She called me "little brother", am I deep in the friendzone?

[JackJackxD]

This girl and I went to the same primary school, but we only knew of each other's existence around 5 years ago through a gathering hosted by friends. At the start I had a little crush on her on the summer I first met her, but it was nothing major. I eventually found someone in college whom I've dated for almost three years, and we broke up last year.

 

I usually only see her during summer, and maybe 3-4 times in total for the rest of the year since we are both busy with our study. This summer I'm single again, and I guess my little crush that I had on her years ago was reignited. Me and her have the same interests, same sense of humour and she has a much better personality with than my Ex. The problem is that I'm very confused as to where we stand right now.

 

For the first time in 5 years, she said that she saw me as a little brother. We were just casually dissing each other. She started off by saying that she has an evil laugh whenever she sees me. I then replied by saying "Wow are you trying to say I'm funny looking or something!?", to which she replied saying "I laugh when I see my family too because I'm happy to see them! *inserts evil emoticon*" (basically trying to pretend to be not dissing me). Then I said "But I'm not your family, so why are you laughing?". She replied saying "I laugh because I see you as my little brother!".

 

I don't know if she genuinely meant it or not.

 

I'm not going to type a huge paragraph, but here are a few more things that makes me really confused.

 

- This summer she keeps trying to get me to go clubbing with her (just me and her). When I asked her to go ask another male mutual friend she said it won't be the same.

- We literally talk to each other all the time. This week we've been going out with each other every day, and we texts each other when we get home.

- A lot of body contact, she pokes me and pinches me and I do the same.

- Before the summer I saw her twice, and first meeting she told me about her having a little crush on some guy. Then like a week after she told me about how she rejected him when the guy pursued her, which was kinda strange.

- A few days ago, she took some medicine which had the side effect of making her hyper-active and hard to concentrate. When we went to the cinema together she was literally clinging onto my arm and then bear hugging me out of no where. After the medicine has worn off, she said how she remembered calling me dad or something.

- She keeps comparing me with her dad. "Oh you are just like my dad!", "My dad does this too!"

- We flirt a lot, like we make fun of each other constantly and we pretend to be angry and wait till the other says "aww I'm joking!". (Haha if that counts as flirting?)

- She seemed kinda overly interested in my other female friends, especially my flat mate who I cook with every day. She keeps teasing me about me dating her.

- Gets kinda quiet (not sure if upset) when I talk about my Ex.

- She told me how she got drunk once and kissed a guy in the club by accident. Then she commented on how she needs to find a boyfriend with thicker lips because the guy's lips are too thin. I don't have giant sausage lips, but my lips are on the thicker side of the lip scale. xD

- She wears make up whenever she goes out with me, but says she doesn't wear make-up when she goes out with her sister.

- She randomly commented on how she doesn't wear darker lipstick when she sees me. She wears a lot of red lipstick (something that I said I liked before). When I asked her why she doesn't use darker lipstick when she sees me, she says "I don't want you to see me when I'm so sexy" playfully.

- Sometimes I tease her about how she has no cleavage, in reply she says "Well yeah, I only show my cleavage to hot guys".

- Before when we had a serious phone conversation, she complimented me saying how I'm a good guy. I brushed it off saying "You are just saying that to comfort me" because I got a little bit emotional when we discussed about my failed relationship with my Ex. She then said that she really meant it and rarely compliments people like that.

-She keeps saying that she has no crush, and once she said maybe she has an imaginary one.

 

That's about it, I'm really confused right now. Would love to have some opinions from you guys. The conversation above might not be entirely accurate since I translated it from Chinese to English, which doesn't really make as much sense once translated

 

Thanks for your time!

[mhowe]

She thinks of you as a little brother. It isn't complicated from her perspective. You sound like you have a crush on her.

[superfan]

She sees you as a friend and she is doing her best to make sure you know this so as to keep the boundaries between you. She doesn't see you as a potential romantic partner.

[JackJackxD]

She thinks of you as a little brother. It isn't complicated from her perspective. You sound like you have a crush on her.

 

Haha yeah, I definitely do have a mad crush on her right now.

[relevart]

I agree with mhowe. It's not complicated. She brozoned you and compared you to her dad. You're way overthinking it.

[relevart]

She sees you as a friend and she is doing her best to make sure you know this so as to keep the boundaries between you. She doesn't see you as a potential romantic partner.

