I don't want to live in anymore. I had such a good thing and I lost it.

[Sadandsad]

I'm so completely sad.

 

My girlfriend and I broke up-she initiated it and I am devastated. We were together for 2.5 years and she was always there, always giving me her all. She was in the relationship wholeheartedly. I was the weaker one, I was always taking advantage of her kindness because she would always come back, always tell me how much she loved me and how much I changed her life. Honestly, she would always tell me daily that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me and we were looking for a house to rent together. But we never made it.

 

Things got toxic....I got a bit jealous of her and we both got a bit suffocated. Always needing to know what each other's doing, who we are talking too, etc. She ended up backing off a bit, but I unfortunately stayed that way. But the love was still 100% there for me. It still is. I believe I was insecure and it turned into a slowly growing poison..

 

We started bickering a lot and I now (in hindsight) realise they were always over such small, petty things and it was always me starting the arguments. I found it hard to trust her.

 

But I loved her, oh god did I love her. I had been thinking of how I would propose one day, I was so into this wonderful, kind sweet girl. Not only was she my partner, she was my best friend, my soulmate.

 

Then one afternoon, we had a big fight, a big bad, nasty, yucky fight. I got so angry and smashed her phone (awful I know, I know). I stormed out and left angry. The next day I just assumed we'd make up like we always did, but she said she needed some space so I told her I respected her and that I would wait for her.

 

In the end.....6 weeks later.... She decided to move. Not suburbs, not states, but country. She moved country to go and live with a relative and 'start fresh' because she is 'ruined'. She told me the news through email and said she was about to get on a plane, so don't bother going to my house-because I'm not there.

 

I'm so distraught. So broken hearted. So completely, consumingly full of pain and regret.

 

We had such a deep..deeeep love. How can she pack up and leave? From us caring about each other so intensely for 2 years to 'poof' it's just gone? She has initiated no contact, she said "please move on, please let me move on, I'm over this, I will always love you but goodbye forever". And hasn't replied to any of my emails since (2months ago now).

 

It is so hard to get out of bed in the morning. I HATE waking up.

 

Does anyone have any advice on what they think about her moving country? Is it going to be easy for her to start fresh? She has a relative to live with... But no friends over there. Is the grass really greener on the other side? Will she regret this? I just need some advice... I need to know if she's just totally moved on or if she might contact me one day. Do you think she still thinks about me? I am stuck here with all these triggers..restaurants, parks, etc. but moving country has got to make it easier for her...right?

 

This is so hard. She said we would be forever. I truly thought I'd marry her one day.

[Sadandsad]

Also, she is 23 this year and I am 27 this year.

[peachykeen77]

Sadandsad,

She will be fine. You should work on yourself a bit. With every situation you have, there is a lesson to be learned. In this situation, I would look at how you got to the point of breaking another person's phone (the person who you claim you love most, none the less). Do not break phones. Period. She should not want to get back together with you because you obviously did not respect her.

The good news for you is, is sounds like you genuinely realize what you have lost so maybe you will be willing to handle yourself like a gentleman the next time you date a lady that you love. Keep your chin up, things will be okay.

[Man with Dog]

Although it was your fault, I still feel sorry for you. I doubt if the one fight was, on its own, enough to break up over. It was more likely that the other fights built up and the phone breaking was one step too far.

 

I can't say it will be easy but, although it feels like the world has ended, there is life after love for most of us.

 

I'd look at anger management. If you blow up like that against a big bloke, you might get seriously injured.

 

She won't be back but there will be 2nd and 3rd chances with others.

[mhowe]

She is putting distance...both literal and figurative...between you. She won't be back.

[boltnrun]

Time to search for more productive and less frightening ways to argue.

 

I too would have left if my BF got so angry he smashed my personal property.

 

You have a golden opportunity to learn good lessons here. Do not try to control those whom you love. Do not take for granted the one you love. And learn to control your anger, jealousy and possessiveness.