Need help with a Swedish love

[lastinline15]

I am American and have lived and worked in Sweden for three years. I am 28. Last week I met an amazing women 31 from Sweden. We met Friday and she stayed at my place every night until monday. I felt an instant connection. Like this is the love of my life. I did not expect it to happen. She told me the sex was the best she ever had in her life. We were talking every day and thursday I went to her place. We started talking. To me it felt like where were dating. I started to talk to her about where this was going. When you live alone like I do in a different country, it really hurts when a relationship does not work out. My family is 4,000 miles away and I am starting to open up and have all of these feelings. I have never felt like I did for her in my whole life so quickly. I know she had to feel something. She said she felt something, but was not sure if she felt the same as me. Her mother passed away 4 months ago and she has been single for 4 months. I understand if she wants to take things slow. Yesterday, on Friday she came over and we were drinking. I got a little too drunk and started tell her how much I like her. The same thing happened she was not sure. I told her to go so I did not have to feel hurt. I cried a little when she did not feel the same. I think it was the beer and opening up Then I called her and said I did not want to sleep without her. She came over we had sex. I woke up and she was gone. She said she wanted to talk and I could not wake me up and left. I texted her in the morning and she said she was confused and does not want to hurt me. She said to me I guess I don't feel it as hard as you do, don't get me wrong I feel it, but I'm not comfortable moving forward and in the end hurting you even more. I respect you too much I just need to take a few steps back and think. I centainly don't want to take advantage of you in anyway even though the sex is some of the best I ever had. I asked her do you want me to delete your number and forget about you? she said in text I don't know yet. I don't think so, but if that's what you need you should do it. The last thing I said in text was I am a pretty ing awesome guy. I had a bad night. I think any girl is lucky to be with me. I don't want to keep talking in circles. If you want to see me, text me. If not cool. Just do me a favor. Don't think about me today. Have a good time. Kiss kiss. I just want you to have a good time today. Ok I am done texting now.

 

She has fun plans today. We hung out 6 days out of a week and she slept over 4 days in a row. I can't help how I feel. It sounds like I am getting mixed singles. She is not sure what she wants. I feel she could be the love of my life. I am afraid i messed things up today. Any advice would be nice. I have no idea where her head is at. I don't want to freak her out with me liking her so much. I don't think she would have slept over my place 4 days in a row if she did not feel anything. I am not planning on texting her until she responds. She is going out tonight and drinking so maybe she will message me or miss me. Thanks for listening.

[Willywagtail]

Um, you met her a week ago. You need to take a deep breath.

 

Her mother just recently died and she's on the rebound from a relationship. Not a good time to start a relationship. Not a good time to be pushing her to make a decision. She's right to be cautious.

 

Take another deep breath. I understand it's intense, but often those relationships that start intense with great sex burn very brightly and then go out. Sure, the sex is great. But it's sex. You know nothing about her. You're letting your lust and passion get ahead of you.

 

Great sex does that. It produces hormones that make you believe you want to be with that person forever, and that they are the love of your life. Take another deep breath. You're behaving like a madman. They don't call it madly in love for nothing.

 

Give the poor woman some space. This isn't just about you. Take another couple more deep breaths. You need to back off. You're acting really scary and you'll scare her away, when that isn't what you want to do.

[agent1607307371]

You need to expand your social groups because this is just way too much, way too quickly. Like, completely inappropriately too much.

 

I know she had to feel something.

She really doesn't. And even if she does, it doesn't have to be what you're feeling. Your chemicals are not hers. The reaction happening in you, does not have to be happening in hers.

[Clinton]

Wow, so many red flags here. Her mother just died, her relationship just ended. Those are major life events.

 

She is no where near ready to be in a relationship.

 

You are a fun distraction for her. She likes you, but not that way.

 

And if life has taught me anything, it's that great, mind blowing sex has nothing to do with the chance of a new relationships success.

[lastinline15]

Sorry let me say it has be a year and a half since her mother died, but 4 months since her last relationship. I gave her space today. She texted me today and we met by the river. She said she was thinking of me all day. I had a race I was in and she came to watch. We talked about things for 2 hours. She said this was the best time she ever had with me just talking. She kissed me in public and said she might come over tonight. I agree with you, that I was not thinking clearly. I told her that I like her, but I am still getting to know her. I also said I was sorry for pushing things. It was a bit immature. I think I do that out of the fear of getting hurt. I was open and honest with my feelings. I dated a girl in Sweden 3 years ago and it did not work out. I got hurt pretty bad and felt very lonely. I can't let that pass relationship mess up this one. I have been with many women and have never felt like this before... ever. I know I just need to let it ride. Thanks for the advice. I learned something and feel I have chance, but I agree sex is not everything. I learned this 5 years ago with one relationship.

[Rosti87]

OP,

 

Just make sure she is not using you as a diversion from her recently ended relationship. It is too soon to tell if she is open to another relationship. Be careful that you are not a rebound.

[Hollyj]

Waaaaaay too fast. You're pushing her away.

 

I would be scared as hell if someone was pushing me in this manner, in such a short period. This is not normal, or healthy.

 

You need to slow things down, big time.