rygy555 Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 I've recently been through a terrible, mind altering break up...not only with my absolute dream girl but with her mother...I say that because I was never truly just with my ex...her mother who didn't like me from the beginning has completely played a huge rill in destroying our relationship.. it was like dating two women at once...my parents always had opinions of my relationships but they stay as nuturel as possible. Through out my ex maintained she knew he mother was over bearing and a bit dramatic..this women decided she didn't like me at the beginning because of my hand shake...really? And it was one thing after another...but then one day a switch flipped..all the sudden I felt like my ex was caught in the crossfire of me and her.not healthy..I could no longer take the high road.frustraion was setting in..of course this was a huge problem and ultimately ruined our relationship..now it's been just over a month wo her and I still feel destroyed..my world is gone...I've been able to stay out of contact for a week now and going strong..meds have helped..so im getting there...It's just hard to imagine someone who loved you just instantly doesn't care..how could that be? How will she ever miss me if her mom is constantly putting me down...or so in hear..obviously just don't get it...they're playing the classic victim card about everything(so I hear) and yet I'm stuck being miserable...I shouldn't feel this way..I should feel happy to be away from these two...but I'm not...anybody else have an experience with the mother who could cut the embylical cord? I mean for God sakes my ex is 25..will it ever stop...I've said nothing to slander them but yet I hear non stop her mom is running me into the ground Link to comment
TMifune Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 Loving parents should come to a point where they "let go" and let their children make decisions that affect their lives. If we call this cutting the cord, that's fine. But adult men and women who's parents are unwilling to cut the cord, must find a way to cut it themselves. The fact that your ex couldn't stand up to her mother and say "this is what I want" is your very very clear sign that this was absolutely not your dream girl. If she can't set that boundary and keep her mother from being meddlesome in your ex's relationships than, well.....you deserve better than that. Link to comment
DoF Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 Meds to heal? Be careful there. It's only been a WEEK. you feel this way cause you SHOULD feel this way. It's going to take TIME, as in MONTHS (probably 3-6 months) but during this you cannot make any contact/block/ignore her. Remember, ANY contact = reset of your healing. Completely normal (although it does hurt). Keep going..... I also agree with above, this girl had no backbone and was not independent/strong......FAR from "dream girl". Besides, you don't want a dream girl, you want a dream WOMAN! HUGE difference Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 Ultimately, if she at age 25 was not able to disconnect from her mother's opinions, then it was best for you to separate. The drama would never end because her mother is her mother forever. Sorry for your pain. You'll just have to go through it. Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 anybody else have an experience with the mother who could cut the embylical cord? i guess that's why there are so many "mother-in-law" jokes and movies based on this premise! i'm sorry. i agree that you don't need this. it's better to break up now than for you two to be married and MIL moves in too. yikes. Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 My husband's mother was the battle axe from hell. I stole her only child (according to her) and she never did like me. Talk about impossible for me to win this one, tho I did try. Hubby just didn't know how to handle her, tho he did move out and in with me, which upset her to no end. She told lies about me and upset me a lot. I never met anyone like her before or since. I was relieved when she died, even tho that's a nasty thing to say. He did break free from her but since she was so domineering it was not easy. Plus she had health issues which she used to guilt trip him. So I hear you! I have been married to him for 30 yrs., he's truly a great person and his own person now. I was not about to leave him to make her happy, that's for sure. I've made it a policy to not interfere in my grown kids' lives. I love my son in law and my son's girlfriend, and would never tell them what to do or how to do it. Link to comment
92151794 Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 She needs to learn how to form boundaries. Maybe she will in time. But right now she's not relationship material. If it was me id leave her. Link to comment
rygy555 Posted October 12, 2015 Author Share Posted October 12, 2015 The break up is month old...the only meds I've taken are sleep aids...not really the type to jump into pills...but I totally agree with you guys...she's 25 and her mom still wants to control every aspect of her life...it's not something that will go away...and she knows how her mom is and was always very unbiased about it...always knew how she was...but that changed very quickly...which I agree with having no back bone...this girl was very outgoing and fun on the outside but very insecure and down on herself on the inside...it was a constant juggling act on how to treat it..these problems won't just go away..she tends to dig a hole and run from her issuse...I just feel at 25 you should have a better head on your shoulders...but luckily my head is at least in a place where I know it's not good for us to be together.and the situation will never change..but the heart wants what the hearts wants Link to comment
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