Why being nerdy is such a turn OFF?

[al7]

Have you ever heard that fat women make the best lovers out there? Well I have heard the same about nerdy guys. My husband will flat out admit that he is a nerd.

 

I think it's more a thing with teenage girls. As adults, most women don't really care. What is being a nerd anyway, it's just a High school stereotype. These stereotypes don't hold much vallidity once you are out of high school.

 

Hmm.. interesting view.

I guess many girls hera are around 25. Way out of high school.

Stitll.. they say guy's clothes is such a turn off...or maybe sometimes a turn on.

So It makes me think some people never gradute high school at all....

[al7]

I am sure that this is going to come out wrong, but nerdy guys aren't really hot when they are younger. It isn't until they grow up and make some money that women will notice them! 8)

 

sisterlynch, again the great point!!

Hot=money!!!

So what do you guy bother thinking dating is complicated.

The solution is to be hot. And to be hot means to have money (earn or just have).

Here it is!

[Lily04]

ok, I read about up to the 8th page, and that's all right now...but you read my initial post wrong. I didn't imply that the clothes make the man, nor that clothes are an extremely important attribute in determining a prospective date. I just meant that it is important to be physically attracted to the guy. And this occurs at a subconscious level, you can't really help it. Most guys said they would rate me at about an 8-9/10. I take care of myself, work out, etc. In contrast, I would rate my ex at about a 6/10. He didn't work out, didn't care about his appearance, and when I went out to clubs with him, the guys there would hit on me thinking he was my brother. I was also embarrassed to show him to my friends sometimes, although he was more than eager to introduce me, and almost broke up with me when I didn't agree to commute an hr downtown so that he could introduce me to his friend who was visiting from another state. I was also studying for exams, and whatnot, but he always wanted to show me off, it was pathetic.

 

Coming out of that relationship I can say that my self-confidence has improved, and I now look for guys at my level...and he always wondered why I was never interested in sex... It may sound harsh (and I might be telling it in a crude way mainly because our breakup wasn't the nicest), but it's just the truth for me. Guys have standards for dating women, and just like them, I have mine.

[al7]

OK. I wonder why you didnt break up with him immediately is you were never interested in sex with him plus didnt like the way his style? I mean what were you wating for? That he'll improve?

 

Yes, you are right, if you guys have so different numbers in that dating market you better even do not start dating at all. What is the point?

Besides girls always want to date up. Btw, why is that?

[Shidoshi]

he always wondered why I was never interested in sex

 

Sparrow, just out of curiosity, why did you hook up with this guy in the first place? Given the little info you've presented about this dude I feel kind of sorry for him.

[Kitz]

But would you pay so much attention to fake things like clothes?

Because -- OMG, how many times have we said this -- WEARING GOOD CLOTHES CAN MAKE YOU LOOK MORE ATTRACTIVE. Most people probably dont notice, but the more attractive people probably wear better clothes, while you rarely see someone ugly dressed in something sexy. And WHY, I ask you, WHY would we go out with someone because of their CLOTHES. Why do you keep assuming that?? All me and Skye are trying to say is that clothes DO flatter your body and someone CAN look more attractive if they wear better clothes. In school we watched some video, where they got this hot guy, dressed him up in some really gay ol' bum clothes, made him walk accross the street and then asked these ladies what they thought of him. They all rated him like, from 0 - 3 /10. Then they took him away, cleaned him up a bit, got him some good clothes and asked the ladies again.. now they were saying things from 8 - 10 / 10.

Old..I am curious - would it make a diffirence if I am 15 or 30 or 45 for you?

Yes, it would. If you were like 30+.. well, those clothes are the kind of clothes that a guy that age would probably wear and so all this is pointless, if you're 15, after laughing our heads off we'll be able to explain it in a way you'll understand.

Ever wonder why most mannequins don't have heads?

Mannequins 'round here have heads. o_O

[Kitz]

Oh girls... could you please explain it to me, dumb guy, WHY this clothes style is outdated? White khaki and regular black belt in summer is outdated? Really? Striped shirt.. it doesnt look bad or dirty or old.

on fact it looked new. Just striped. Does it mean all light colored white striped shirts in summer are just for super old guys?

For me, it isnt the clothes exactly.. its the fact that he's got them pulled up SO HIGH. XDDD And those stripes.. they're just, weird.

 

Geeks, nerds, and dweebs are the future leaders of this planet. Look at Bill Gates.

Yeah, that probably explains why we're all going to die in 40 yrs.

[skyteph]

But would you pay so much attention to fake things like clothes?

