thanks

[zebragirl]

I just wanted to say thanks to those who helped me on my journey last year. I was struggling in my marriage, unhappy, depressed and pretty miserable. I had tried to fix things. I started going to counseling by myself. I talked to a few people on here who made an impact on me and helped me process my situation. I came out of a really conservative upbringing, married young to a man 10 years older than myself.. I had no idea what was "normal" . I just knew things weren't right at all with us. Last June I realized I would be leaving him. I didn't know how or when but I knew with a peace and calmness that we wouldn't be together forever. In August I had a conversation with him that ended with me telling him I was really just "done". I didn't want to work on things anymore. I filed for divorce September 24th. I told him I wanted separated/divorced at the end of August. He didn't accept that and tried to get me to change my mind but i knew it wouldn't change how things were. I moved out in october with our daughter . I've been dating an incredible man who I have amazing chemistry with. I never knew a sex life could be so wonderful. I thought sex was just something I wasn't good at or I wasn't even capable of having chemistry with someone. my ex, we were married 11 years and only ever had sex about 5 times a year at the most. Now I know there was nothing wrong with me at all. I am completely capable of loving and being loved.

Besides the chemistry, it is pretty awesome to be with someone who doesn't try to control everything that happens. Someone who took me on a vacation and we had the most relaxed time of my life. Vacations were so stressful with my ex having to plan out ever detail and so much work. I'm learning so much about myself and what I am capable of. Everytime we spend time together I feel calm and happy, not anxious or uptight like I did with my ex. life DOES have good things and there is much to look forward to. I remember asking someone I met on here if he thought it was truely possible to find that chemistry/spark AND have a great emotional connection with someone. I don't know how or why it happened the way it did but I am so happy I met that person. It is possible to have a that connection with someone. Sometimes you try and try and try to fix something and you just have to be ok with the fact that maybe you can't fix it. There is a brighter tomorrow. And I really feel grateful for those of you who helped me see through that horrible fog of confusion last year and helped me see that things could be better.

[Lester]

Someone here told you to file, move out, find someone within days/weeks and immediately begin a full blown sexual relationship him?

[zebragirl]

Someone here told you to file, move out, find someone within days/weeks and immediately begin a full blown sexual relationship him?

Did you even read my post ? I said I wanted to thank those that helped me on my journey last year . I struggled with a lot , went to counseling , etc . If I recall correctly you were someone that always misread my posts.

[Ms Darcy]

I remember you struggled with the decision to move on from your husband. So, I congratulate you for having the courage to really think through this decision and follow-through at the appropriate time for you.

 

I think that no matter what happens with this new relationship, whether rebound or no, it is clearly an experience that is helping you feel like you are a sexual being.

 

I would encourage you to consider counseling and to try not to get too caught up with the new guy. I wish you and your daughter the best.

[nuttybuddy]

 

 

=D>=D>=D>

 

Bravo! congrats on finding happiness. i hope this lasts for you.

[kbbcoop77]

This seems really fast from when you told your husband to when you moved out and now in a full blown sexual relationship with vacations etc...were you seeing this guy before you dropped the hammer on your husband or had him in your sites? I assume you have already introduced him to your daughter?

[zebragirl]

I was married for 11 years to a man who had to control every little thing and who had very little sexual interest in me. I lived my life for him but it was never enough. Yes my new relationship is soon after leaving my ex but it is right for me. I was basically living in a sexless marriage with a "roommate" for several years and emotionally was ready to meet someone. Everyone is going to have their own opinion, but I didnt' come back to ask for advice this time. I have been in counseling.

[Alexandra Jh]

I really happy for you! Congrats!!