mindless14 Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 My ex is arguing for one more custody day a week. We previously had exactly 3.5 days a week. He wants 4 and me 3 now. He says my 4 year old is asking for it because his dad works a lot when he has them. I'm not agreeing because the day he's asking to keep them, he works. I said we can get our 50/50 schedule in writing but that I will also give extra time where his work schedule allows if my son wants to go with him. We've been doing 3.5 and 3.5 for a year now with no issues. Will a judge agree to giving him an extra day, especially since he won't even be home most of it? Link to comment
mhowe Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 I can't see a judge giving him an extra day that he won't even be there for! And what 4 year old asks those questions? Link to comment
JustWishing Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 Once it goes over halftime it switches the Primary Caretaker. For example, if you have the kids 50% and he has them 50% but you are the Primary caretaker. If he gets them more than 50% he will be the primary caretaker. That changes a few things like for example the Primary Caretaker is entitled to claim the kids on their income tax return. He has to pay less child support or if you make more money....You have to pay him child support. It opens up a can of worms.... Link to comment
mhowe Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 Once it goes over halftime it switches the Primary Caretaker. For example, if you have the kids 50% and he has them 50% but you are the Primary caretaker. If he gets them more than 50% he will be the primary caretaker. That changes a few things like for example the Primary Caretaker is entitled to claim the kids on their income tax return. He has to pay less child support or if you make more money....You have to pay him child support. It opens up a can of worms.... Well, it looks like he is trying to do an end run on you! Link to comment
mindless14 Posted June 2, 2015 Author Share Posted June 2, 2015 Well, it looks like he is trying to do an end run on you! I know exactly what he is trying to do and I'm almost positive money is a big motivator. Which is one reason why I will not agree. There is no reason we need to Go more than half and half especially if I'm willing to be flexible according to his work schedule. I just want to know if a judge will agree or will give him more time. Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 I dont think anyone of us can accurately predict what a judge will say. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 Keep it the way it is. A four-year-old can't direct custody issues. Your ex is looking for a tax grab. Link to comment
MisUnderstood9 Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 If he cannot prove why he should get the 4th day, the courts will not change the arrangement you already have. This extra day would make him the primary caregiver. Meaning he has your child 60% and you 40%.. as soon as this happens, you are basically handing over full custody and you will be the one who will need to pay the child support to him, he will get to claim the child on taxes and get all the tax breaks of having the child. My son is 5 years old, there are days he cant even tell you what day it is or what he even did at his dads that day so even if your child is asking to be there more, it won't be able to used in court as an excuse as they wont take a child's word in custody cases until the age of 12.... Keep things 50-50 right now. It is not good to break routine. If its child support he's worried about, see if there's a way that you can lower the amount since you are sharing your child 50-50 and see if that gets him to drop the 4 days a week thing. Link to comment
mindless14 Posted June 2, 2015 Author Share Posted June 2, 2015 Neither of us currently pays child support to the other, and I think that's what he's looking for. All I want is 50/50. We also have a 10 month old, and I don't think it'd be good to chane up his routine. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 I said we can get our 50/50 schedule in writing but that I will also give extra time where his work schedule allows if my son wants to go with him. Just stick to this and keep sounding as upbeat and reasonable about it as possible. If he wants to invest the money in a fight, he'll only prove himself to be foolish, and he'll need to come up with a far far better reason than whatever noises a 4 year old makes when it's transition time. Nobody makes good transitions--that's why 'happy hour' was invented. Stand your ground, but don't get accusatory or adversarial. Play it 'stupid and cheerful' no matter what, and it can spare you a blood battle. Link to comment
mindless14 Posted June 7, 2015 Author Share Posted June 7, 2015 I've been thinking maybe I'll agree to extra day for him, if and only if, he agrees to waive child support and we still hbe joint legal custody, meaning we have exactly equal rights in every decision regarding the kids. He's said he doesn't want support from me, which he shouldn't get, because the reason e doesn't have money is because his gf won't get a job and he supports her and her kids. But I'm just not sure I trust that he won't go to court for child support behind my back. I'm not sure what to do. A court date has been set, but I just want to agree and go in and have our agree mtn signed, I don't want a fight. It's not necessary. Link to comment
mhowe Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 If you want to protect your son, it is necessary. Why would you give him extra time when it will only be spent with his gf and her kids. This appears to be about him being the primary caretaker and lessening the child support. Please wake up. There is a reason he is doing this, and since he will be working, it isn't to spend more time with a child. Link to comment
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