviceplease2]

Im curious to hear answers from others....but honestly, I can tell you I've experienced that/experiencing that. You sit there, analyzing everything, every little detail of a look or a gesture...but you resign yourself to the...she broke up with me, so she should make first contact if she wants to reconcile. I know its difficult, so very difficult to live like that....especially when you see her and feel something is off about her.

 

Why not just ask her for lunch or to get coffee....what's the worst she says, no? If you want it, go after it.

[jimthzz]

Your questions are really for this woman.

 

You have nothing to lose by asking her directly.

 

But something is off, and you know it.

 

You may just have dodged the drama bullet. Maybe it is time to move on and find someone not so melodramatic.

[YouCanDeleteThisAccount]

I think what is happening is you miss her a lot, you are hurt that you two broke up, and you are wishing she would come to you and tell you how sorry she is and how she wants you back. However, she's not doing that, so with what you find out about her indirectly, you read this into what she is doing. If you wanted her to hate you, you could probably go back to everything you've seen so far and found that in it. If you wanted her to not care, you could find that too. As for the staring back and forth, she could just be checking to see if you are looking at her again.

 

If you want to get back together with her, and you think she might be open to it, then be a man, swallow your pride, and go talk to her. Either ask her directly, or start by going out for coffee. It's the only thing that will work; because if she is wishing you were back together, she is waiting for you to make it clear it's ok to pursue that. Instead, you are waiting for her, and in her mind, that isn't what a man does. A man initiates the move. And to encourage that, let me remind you that she's a woman, and women can replace an ex MUCH EASIER than a man can. Your time to turn this all around is limited. So if that's what you want to do, then go do it. If you sit back and wait for her, someone else will take advantage of the void in her life that she would like to fill with affection from someone.

 

But let me also warn you that you are broken up. She may just be curious if she "could" get you back. That doesn't always mean they want you back; instead, it means you still have feelings for them. For me, I've learned (the hard way) that if someone breaks up with me, I walk away for good. I'm not ok with someone changing the terms of my relationship to one where I'm left behind, and if they think I'll show affection after they've discovered they're lonely, I have one last lesson to help them learn. I don't go back to past relationships any more. So, if you start talking to her again, and things seem to be going well, you better be ready for her to decide she has answered her questions, nothing is different, and she's bugging out again.

[fitgirl]

I imagine that she does miss you, just as you miss her. The looks could probably be her having the same questions about you. As for the tweets and such, she probably did those things not thinking you would see them since she was blocked. It's cathartic to get out emotions after a breakup.

 

I think you two gave it a go but, ultimately, were not compatible. I would let it go and stop creeping on her social media profiles.

 

If you must find out what she's feeling, I would just call her up and see if you can talk. Maybe bring up the idea of seeing each other casually. If she's resistant, then leave her with a "I'm maintaining no contact with you to heal myself. If you want to reconcile, you know where to find me."

[adviceplease2]

And here I am telling you to just ask her....and I'm having the same issue.....sitting here thinking that she broke up with me so she needs to contact me first. Except mine is pregnant and broke up with me just over a month ago and we just had the ultrasound to find out the gender, which I of course went to. Felt like a family for those few hours....now we're back to not talking again.

[fitgirl]

Adviceplease, I'm sure there's a fine line between being desperate and completely protecting yourself and not revealing anything. Does your ex know that you want to reconcile? If she does, then she will have to come to you. The OP pretty much cut contact right away so his ex doesn't know how he feels at all.

 

As a side note, my ex and I do a lot of stuff together with our daughter and it "feels" like we're a family. But, I still never want him back. You can enjoy the shared experience that the child brings without having any romantic intentions. It can be fairly unnerving at first!

[Holder]

Thanks all of you for answering.

 

I don't mind to "swallow" my pride. I mean, I don't care my pride whatsoever. If fact, taking the first step is something I debt her: at the beggining of our relationship I ignored her and she stopped me and told me she loved me. So maybe because of that she's now waiting me to tell her something.

 

About if she knows if I want to get back, I'd say she doesn't: the day of the breakup I told her that if someday she wanted to come back, she just had to tell me. But then we stopped talking each other and I haven't told any of our common friend that I'm crazy in love with her (only to my close friends). So nobody has told her I want to get back. I can sometimes tweet some song with a insinuation, or "Like" to a love tweet. Probably she has the same doubs than me.

 

I also think she looks my profile: I tweet a song (e.g.) and after two hours nobody has listened to it (I see the polls). It's clear that after that time my tweet doesn't appear in the TL of anyone. So, the next day I see the polls again and somebody has watch the video of the song. And believe me, I'm the less popular boy you can imagine. Nobody but her can see my profile. (I think).

 

So that's OK. I will get strength from anywhere and speak to her. If I success, I'll be the happiest man all around the world. If don't, the saddest. But I have to do something.

 

Now, the point is: WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO SPEAK WITH WER? I'm very confused, it comes to my mind...

 

-Stop her when we go home at university.

-Text her telling her that I'd like to see her.

-Going to her home and text her "please go down, I'm here"

-The "Pink's method": making an album of photos of us asking her to get back together. (Singer Pink did this to get back with her husband).

-Text her at university " please wait for me I'd like to speak".

-A mix of these

 

What should I do?

 

I'd be extremely grateful for reading your answers.