Do the 'dumpers' have rebound relationships too?

[Andie]

I know the ones who are dumped (sorry, it's such a harsh word) easily get in to rebound relationships, but do the dumpers do the same thing?

 

He started seeing someone before he broke it off with me, so I was wondering could this be a rebound for him? I'm confused as to how rebounds work for dumpers..

 

[link removed HERE to see my original post.. no point in writing the story again..

 

Thank you for any input..

[qt]

erm, i think that anyone can get into rebound relationships after a break up. in my case, which is for from the norm-totally far away, he finsihed with me and got into a rebound relationship and im not seeing anyone. thing is we're seeing each other again now..well kinda-like i said, complictated.

 

qt xxxx

[jazn84]

I got dumped by my GF of 4years and she immedietly is goin out with her new roomate (originally just a friend) and work with him now too. I hope they are a rebound because they have rushed everything and see eachother 24 7.

[brando]

I think it can happen as well. Especially if it is a grass is greener situation. I dont care how emotionally removed a dumper feels they are, they too have to mourn the end of a elationship, and if they jump into a new one straight away chances r that relationship will end as well. Not sure of a timeline, but their r no shortcuts in life. Each one of us has to deal with our demons at some point because they never go away. In fact from what ive learned, our demons are most likely to appear in a relationship. It has to do with a feeling of security and love in order to have them healed. I believe this is on a subconscious level.

[RayKay]

Of course they can - sometimes they are dumping to get INTO another relationship, or they decided to start one before they even bothered ending the one.

 

So yes, both can equally get into rebounds. Of course, not every rebound bounces back either, so it usually best to not worry whether or not it is a rebound and just work on healing yourself and moving on so YOU can at least be ready for another person in your life at some point down the road.

 

I think a lot of people worry about whether the new person will last or not....just go with that they "will" and it is much "better" for the healing process in the long run. Not saying it makes it "easier" but does help make things more FINAL.

[Andie]

Of course, not every rebound bounces back either,

What does that mean? "not every rebound bounces back"

[chai714]

I know the ones who are dumped (sorry, it's such a harsh word) easily get in to rebound relationships, but do the dumpers do the same thing?

 

He started seeing someone before he broke it off with me, so I was wondering could this be a rebound for him? I'm confused as to how rebounds work for dumpers..

 

You can never classify one as all, or stereotype people as it's more commonly known as. Yes, dumpers can have rebounds, just like some houses are painted white. Does that mean all dumpers have rebound relationships? Are all houses painted white?

 

I was once in the steps of your boyfriend. I was once seeing a girl, but had another one "in the works" when I finally decided to break it off with her. This did not make her a rebound though. In fact, it lasted 2 years. Does that mean she was a rebound? No. I was looking for greener grass, and it was indeed greener.

 

A rebound relationship typically occurs to the person who is more insecure with themselves. thereforeeee, they "cling" on to the first thing to offer them some "comfort." The dumpees mind is in a state of desperation - and their thought process is often blurred and illogical for a while, until they can sort through what just happened to them. This is when they realize that their "rebound" is not the right person for them, and it often times does not work out. This is just a short summary on my theory of how a rebound relationship comes about and why they often do not last. Hope you got some insight out of this.

[RayKay]

Of course, not every rebound bounces back either,

What does that mean? "not every rebound bounces back"

 

Rebounds are usually thought of as short term doomed relationships.

 

Some of them turn into very real ones. Sometimes they have really found love.

[Andie]

A rebound relationship typically occurs to the person who is more insecure with themselves. thereforeeee, they "cling" on to the first thing to offer them some "comfort."

That's why I wondered if this was a rebound for him.. he's been insecure his whole life (very DEEPLY insecure) and is just getting some self esteem now.. at age 32, I'm the only woman he's ever been with.. with his 'new look', it would seem he is definitely testing the waters of the female world, and I could imagine him hooking up with the first reasonable attractive woman who showed interest in him (he always said not much turned him off.. what that says about me I don't know )

[emma16]

I am not really sure it depends on the person.

 

My es was left by his grlfriend of five years they were engaged she just recently got married last saturday. He dated one girl between her and me. We jumped into things had alot of fun together and then things got very complicated when he took this new job.

 

The boss 18yr old high school daughter had a crush on him and her parentes wanted to set them up while we were still dating. I figured it out for myself but was not told about it until the day he broke up with me.

 

I am unclear as towhat is giong on between them two I hear things beucase my cousins work with him and you hear things from everyone and we both fight everyday since we broke up about these things and I am not sure as to why.

 

Part of it is I found out I am pregnant and my ex and I took the pregnancy test together so that was alright. first he says he wants to try and work things out then he doesn't then he wants me to back off then the entire situation is a big mess. I believe he is running scared and realtity to the fact that I am pregnant has not set in we have not actually seen each other in a month. I am showing now and I think if he would see that it might start to click.

 

It is hard though becuase he is friend with the boss and has the bosses friends that would like to see these two together. He has already lost one friend beucase of this. I asked him not even about getting back together but if he feels we could ever be friend and he says I don't know

What is that suppose to mean? I am carrying his baby.

 

to me he is using going over there watching movies hang out at the bar with her parents and her as away of not dealing with whats at hand and the feeling about the entire situation.

 

I'm thinking him and I have to stop talking for awhile so this can set in and he can sort his feelings out beucase we are both being mean to each other and I am not sure why?

 

He knows I am not going to date anyone while I am pregnant so its like I'm on a string but I need the comfort for what I am going through and I ahve thought about dating myself however who wants to date a pregnant girl.

 

What he is diong right now to me seems like away to avoid this pregnancy and how he feels about everything. He makes it points to tell me hes not dating her and sleeping with her i really don't know if I buy that He is 22 I am 25. I believe he is not ready to grow up.

 

To me he is using them to avoid the current situation at hand and as a way to not think about what it is he feels. Rebound or not he has to deal with it sooner or later adn I feel if we don't talk he will start to wonder and may for once ask how the baby is doing or how I am feeling.

[herewegoagain]

Well, as Raykay said, you should not worry about whether your ex's new relationship will last or not. You MUST NOT wait for them to break up. That will hinder your healing.

 

My ex dumped me back in August, and got engaged at Christmas. Only 5 months after she dumped me!!!

 

Yes, I had the hopes that they would break up and she would call me someday, but obviously, that will not happen. they plan to get married in September.

 

when she first broke up with me, I figured that it wouldn't last with her new man, but obviously it will!!!

 

To be honest, I was still hoping (after 5 months) that she would break up with her new man. Only when I found out through a friend that she was engaged, I truly and finally realized that she will never come back to me. But I should have accepeted that it was truly over before i found out about her being engaged!!!

 

I almost feel sorry for my ex because she has NEVER been without a man, and I know she would not have dumped me if she was not interested in some one else. She cannot be alone, but I hope thinigs work out for her.

 

But again - MOVE ON - and worry about yourself. DO NOT expect your ex to come back to you.