What type of relationship is this?

[Blue_Skirt]

He is from America and I live in Europe.

He came to visit me in my city, but I paid for the flight because he had no money and said he would pay me back later.

Once he was back, he kept texting and one point asked me if I wanted to come over. I had actually already planned a trip to America for other reasons. But, in the meanwhile, he told me that didn't like the way I dressed when he visited me.

(he was sharing the appartment with a girl friend he has slept with in the past).

The next day, we rented a car which I paid for because he had no money and while picking it up, he asked me if I minded his mother joined us for our two day road trip.

While doing this, he told me he liked me but thought I was weird, as in I am naive, and giggle for nothing and stuff that isn't funny sometimes.

The next few texts were not overly.positive. once I got back, the exchanges weren't so good either as in texts were short.

We.kept talking about buying the car. I wired him money to buy it,

Then I found out he was going to Europe for some friends 25th wesding anniversary and would stay for a week. I asked if he would visit me and he said he might not be able to this time around.

He talked about trying to visit me, but all optioms I suggested were turned down: either because it was too expensive, or because the dates didn't work... FYI he was an hour flight away.

He sent me messages saying he wants to see me, but that he has no money right now

that he brought his mum and nephew along to test me

 

What do you all think? I believe he is honest, and am willing to wait for him.

 

Seriously??? Did he ever pay you back that flight you paid him, because he constantly seems to be out of money.

[mhowe]

For some reason a part of me believes him and trusts him when he says he wants to make money, to be in a position to then spend time with me with no pressure and have money to do stuff with me, and trusts him when he says he really likes me, and always loves talking to me.

 

Well, I want to believe that chocolate has no calories....but wishing doesn't change reality.

This isn't a relationship. This is you paying to see him or be with him and him using you for money and sex. Kinda like.a male prositute. You pay his ways and buy him gifts and give him blow jobs,...and he brings his family on dates.

 

Wait....a prostitute wouldn't mock you and belittle you. Hmmmm...I guess he is just taking you for a ride. Notice he had the money for his visit to Europe but not to see you.

[Blue_Skirt]

Notice he had the money for his visit to Europe but not to see you.

He found another girl that was willing to pay his ticket to Europe…….

[mhowe]

He found another girl that was willing to pay his ticket to Europe…….

 

I wonder if his mom or nephew went with him?

[mhowe]

Actually, my favorite part of the story was how she lost the piece of paper with the address of her friend she was supposed to be staying with and who wasn't even mentioned for the rest of her visit.

[Blue_Skirt]

Actually, my favorite part of the story was how she lost the piece of paper with the address of her friend she was supposed to be staying with and who wasn't even mentioned for the rest of her visit.

Yes, that was funny. Either troll or someone who was bored and trying to be a writer.

[Blue_Skirt]

I wonder if his mom or nephew went with him?

Auntie Betty this time, the very young sister of his Dad.

[blackgnat]

You say he likes you, but didn't he also tell you that he thinks you're weird and giggle inappropriately? And he didn't like the way you dressed when you visited him?

 

Can't make time to see you, texts are shorter, full of empty promises of future visits, you act like a taxi service for his relatives when it's YOUR holiday, give him blowjobs when he's acting completely disrespectfully to you (at an ex lover's house, no less!), make a HUGE investment in a car-that I'm sure he didn't buy, or you have no proof of that, or YOUR ownership of it.

 

Sorry about the huge run on sentence, but it's a long list and I haven't even covered all the points!

 

How is it that you are able to make these trips to the USA? What kind of time and money do you have that would allow you the time and extra money, no doubt, to restore the car together and then sell it? You live thousands of miles apart from each other! How did you lose your friend's address in the USA? If I were making a journey of that length, I'd make DAMN sure that I knew where I was staying!

 

PLEASE!!!!! Flush this user. He's a conman. You're not even getting sex-HE is! He knows he is on to a sure thing with you. Have you ever even challenged him on any of his shady behavior?

 

Anyway, the point is to just STOP. Stop all contact. No more money, either. He is a TOTAL scammer. Abdicate your role as his doormat and move on to better, more honorable men.

[Tanzi]

Actually, my favorite part of the story was how she lost the piece of paper with the address of her friend she was supposed to be staying with and who wasn't even mentioned for the rest of her visit.

 

I must admit, I thought that was rather odd. Would you really travel all that way without making sure you knew 100% where you were going or how you were getting there?

 

Either a troll or the OP was really on a fools errand as regards this guy and the "friend" she was supposed to be staying with didn't really exist or feature very heavily in her plans.

[Tanzi]

Another thing I would like to add is that if this guy really liked you, he would also respect you ... and if he respected you he would not take money from you and if he had half a decent bone in his body he would not expect you to pay for his flights or buy him a car!!!! Even if you were literally throwing money at him he would refuse on the grounds that it was just not the decent think to do ... especially when you barely know each other. If there was something more substantial between you then it might be a different matter but under these circumstances red flags should be waving everywhere.

[Ladylady]

I am not a troll. Just somebody with very little experience who wants to find love amd thought talking about my situation with others on this forum would help.

[Tanzi]

I am not a troll. Just somebody with very little experience who wants to find love amd thought talking about my situation with others on this forum would help.

