Professional Help

[ajhurst210]

i'm 4 months into my break up and for awhile I thought I was gonna be okay... but lately I've been spiraling back down. I'm having an EXTREMELY hard time coping and getting over her. My physical and mental health are suffering. I'm starting to get really scared for myself.

 

I've been avoiding it because I don't really have the money to go, but I'm thinking about seeing a counselor. I'm just iffy about it because I don't really know if it will help. It'll just be another person for me to vent to but I'll be paying for it this time. I don't know what else they can tell me to do that I'm not already doing, or listen to anything I haven't already talked to death with others.

 

If there are others on this board seeing a professional... are they helping at all? Or is it not worth it? Any opinions would be helpful...

[sentiententity]

My counselor was nice to talk to. Somewhat helpful. But if you don't have the money or insurance for it maybe see what is available through your county.

[ghostgirl116]

I totally indorse seeing a counselor if you have money for it. however, many of us don't have money for it! so, if I may recommend, there is a book called Feeling Good. I picked it up several years ago for about eight bucks, paperback. it is a cognitive behavioral therapy book, and I couldn't be happier that I got this book! I fall in that financial crack, I make too much money to receive any type of government help for healthcare, but too little to pay for a counselor. I actually bought that book after a tough breakup, and I refer to it quite often. it was written by a psychologist who worked with, in particular, people who were dealing with depression. maybe give it a try first? it is WORK, though; you have to actually do the exercises. but it is a cheaper (much!!) alternative, if it might work for you, to having to pay for a counselor.

[artadolf]

I, too, am going through a breakup and I know how hard it is. For a long time I denied going to counseling. My frame of mind was: "Why do I need to go counseling?! They're not going to fix me. They don't need to hear my problems." Well, before my relationship ended, my ex-girlfriend motivated me to go; I was angry and nervous about the decision. A year later, I'm still seeing my counselor. It's helped me so much.

 

I do recommend going to counseling. As for me, I prefer a female counselor due to the nurturing effect it has on me. You just have to find the right counselor.

 

As for my breakup, I still love her and miss her a lot. She doesn't know what she wants and can be very immature and selfish. But I have hope we'll get another chance someday. Hang in there man. Give counseling a try.

 

I know how you feel.

[rich46]

Sorry to hear you are having a rough time...this break up recovery is a difficult journey, isn't it? We can all relate.

 

I second the recommendation for Feeling Good. 700 pages of wisdom! I am half way through and it does help to give clarity if I am having a bad day.

 

I personally have never been to a counselor, although I did book an appointment a couple of months ago when I was at a low ebb, but I picked up again so decided to cancel. Living in a foreign country, just the knowledge that an English-speaking counselor is available was quite reassuring for me. I think what put me off going was that I didn't want to go over the whole break up again as I felt past that stage, although part of me wishes I had done so as she might have offered some clarity.

 

If you are slumping and feeling scared, then I would suggest that you go...it could be the best decision you will ever make.

 

Take care