Darksoul26 Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 I know no one has a crystal ball for tips but I'm just curious if anyone has any tips. I'm 25 almost 26 F I have tried online dating it was full of guys who just wanted sex or who would ghost me I play sports on a coed team I go out all the time I'm friendly and outgoing and yet ive been single for 2 years. I feel like I've tried everything and yet I still am single and feel like I'm going to never have a relationship again and be alone forever. I have had a few guys interested but I don't feel the same way and when I try to think about being them I get anxiety Link to comment
Feast Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 You are so young, stop worrying. Keep putting yourself out there but have fun while your doing it! You got time. If your laughing and smiling and enjoying yourself, it'll work much easier. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 That's great that you're involved in sports- have you asked any of them if they know anyone to set you up with? Link to comment
HLnoelle Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Agree, most important thing I would say is to stop worrying and stressing over it. I know easier said than done. But maybe you need to change your perspective. In my view, if you are seemingly desperate to be in a relationship you are wanting one for the wrong reasons. I don't mean offense by that, I've experienced the fear of ending up alone and wanting desperately to find someone else. But it made me realize first, that's a really irrational fear. And even when I pictured the worst possible scenario to me (being alone), it actually wasn't so terrible as I was making it out to be. What's wrong with being alone? Are you worried about the stigma of it? Wanting to be married for the sake of appearances, and not ending up alone is the wrong way to live life in my opinion. Try to take things day by day. I'm sure even you know that though you may be going through a rough patch, you will meet someone again who is compatible with you. And possibly many more. As long as you are living and enjoying life who cares if you end up getting married? Try to relax and put things into perspective. Seriously I encourage you to visualize the worst possible scenario. Link to comment
Dottieflanogon Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 You're only 26,I wouldn't worry about it.Love will always find you when you least expect it.Part of dating is doing it live, making those mistakes, and ultimately finding that person who's idea of what a relationship should be matches yours .Give it time Link to comment
thejigsup Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 You're just a baby! You shouldn't be any kind of worried about that kind of stuff. Just enjoy your single life while it lasts. These are golden years you will miss when you are older. Link to comment
Man with Dog Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 OK, I know how you feel because I spent long periods of my "dating" years single. Whatever I or other people here tell you, your instinct is to pair off with someone. Unfortunately, not all people who pair off live happily ever after. I would look at the rest of your life. Socially, it sounds good but how do you feel about work/career and interests? Even a great marriage won't compensate for other deficiencies in your life. Trust me, I've been there. As for dating, even as a bloke, I would be turned off by girls just wanting sex. In my opinion, there should be sites for casual hook-ups and others for those who wish for something more lasting but plenty of men (and some women) will lure people into bed with the idea that they are looking for something more than a hook-up. This will happen irrespective of how people meet. I've known rather attractive people of both genders who have gone a long time without a relationship, so it's no reflection on you. I think dating sites aren't the whole answer but reduce the odds a bit. How open are you to dating outside your "normal" demographic? Would you date someone more than 5 years younger or 10/15 years older? Could you date outside your race/nationality? Could you consider someone with a different level of education/social class? On the last one, from my own experience, it's a bit of a red flag and would err on the side of caution. In my case, if I'd stuck to my own demographic I'd still be single in my late 50s. My wife is 10 years younger and comes from another race. Link to comment
Andrina Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Try meetups.com Put in your geographic location and a lot of activities should pop up in your area, if you don't live in a podunk town. Some are open to everyone. Some are geared toward singles in certain age groups. It's less stressful than online dating. It's just another area to meet more men than you would've otherwise. Link to comment
NobleWolf Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Hey Darksoul26, I'm going to be honest with you as much as I can, so I can help you out. Don't take it personal in anyway but at your age you should have already been in a relationship now and you could have been getting married soon, so I don't think advice like "You're too young, nothing is wrong" going to help you, maybe it will make you feel better and make you feel like a normal person but that's not going to help you, keep that in mind, if now you're putting a half effort to get in a relationship then such advice will get that half disappear. I seen that many members here join the "dating websites", I doubt that's going to get you in a good relationship, I strongly believe that you have more chance out there than sitting behind your screen. The question is, are you getting some chances to date boys and you're not finding the perfect one, or it's being a while that a person from the other gender wanted to know you better or date you ? no matter what your answer is, your answer is below. "Choose is always difficult, but don't have choices is worse" You gotta ask yourself if you really want a man in your life, I know a lot of females at your age without any partner in their lives, I asked them why, they said because it's not something we can control, we decline boys without feeling that we're doing it because simply we're not made to live with someone else. I don't support you to put yourself in this group but you gave as a lack of information and I really don't know what really is going on with you in that two years of being single. The best way is, expose yourself to the world to the men for more possibilities, staying in that whole trying to find a man via internet, isn't really a good choice. Wish you the best, NobleWolf. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 LOL dating someone you meet through a web site is not "sitting behind a screen" -it's using a site as a way to make a first contact and meeting in person ASAP. Otherwise it's online dating which is not really dating. I had friends who married in their 20s, 30s and like me, 40s. Several met their husbands through on line sites. Link to comment
Man with Dog Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 OK, so quite how does anyone go about finding a partner? Usually just being in the right place at the right time. Searching via the net isn't such a bad idea. Link to comment
