Am I a fool?

[HelpAware]

I started talking to a girl and we hit it off straight away. We began talking as if we were together, everything got stressful, it was too much.

 

We stopped speaking for a bit, to which she proposed we could be together in the future and whatnot.

 

Time passed. We started speaking again. She is very up and down. She changes her mind often.

 

My friends said I should let it all go. I still care a lot. Whenever we speak it is ALWAYS on her terms. I hate feeling like it's always up to her.

I bought her a present to let her know I was thinking about her. She liked it and said I had made her day special. That is what I had wanted! She seemed happy, and I was also pleased that it went down well.

 

Fast forward another month, we were speaking but mid conversation, when I started to talk about myself she stopped replying. This is what she does and I don't understand WHY. It is so upsetting for me because I have done so much for her, I am always there for her and she knows I care.

 

Maybe she sees that I care too much so she plays games with me but it upsets me beyond belief.

 

What do I do because I am really upset about this?

[Pixels]

Don't let someone else have such an impact on your emotions...

 

It's a tough lesson, but it's worth learning...

 

You care a lot, and that's awesome, but you recognize the imbalance already...

 

She says one thing, it throws you askew... You stay... You're the counterweight to her own insecurities.

 

That consideration will never be returned in full.

 

There's nothing inherently wrong with you... In some cases this is a boon that most men never learn...

 

Hard to say, but honestly I'd just take it as it comes.

[reinventmyself]

Remember that in the beginning people are typically on their very best behavior.

She is riddled with mixed messages and doing this push/pull thing. Red flags!

 

If this is her best, what would her worst look like?

 

When someone is into you, you know it. You don't question it and certainly shouldn't chase anyone for it.

 

so she plays games with me

Always, always let this be your queue when to cut things loose and walk away.

[melancholy123]

She sounds rather rude, to me.

[crazylove35]

What are the reasons for her behavior? Why does she ignores you and do all those strange things? Have you tried to disccuss it with her?

First of all, you should find the true reasons. Maybe she doesn't have enough attention from you? Maybe she is unhappy being with you?

You also should make up your mind on your further actions. You can either leave this unpredictable girl or change your behaviour to satisfy her.

[catfeeder]

What are the reasons for her behavior? Why does she ignores you and do all those strange things? Have you tried to disccuss it with her?

First of all, you should find the true reasons. Maybe she doesn't have enough attention from you? Maybe she is unhappy being with you?

You also should make up your mind on your further actions. You can either leave this unpredictable girl or change your behaviour to satisfy her.

 

I disagree. When someone mistreats you, walk away. Leave it up to them to decide whether they want to recognize their mistreatment and apologize, but take yourself out of that sphere. And, no, it is not wise to try to pry the reasons for mistreatment out of a grown adult who is fully capable of making cognizant choices. It's also not your responsibility to play therapist.

 

With millions of people in the world to date, recognize mistreatment at face value for exactly what it is. Buying gifts and catering to it is doormat territory, and nobody respects that.

 

Head high, and walk on. We've all formed crushes on the wrong people at one point or another, and it doesn't make you a fool. What you choose to do in the face of rude disrespectful behavior is what determines how foolish you are, and that's within your control.