Hope for those wanting reconciliation!

[jnelson]

Okay...just three weeks ago (after 10 months of trying to get back together with my ex of 5 years) I decided that it was FINALLY time to move on...over those 10 months she was a complete bit*h to me at times and normal at other times....very hot and cold.....THEN just yesterday she calls me in tears telling me she misses me so much and thinks about me all the time....tells me " I want to get back together"...she told me she tried to move on and forget about me but she just couldnt do it and she has been miserable for a while now....

 

Strange how things work...as soon as I finally decide to move on etc (after an argument we had where I finally told her how much of a huge bit*h she was being) she calls me and says she wants to be together...and honestly, for the first time since we have broken up she sounds like her old self again.....so if you are still trying to get back with your ex remember that it is very likely it won't happen until you are fully prepared to lose them....

 

Here is the catch....3 weeks ago I told her off...I had had enough of her BS and told her about it....a week after all of this I met a girl at school who I had noticed around the last couple years (she had a bf, i had a gf)...we have been hanging out a lot in the last two weeks and I know she likes me...she is really cool and I have a lot of fun with her...thing is, after this year she is going to grad school....and next year, I am going to be very close to the ex......what would you do in this situation? I do still have feelings for my ex, however, they seem to have faded quite a bit lately....I miss the old ex, not the girl she was for the last 10 months....but the new girl is really cool.....not sure what to do! haha never thought I would be in this situation...

[camilla67]

Go for the new girl. You never know where it will take you. Don't think too much about the future and just enjoy the time for now. If you and your ex are meant to be together, you will eventually.

[Cecelius]

She dumped you once, was a different and probably confused person for the better part of a year. I wouldn't bother, frankly.

[Beec]

I think I would, for now, see them both a little and take things as they come, nothing serious either way. When I've done this, I end up where I want to call and see one, and not the other, and my choice is made without thinking very much about it. The only time my choice was made another way, was with one ex, we were seeing each other, then we went too far sexually for me to feel comfortable seeing anyone else and not feel like I was cheating. In any case, it was more of an unconscious decision, and I think it was right in all fo them.

 

Women seem to be ok when I tell them I want to take things slow getting in or back in a relationship.

[heloladies21]

Pesonally I have a really hard time trusting someone who hurt me in the past. It would take a whole lot more than a phone call asking me back for me to want to get back together. Time your time making a decision either way. Don't let your ex push you into anything you're not ready for and be very careful if you do decide to try it again. Things have to go slow or you might be setting yourself to get hurt again...

[PrincessLinzay]

I would be a little wary in this situation if I were you. Yes she's come back and said she wants to get back together, however, this could have stemmed from the fact that you finally stood up to her. No one likes to feel that loss of control. It gets you thinking....hmmmm "they don't want me anymore, I can fix that". So they temporarily do and say all the right things, and when they have you back to normal, BAM, the **beep** is back!

 

I definitely wouldn't stop dating this new girl whom you like. I would tell your ex that she has some things to prove before you officially get back together. You can't just jump back into things like that. She hurt you, and right now you have no reason to believe that she's going to make a sincere effort.

 

I would take things one day at a time, and be on your guard.

 

Good Luck!

[jnelson]

Thanks everyone for the advice....I think you all make good points. I'm definitely not going to just run back to the ex just because she called me and wants to be together.....she has a lot of things to show me before anything ever happens with us again. I still can't believe how she behaved while we were apart......So....I will continue to see the new girl and see where that goes! Thanks again!!!