Ever heard anyone say that they like their clothes to be a representation of their personality? I have, alot acctually, and I stand by that! I wouldn't wear clothes I didn't like, or that made me look like someone I wasen't, so if I saw someone wearing those clothes my immediate reaction would be to treat him like my grandfather.

 

Old..I am curious - would it make a diffirence if I am 15 or 30 or 45 for you?

If you were 15 and wearing those clothes I would probably laugh so hard I'd suffocate and die

[skyteph]

I am sure that this is going to come out wrong, but nerdy guys aren't really hot when they are younger. It isn't until they grow up and make some money that women will notice them! 8)

 

sisterlynch, again the great point!!

Hot=money!!!

So what do you guy bother thinking dating is complicated.

The solution is to be hot. And to be hot means to have money (earn or just have).

Here it is!

 

No offence, but I give you a logical explanation on how those clothes give off the impression of an older man, and I get talked to like I'm shallow, but when an older lady says something (In this case, about something as fical as clothing) her statment is automatically agreed with.

[Strandysmommy]

I nerds and geeks. I myself embrace my geekieness to the hilt.

[skyteph]

I nerds and geeks. I myself embrace my geekieness to the hilt.

 

It's nice to see someone comfortable with the skin they are in! 8)

[ShySoul]

al7,

 

That pic might fit the stereotype of nerdiness, but you can't really tell anything from it. Just like with any stereotype, you can't form any opinions solely off of that. Just like people with tattooees and noserings may have a very poetic heart, someone who wears those clothes could have any kind of interests. And like someone said earlier, what is nerdiness anyway? Labels like that are a matter of perception. If you think something, you'll make it true. So if you think your a nerd and that makes you a loser, you'll be that way. But if your proud to be a nerd and don't care what other people's opinions are, you'll be happier and more confident. Embrace your inner geek, it's fun. 8)

 

And I say again, clothes don't make the man the man makes the clothes.

[Mun]

That was my point. I don't think nerds necessarily fit a stereotype, Bill Gates looks like a regular white guy to me. Like ShySoul said, if you believe something about yourself then you will make it true.

 

I don't agree that money necessarily makes a guy hot. It might make him standoffish and arrogant-not desirable qualities.

 

Check your general attitude towards women, is it hostile? that might be what is setting you back and not necessarily your "look." I've heard lots of self proclaimed nice guys trashing women. I could tell you that all the nice guys are taken and all the jerks is what's left--would it be true? No, but my attitude would be guy-bashing and that would reflect how I treat men ...and whether or not they want to be around me.

[al7]

I am sure that this is going to come out wrong, but nerdy guys aren't really hot when they are younger. It isn't until they grow up and make some money that women will notice them! 8)

 

sisterlynch, again the great point!!

Hot=money!!!

So what do you guy bother thinking dating is complicated.

The solution is to be hot. And to be hot means to have money (earn or just have).

Here it is!

 

No offence, but I give you a logical explanation on how those clothes give off the impression of an older man, and I get talked to like I'm shallow, but when an older lady says something (In this case, about something as fical as clothing) her statment is automatically agreed with.

 

Logical explanation was like: we people at 15 wear this! You should too!

Sorry I dislike that baggy jeans that have more folds that I can count.. it is cool you think to have them almost on th ground?? How convenient how how suit it to all us people

 

I was not sure how old she is when I agreed with her. Does it really matter how old? I didnt see any automatic things here... she is more open thats it.

Besides you envy her or want my approval? Hmmmmmm.....

 

And the last: she was not talking about clothes at all.. it was a totally different topic as you can see.

[al7]

But would you pay so much attention to fake things like clothes?

WEARING GOOD CLOTHES CAN MAKE YOU LOOK MORE ATTRACTIVE. And WHY, I ask you, WHY would we go out with someone because of their CLOTHES. Why do you keep assuming that??

 

In school we watched some video, where they got this hot guy, dressed him up in some really gay ol' bum clothes, made him walk accross the street and then asked these ladies what they thought of him. They all rated him like, from 0 - 3 /10. Then they took him away, cleaned him up a bit, got him some good clothes and asked the ladies again.. now they were saying things from 8 - 10 / 10.

 

Old..I am curious - would it make a diffirence if I am 15 or 30 or 45 for you?

Yes, it would. If you were like 30+.. well, those clothes are the kind of clothes that a guy that age would probably wear and so all this is pointless, if you're 15, after laughing our heads off we'll be able to explain it in a way you'll understand.

 

Yes, clothes make a person more slightly more attractive. I agree obviously. But why would you reject a guy based solely on his pic in not very stylish clothes?

