Children make it so hard!!

[Makingitbetter]

I just want to run away and never see him again but we have a child who he loves very much and wants to be a part of her life.

I'm not gonna go into the ins and out but our relationship was hell for 6 years and we just flogged the dead horse for the last 2. I could cope if we just split but we were on and off the last year and there was another 'girl' always there in the wings pouncing the minute things got really bad....he's gone straight back too her and it just makes me feel so and worthless and such a failure that I couldnt make it work and she might make him happy, but worse because of littl'en I am constantly having my face rubbed in it. I tried NC with him before, going through his mum but when the enevital contact had to happen I just wasn't prepared and it set me back so far.

I just feel so lonely being the one having to carry on with life as normal with the littl'en and obviously he's happy as because he gets all his time to do as he want when he wants bar a few hours a week he has littl'en.

I just feel like he can move on so easily but life is punishing me for my amazing daughter, like she is a price I have to pay. I don't want to be with anyone else but I just wish I could move on emotionally and get rid of the thoughts of them going round and round in my head

[Tanzi]

She is not a price you have to pay, You are the lucky one and when you have come through this you will realise that. I have been bringing up my 3 children on my own for 8 years now and sometimes it really sucks knowing how easy it is for my ex-husband to get on with his life whilst, between working 5 days a week, the kids and the home, I struggle to find the time to have one. However, in between seeing his current gf most nights business trips and holidays he hasn't seen our youngest (who he still has every other weekend) for a few weeks now whereas I can't even find one day to see my new guy without it creating lots of juggling about. However, given the choice, I wouldn't change a thing. I definitely wouldn't want to be back with my ex-husband and I definitely wouldn't want to be without my girls. They are growing up now into beautiful young women and they are my life and my best friends. You might consider it a price you have to pay now but it is one that is well worth the investment.

[SooSad33]

I have raised my 4 boys more-less on my own for years now. They have come first.

The younger 2 see their dad every weekend. I have them thru the school week.

 

You need to get yourself together... love your little one and move on.. away from him ( your negative) and get your own life back on track.

I know.. it all hurts. You're lonely, etc. BUT, you can't give to another until you, yourself is ready to & more stable.

 

Take it easy, enjoy your little one and take care of you both.

In time, you will come to meet another man out there.. but don't just jump into that right now. When you've healed some.

It all takes time.

 

Her dad is probably just acting out and doing it all wrong, where he may end up messing his mind up more.. sadly.

Some will do that.. ready or not.

But.. don't you worry about that! Worry about you & your daughter now.

[catfeeder]

I once said to my Mom who divorced when my sister and I were young, "Ghaaaad, it must have been so much harder for you to be single with 2 kids..." and she said, "No, just the opposite. You kept my priorities straight, and you were my motivation to keep moving forward and do my very best to focus on optimism. If it were not for you two, I would have let my own childishness make me miserable."

 

So focus on your own priorities and skip worrying about what your ex does. That will only keep you miserable, and who wins from that?

 

Your daughter didn't pick this guy, you did--and it's not her fault. Focus on giving her the best mother you can be, and that will lift you up. You will thank yourself later.