Andrina Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Hey Darksoul26, I'm going to be honest with you as much as I can, so I can help you out. Don't take it personal in anyway but at your age you should have already been in a relationship now and you could have been getting married soon, so I don't think advice like "You're too young, nothing is wrong" going to help you, maybe it will make you feel better and make you feel like a normal person but that's not going to help you, keep that in mind, if now you're putting a half effort to get in a relationship then such advice will get that half disappear. I seen that many members here join the "dating websites", I doubt that's going to get you in a good relationship, I strongly believe that you have more chance out there than sitting behind your screen. The question is, are you getting some chances to date boys and you're not finding the perfect one, or it's being a while that a person from the other gender wanted to know you better or date you ? no matter what your answer is, your answer is below. "Choose is always difficult, but don't have choices is worse" You gotta ask yourself if you really want a man in your life, I know a lot of females at your age without any partner in their lives, I asked them why, they said because it's not something we can control, we decline boys without feeling that we're doing it because simply we're not made to live with someone else. I don't support you to put yourself in this group but you gave as a lack of information and I really don't know what really is going on with you in that two years of being single. The best way is, expose yourself to the world to the men for more possibilities, staying in that whole trying to find a man via internet, isn't really a good choice. Wish you the best, NobleWolf. That advice is totally off the mark. For one thing, before age 25, one doesn't even know themselves well enough yet and people usually don't have enough life experience to know who a good lifetime partner is. If one finds a great lifetime partner during their youth, I'm betting it's due to luck and not they they knew any better at the time. I know I married at 21 and it was a huge mistake which ended in divorce, and have many friends and relatives who realized they entered into marriages too young. To berate her for not finding "the one" yet is ridiculous. And online dating is not for the feint of heart, but it is a supplemental way of meeting more men than one would in daily life. I, in fact, met my second husband in online dating. We've been together, happily, for 6 years. Criticizing before giving no relevant advice will be met with deaf ears. She asked for ideas for meeting a goal. That's called being proactive. Link to comment
Man with Dog Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 That advice is totally off the mark. For one thing, before age 25, one doesn't even know themselves well enough yet and people usually don't have enough life experience to know who a good lifetime partner is. If one finds a great lifetime partner during their youth, I'm betting it's due to luck and not they they knew any better at the time. I know I married at 21 and it was a huge mistake which ended in divorce, and have many friends and relatives who realized they entered into marriages too young. To berate her for not finding "the one" yet is ridiculous. And online dating is not for the feint of heart, but it is a supplemental way of meeting more men than one would in daily life. I, in fact, met my second husband in online dating. We've been together, happily, for 6 years. Criticizing before giving no relevant advice will be met with deaf ears. She asked for ideas for meeting a goal. That's called being proactive. OK, much of this is dependent on culture which, as I see from the UK, varies very much between states. I think it is statistically true that most people move in or marry their first partner in their early 20s worldwide. City dwellers tend to settle down later, possibly because there is more potential choice of partners than in a small town. This is true in the UK as well as USA. I married too young at 25 not because 25 is too young for most people but because it was too young for me at the time. I led a sheltered life and was immature. My marriage could have worked if my (then) wife wanted it to work as much as I did. Yet, at the time - early 80s - I married somewhat later than average at the time. I think it is not so much a question of the right age to marry as the right person. I think if you get with the right person too early, it can still work out and, in any case is 1 000 times better than marrying the wrong person at the right age. Link to comment
TMifune Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 I think where children are the goal there are arguments that can be made in favor of marrying young. I don't think those are really relevant to OP. OP feels bad about herself because she hasn't found "the one" yet and she's turning 26 soon. Telling her she should feel bad isn't really tough love, it's just kinda mean. OP, You describe "anxiety" when you think about dating the guys who have expressed interest in you. Is that because there's something fundamentally wrong with those guys, or do you think there's part of you that actually doesn't want to date because then you can't get hurt? Where is the anxiety with these guys coming from? Link to comment
Darksoul26 Posted November 25, 2015 Author Share Posted November 25, 2015 Hey Darksoul26, I'm going to be honest with you as much as I can, so I can help you out. Don't take it personal in anyway but at your age you should have already been in a relationship now and you could have been getting married soon, so I don't think advice like "You're too young, nothing is wrong" going to help you, maybe it will make you feel better and make you feel like a normal person but that's not going to help you, keep that in mind, if now you're putting a half effort to get in a relationship then such advice will get that half disappear. I seen that many members here join the "dating websites", I doubt that's going to get you in a good relationship, I strongly believe that you have more chance out there than sitting behind your screen. The question is, are you getting some chances to date boys and you're not finding the perfect one, or it's being a while that a person from the other gender wanted to know you better or date you ? no matter what your answer is, your answer is below. "Choose is always difficult, but don't have choices is worse" You gotta ask yourself if you really want a man in your life, I know a lot of females at your age without any partner in their lives, I asked them why, they said because it's not something we can control, we decline boys without feeling that we're doing it because simply we're not made to live with someone else. I don't support you to put yourself in this group but you gave as a lack of information and I really don't know what really is going on with you in that two years of being single. The best way is, expose yourself to the world to the men for more possibilities, staying in that whole trying to find a man via internet, isn't really a good choice. Wish you the best, NobleWolf. I definately have gotten chances to meet guys. I either am not interested in them or they just want sex. So that's why I feel discouraged. I also have had previous Long term relationships before one was three years but I left because he called me a fat worthless . So it's not like I've never had a LTR before if that's what your asking ? But ya, I do meet guys, just never the right ones and it's quite discouraging Link to comment
Darksoul26 Posted November 25, 2015 Author Share Posted November 25, 2015 Probably a bit of both! Link to comment
Darksoul26 Posted November 25, 2015 Author Share Posted November 25, 2015 Thank you! I agree. Anyways. I appreciate your suggestion about meetup.Com. I have been looking to try it but am kind of nervous Link to comment
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