 

Good example about dressing a guy. So does it show that " these ladies"

are extremely shallow and they care mostly about guy's clothes?

To me it does show they dont care who is under the clothes.

It is clear. Agree?

 

Yeah tell me how you would expalain unstylish clothes for a guy of your age please.

[al7]

For me, it isnt the clothes exactly.. its the fact that he's got them pulled up SO HIGH. XDDD And those stripes.. they're just, weird.

 

What do you mean high? It is not really that easy to say. Why do you like it low? With jeans touching teh ground? What's cool about it?

[al7]

I don't agree that money necessarily makes a guy hot. It might make him standoffish and arrogant-not desirable qualities.

 

Check your general attitude towards women, is it hostile? that might be what is setting you back and not necessarily your "look." I've heard lots of self proclaimed nice guys trashing women. I could tell you that all the nice guys are taken and all the jerks is what's left--would it be true? No, but my attitude would be guy-bashing and that would reflect how I treat men ...and whether or not they want to be around me.

 

Yes, money makes him arroagnt - true. And hot. Very hot.

We all know that but some people tend to hide the truth to appear more

polite and nice.I would rather be perceived as ajerk but an honest jerk than a nice but dishonest guy. and I am sure I am already percieved in that way

I am not hostile to people, I am very aggressive in my thinking here - thats right. I think nothing is wrong with aggressive thinking when you challenge a person a) to think b) to chose words c) to stand for what he\she said or believe.

[al7]

al7,

 

That pic might fit the stereotype of nerdiness,

 

This is the only thing I wanted to know. Why a good striped shirt is nerdy,

but black one is fine? Why white khaki are nerdy but blue jeans of enormous length are cool?

[Mun]

Maybe you can put up your picture and we call tell you whether or not you look "nerdy." If you think your attitude is jerk-like then it really might be the way you dress that is coming accross that way(nerdy). And now that I think about it.. how do jerks dress anyway?

 

Is there a dress code?

 

I still find myself attracted to nerdy guys... maybe I'm the only one

[al7]

Maybe you can put up your picture and we call tell you whether or not you look "nerdy." If you think your attitude is jerk-like then it really might be the way you dress that is coming accross that way(nerdy). And now that I think about it.. how do jerks dress anyway?

 

Is there a dress code?

 

I still find myself attracted to nerdy guys... maybe I'm the only one

 

I am posotive it has something to do with age. The younger a person the more he\she pays attention to fads and fashion.

[1899]

Come on... All this talk, lets see some pictures man.

[ShySoul]

How do any stereotypes come into being? Odds are, no one really knows why a certain look was labeled "nerdy." How did something that is popular became labelled as "cool?" Thing is, its all so subjective. Don't care what other people think of you or what society says is "cool" or not. For all you know, societies tastes could change tomorrow and what was nerdy would now be in style. Don't think about it and just be yourself. What's really cool is not caring if your cool or not and just being happy being you.

[al7]

Don't care what other people think of you or what society says is "cool" or not. For all you know, societies tastes could change tomorrow and what was nerdy would now be in style.

 

Very cool!

Do you know how o start prcticing that "dont care" attitude?

I'd like to learn.

[1899]

Ok, from the picture you sent me, which most people have seen already

You look to be upper 20's. Your face matches very well with the clothes you wear. You look like you own a jewlry business. I dont see how a girl would not like to be with you. But im not a girl...You may decide to continue wearing what you like wearing. BUT, you may want to loosen up at times and wear somthing a little more simpler like geans and polo shirt. Im telling you now, you would look cooler.

 

WITH THAT SAID...

Ive been know to be the kinda guy with the big CB antennas on my ex-police car. I just like that look. My sisters got on me about that. I personally like the look but Im shure women my age may have been turned off by it so I toned it down by getting just one 12" antenna on my car.

[ShySoul]

Very cool!

Do you know how to start prcticing that "dont care" attitude?

I'd like to learn.

 

Simple, don't care what others think of you or let others dictate how you should be. I know, it seems hard to do. But it isn't as hard as you might think. At the end of the day you have to be able to look at yourself in the mirror. Do you really want to look in the mirror and see what other's want you to be or do you want to be able to see yourself, who you really are inside? In the end, you are responsible for yourself and make the choices in your life, no one else. You need to do what makes you feel good in life. Odds are if your falling into the trap of listening to others, you'll have a voice in your head telling you that this just isn't you. Listen to the voice. Do the things you enjoy doing and keep telling yourself that you are a great guy. Learn to tell who your real friends are, the ones who accept and like you for you. Listen to your heart, it will tell you if your happy or not. And the more you not care about what other's think, the happier you'll be.