Do guys ever get over their first love?

[waterlilly102]

I've been dating my boyfriend for 9 months now. He is my first love. In the beginning of our relationship (even on the first date) he would bring up his ex. Saying how she was childish, and how she'd mistreat him, etc. he would sometimes compare me to her. His ex was very close with his family, and they even check up on her on Facebook to see what she's up to! This went on for a little over 5 months into the relationship. Then I had a big talk with him about it, because I thought he was not over her. He broke up with her, but wanted to get back together with her later on. But by then it was too late, she had already moved on.

He said he was over her, but did admit to wanting to make her jealous. He wanted her to see in person how happy we are together. This made me very upset because if you're over a person, you shouldn't want them to be jealous. Anyway, after our talk he never really brought her up again, only on rare occasions. But I just can't shake off this nagging feeling that he will never get over her, and will always have some kind of feelings for her. I think in the beginning, he was just using me to get over her, but then developed feelings for me.

It makes me feel very sad that he still probably has feelings for her even after 3 years since they were together. I don't really know what to do.

[mhowe]

He is just immature and couldn't handle being dumped.

 

You can't do anything.

 

Most men get over their first loves. Your "boy" needs to grow up.

[Clinton]

Yes, we get over our first loves. I can honestly barely remember what she looked like any more.

 

Love and heart break don't last forever.

[ParisPaulette]

Most definitely. BUT if they complain or laud their first love alike they are not over them and should not be with you. And you should go look for someone who only sees you.

 

You don't stay obsessing over a first car or a first job, so why do it over a first love. In all honestly your guy should not have raced out to grab you and involve you in his twisted revenge plot against his ex. Telling you he wants her to get jealous is basically him telling you that he sees you as a means to an end to be used. I'm sorry, but that's not the first love you should be having.

 

Yes, I am telling you to tell the guy to grow up, get over her, and you both and learn to hold off involving another woman until he's over it. Then you break up with him and go. You should be all he sees or thinks about, not her. You deserve more.

[overthemoon86]

Of course they do, but this guy isn't at that stage yet. He is still hung up on his ex which is not fair to you.

[Pbsoa23]

People have a hard time letting go of the past and forget to focus on the now. It Delends on the person you are with or who you meet. I think for women and men in general carrying and holding onto the past is common. But it is better to be with and meet people who do not carry the past and hold on to things they can it change.