Zovi Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 Ok so I feel like a terrible person about this. I met my boyfriend of 5 months at a camp (I had a bf while at camp but me and him barely spoke and I was wanting to break up but I felt bad doing it over text)I knew that he lived in the neighbouring country and had to travel for hours to get there. We barely talked and he didn't so much ask for my number or ask to hang out while at camp (did get my Facebook on the last night) so I kinda got the impression it was never gonna get anywhere. We became good friends on Facebook and kinda started flirting a bit. I didn't really want to start going out with someone who lives about 200 miles away who I'll barely see. Coincidently about that time an old friend started talking to me on fb and we ended up meeting up 3 Times and we flirted a bit but I realised I didn't rrly like him that way. I flirted with another guy but only a little bit.This guy that was friends with one of my friends started messaging me on snapchat, we ended up meeting up twice and flirting quite allot, I thought he was my type but in hindsight we didn't have much in common and he had a nasty aggressive streek to him, we always argued and I cried every day about it but I just kept thinking it's gonna get better but it never did and we ended up "breaking up" even though I wouldn't exactly call that a relationship, my boyfriend found out about me going out with this guy, this was of course when me and my bf were still just friends, he git really upset and angry about it but hrs since forgiven me because he says that there's no point in being mad about things in the past and he knows I didn't mean to hurt him and that long distance relationships aren't ideal so he even said that he would of done the exact same thing. I still feel really guilty about it though, I didn't tell him about the other guys so I'm going to just to get it Off my chest cuz I just feel really guilty aboit it and I did realise that he was the perfect guy for me but I was still stupid enough to try to go out with other guys just because they were more local. Would you feel guilty in this situation? Should I? I'll admit it, I was a bit of a doing that. I just wanted a boyfriend that lived close and wasn't exactly thinking straight. Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 You weren't with him. You've done nothing wrong. He is wrong for trying to make your life before him about him. You've done nothing that needs forgiving. Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 I think you are worrying too much. A long distance relationship is very difficult just by it's very nature. The odds of it working aren't great. You have done nothing wrong and there's no need to tell him about flirting with other guys. Flirting isn't cheating. You would be better off to find a guy closer to home. Link to comment
ParisPaulette Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 If you have to defend what you did by way of activities with the opposite sex BEFORE you ever were exclusive with the person you're with now, who is kicking up a fuss about your past, then you are with the wrong person. Period. End of story. Seriously, what you did before you and your boyfriend agreed to be exclusive is none of anyone's including his business. Are you upset by any female contact your boyfriend would've had? Upset that he might've flipped through a Victoria's Secret catalog or two? No, oh right because you two weren't together in a committed relationship at that time and you're sane about it. Not so him though unfortunately. Tell him to get over it or go home. It's absolute bullship to expect you to have been so good at predicting the future you would have shunned all men and hidden away until your one true love rode into town. If you were that good you'd be making money hand over fist right now as a psychic, but since you aren't psychic and your BF is being an immature little boy tell him to get over it. He has zero right to be upset with you and frankly that's kind of controlling and a serious red flag. Link to comment
Zovi Posted October 11, 2015 Author Share Posted October 11, 2015 Thank you that's very reassuring.I guess I just thought that it was wrong of me to flirt with him and then go out with other people, it really tore me apart when he found out about me and that guy going out (this was at the time) and he was so angry because be really cared about me and I realised I Made the wrong decision. But I think it is okay cuz we weren't going out and I as I've said long distance isn't ideal so it's not wrong to look for other people who are closer so you don't have to go through that. Link to comment
ParisPaulette Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 Exactly. And the fact is you didn't make a wrong decision. You dated someone, found out they weren't for you, and moved on to someone you thought was. That's it. He should be honored you chose him at all over the other guy, in truth. Until you both say "Let's be exclusive" or "We are exclusive" it is just dating and not a relationship yet. You date to find out if you want to be in a relationship at which point all previous experience should be rendered neutral by both parties. Link to comment
Longview01 Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 Sounds like your boyfriend needs to grow up to be honest Link to comment
milkyway Posted October 15, 2015 Share Posted October 15, 2015 that guy you flirt on snap chat, is he in your country? and when you guys meet up did you two do anything else than chatting? sorry a bit confused here. Link to comment
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