 

And has it? Aside from the troll comments has any of the responses resonated with you?

[Blue_Skirt]

I am not a troll. Just somebody with very little experience who wants to find love amd thought talking about my situation with others on this forum would help.

 

Sure, we have given our comments and we had some questions, to be able to help you further, but then you did not come back.

 

but I paid for the flight because he had no money and said he would pay me back later.

So did he ever gave you the money back?

 

because I had lost my friends address where I was meant to stay

Did you ever meet up with your friend when you were in the US? I did not understand how you could lose the address of your friend.

[Ladylady]

I haven't gotten the money back.

We have the car and have found some to sell it to, and I should have that money back within next 10 days.

He called me this evening to tell me about his day, ask me about mine and said he was planning to visit me either next month or January.

My friend ended up telling me she was too busy to accomodate me and spend time with me on the day I arrived. Too much work apparently, and I did indeed lose her address which isn't usually my case.

[mhowe]

You didn't see her at all according to your first post. You went out of town on a bus trip.

 

And now.he has miraculously called, bought the car, is ready to flip it AND co.e visit you soon with the money! What an amazing turn around. You must be so happy.

[Hollyj]

You didn't see her at all according to your first post. You went out of town on a bus trip.

 

And now.he has miraculously called, bought the car, is ready to flip it AND co.e visit you soon with the money! What an amazing turn around. You must be so happy.

 

A lot can happen in a day.

[Ladylady]

I was in contact with my friend over whatsapp the whole time.

I believe he is genuine: he shares photos with me of what he does, and we talked for almost an hour.

He is going back to work tomorrow.

[Hollyj]

I was in contact with my friend over whatsapp the whole time.

I believe he is genuine: he shares photos with me of what he does, and we talked for almost an hour.

He is going back to work tomorrow.

 

Then why did you come on here?

 

If you were in contact with her, then why didn't you ask for her address?

[mhowe]

OMG....he got a job too! What a bonus week he is having!

[Tanzi]

We have the car and have found some to sell it to, and I should have that money back within next 10 days.

 

No, HE has the car.

 

And I thought he was going to do the car up to sell it?

 

My friend ended up telling me she was too busy to accomodate me and spend time with me on the day I arrived. Too much work apparently, and I did indeed lose her address which isn't usually my case.

 

Wow some friend. You travel 1000s of miles and she is too busy to accommodate you? Besides, giving someone a roof over their head doesn't take any time at all!

 

Can I ask how you know/met this friend.

 

I believe he is genuine: he shares photos with me of what he does, and we talked for almost an hour.

He is going back to work tomorrow.

 

Genuine in what way? He has told you he doesn't want to be in a relationship and, so far, he hasn't made any attempt to visit you (unless you are paying for his flight!?!?) If you think he is genuine in how he feels then he has yet to show it. As much as I don't like saying this he could see an hour on the phone with you as an time well spent if he sees you as a bottomless money pit. Be very, very careful.

 

As I said above, has any of the comments been made actually resonated with you at all or is it all falling on deaf ears? Do you not see ANY red flags at all.

[Ladylady]

So over the phone recently he has repeatesly told me he does want a relationship, and told me that he wants to get married and have kids. He said that he liked the way I was with his nephew, and that besides I am smart, well travelled and a goos person all round. The only issue right now in his view is hia lack of money, which is hy he haa said he wants to make money over the next few months to be able to visit me for a few weeks and spend quality time with me.

[LC8328]

I am not a troll. Just somebody with very little experience who wants to find love amd thought talking about my situation with others on this forum would help.

 

I don't know. These things don't add up. On the off-chance this situation is factual, I apologize for how this will sound, but seriously this is not making any sense at all. Either you're not telling the whole story, lied about a few things, or...or you have been extremely sheltered your whole life and are the perfect victim for con men.

 

You have very little experience yet you give repeated BJ's.

 

You have been communicating with your American friend the whole time yet you lost her address and no one picked you up from the airport...huh?

 

If this is all true, we can't help you when we can't understand the entire truth, and there are just too many inconsistencies for us to be able to do that.

[LC8328]

So over the phone recently he has repeatesly told me he does want a relationship, and told me that he wants to get married and have kids. He said that he liked the way I was with his nephew, and that besides I am smart, well travelled and a goos person all round. The only issue right now in his view is hia lack of money, which is hy he haa said he wants to make money over the next few months to be able to visit me for a few weeks and spend quality time with me.

 

People can say anything. Just because a person says it does not mean this is true. He has a reason to say these things to you, because you have been generous with him and he wants to keep that going.

[mhowe]

Wow. What kind of job can he get to make so much money and then take a lot of time off?

 

You must be over the moon that after one visit with his nephew he thinks you are wife/mother material.

[Blue_Skirt]

So over the phone recently he has repeatesly told me he does want a relationship, and told me that he wants to get married and have kids. He said that he liked the way I was with his nephew, and that besides I am smart, well travelled and a goos person all round. The only issue right now in his view is hia lack of money, which is hy he haa said he wants to make money over the next few months to be able to visit me for a few weeks and spend quality time with me.

So when you get married, are you going to move to the US or will he come to Europe?

Also how can he get off a few weeks from work? I work together with various US firms, and employees seem to have very little vacation days compared to what we have here in Europe.