Saw this after I posted. Good point about her going out of her way to make sure you understand you're in the zone.

[pippy longstocking]

I think she is having a little flirt with you but keeping you at arms length and letting you know it aint going to happen by calling you her little brother ...

[CluelessQuirk]

I also agree that she sees you as a brother and that you are officially in the "friend zone". Sorry about that. She obviously went out of her way to express the fact that she doesn't see you in a romantic light. If things start to feel too intense around her, you may want to spend less time together.

[JackJackxD]

I think she is having a little flirt with you but keeping you at arms length and letting you know it aint going to happen by calling you her little brother ...

 

Well our mutual friends all commented on how me and this girl act when we go out to group gatherings and how we keep flirting with each other. I thought this had a potential to grow into a relationship but obviously it's not going to happen now~

[pippy longstocking]

Well our mutual friends all commented on how me and this girl act when we go out to group gatherings and how we keep flirting with each other. I thought this had a potential to grow into a relationship but obviously it's not going to happen now~

 

the thing is , some girls know when someone is attracted to them , and they enjoy it and have a little flirt back ... but make sure at the same time that they are stating how far it will go and in this case ...not very far ..she clearly enjoys your company and you have fun together ...so enjoy that .

[CluelessQuirk]

Once I start looking at s guy in bother-like way, it's because that's exactly what he is to me. There is no attraction romantically.

[mhowe]

Well our mutual friends all commented on how me and this girl act when we go out to group gatherings and how we keep flirting with each other. I thought this had a potential to grow into a relationship but obviously it's not going to happen now~

 

It was never going to happen. You can flirt all you want with each other because it's "safe"

[pippy longstocking]

It was never going to happen. You can flirt all you want with each other because it's "safe"

 

yes ..safe ..this is what I am trying to say ..

[superfan]

Here's the thing....for women, getting hit on by a guy friend (one that we don't see as a romantic partner) is pretty much the end of the friendship.

 

It's hard to put that line in place (politely) because anything more overt would come off as sounding extremely egotistical. Could she have said straight up "just so you know I don't see you as anything but a friend are you OK with that?"

 

Yes she could have....but apropos of nowhere that can sound pretty full of one self.

 

She suspects you have a crush and wants to keep the friendship so she is telling you that she doesn't see you as anything more than a friend in the most polite way possible.

 

If your feelings for her are too much to handle that then you should spend less time with her.

[ParisPaulette]

Dude, you are so far friendzoned you could show up with 10 models on your arms and all she'd say is "That's my boy" and give you a high-five.

 

Little brother is the ultimate friendzone term for a female to use on a guy. Little sister if it's a guy saying it about a girl. It means, you are my little sibling I have affection for and I'd never get into the sack with you in a million years. Sorry, but yeah friendzoned indeed.

[JackJackxD]

If your feelings for her are too much to handle that then you should spend less time with her.

 

I guess I will do exactly that, I'm sure I'll see her the same way that I saw her when I was still together with my Ex. I just need to detach myself from her for little while and take some time to breathe. It's just that being single for an entire year, and suddenly having a girl that is fun to be around with in your life again makes it easy to have a crush on someone if you get what I mean.

[pippy longstocking]

Dude, you are so far friendzoned you could show up with 10 models on your arms and all she'd say is "That's my boy" and give you a high-five.

 

oh pp that did make me chuckle

[superfan]

I guess I will do exactly that, I'm sure I'll see her the same way that I saw her when I was still together with my Ex. I just need to detach myself from her for little while and take some time to breathe. It's just that being single for an entire year, and suddenly having a girl that is fun to be around with in your life again makes it easy to have a crush on someone if you get what I mean.

 

Totally get it. The thing is, as I said it's hard from her perspective to actually come out and say "sorry I don't think of you that way" without coming accross as full of herself. She likely suspects you have feelings though.

 

Anytime I have suspected a male friend of mine was attracted to me I would use similar language in order to set the tone. If he actually told me he had feelings then I would be more direct and I would keep my distance if he didn't want to hang out after that.

 

I won't say tell her you have feelings but if she asks why you aren't hanging out as much, either tell her you think of her as more than a friend and you don't want to get in too deep (which she will appreciate) or tell her that the friendship is hindering your ability to meet other women if you don't want to put yourself out there.