need hope

[kasop]

This is my first post but i feel like typing it all out really makes me feel better. My ex and I met a year ago when we where dating other people. We all would hang out alot through a mutual friend but i never had feelings for her at the time. Both those relationships ended and we ran into each other through months the same mutual friend about 3 months ago. At this time i saw her as someone completely different and realized how amazing she really is. We hooked up and dove straight into a relationship. We are both 24 years old but shes a little imature and has bi-polar. It was like she couldnt stand to not be with me. we would hang out after work every day and spend all our time together. We talked about moving in after a few weeks. She would always tell me she loved me and how she wants to be with me for a long time. well that time ended in less then 2 months. I really thought we shared a strong emotional and psychical attraction. Ive been having some depression issues due to the instability in my life and i beleave the negativity is what drove her away. One morning after she stayed over she was in a bad mood and we started bickering which ended up in a full scale break up. She initiated it first and i was mad so i let her go. she said she felt trapped and wasen't happy anymore. I regreted it right away and called and apologized for everything and wanted to work it out cuz i know im in love with her. she said she needed time and space so i said okay. The next morning she called and apologized and we hung out all day after work like nothing had happened. i was a little distant because i was afraid of bringing it up. the next day she sends me a text at work saying she cant see why we should stay together and it crushed me to a thousand pieces. Everytime i tried to talk to her she would respond with negativity until she wouldnt respond at all. Where did all this resentment come from? im so lost right now. I went into NC for about 10 days and yesterday sent her a hey how are you text. she responded about 3 times back and forth and quit replying. I dont know if i need closure or do i fight for what i love? she was head over heels for me like no other girl ive ever been with and now she wont give me the time of day. i feel like i let her down as she was expecting me to be so much more and she resents me for it. All i want to do is talk to her but i know if i keep trying she will reject me. i can change and be a more positive person for her i swear but i feel like its to late. I wake up thinking about her and i go to sleep thinking about her. When i sleep i dream about her. I really just want it to stop because it hurts.

[Asher]

You mentioned she is Bi-Polar. This is a huge red flag, I'm afraid. I've been there got the T-Shirt and the hat. It's a very serious condition and definitely explains her hot and cold behaviour towards you. Stick to NC. Work on yourself and start to heal. She will almost certainly be back around once this episode is over but you have to seriously ask yourself if you can do this over and over again because being in love with someone with Bi-Polar is an emotional rollercoaster to say the least.

[jennylove]

Is she on medication?

[kasop]

You mentioned she is Bi-Polar. This is a huge red flag, I'm afraid. I've been there got the T-Shirt and the hat. It's a very serious condition and definitely explains her hot and cold behaviour towards you. Stick to NC. Work on yourself and start to heal. She will almost certainly be back around once this episode is over but you have to seriously ask yourself if you can do this over and over again because being in love with someone with Bi-Polar is an emotional rollercoaster to say the least.

 

I feel like i didnt truly understand it at first and have been really researching it latley. You say she will come back after this episode but i cant hang on. how long will it take i feel like shes allready started talking to other guys. I wrote her some text today to see if i could get her to open up and she did. But immediately started ignoring what i was saying. When she does talk to me its typically about her illness. I just try to re insure her that everything will be ok and give her complements. i ended up sending her a long text about how i felt and how i need to move on. I really want to but i cant. I would do anything for her and a second chance even with her condition. ive seen her be happy and i know its possible.

[kasop]

yes she is. she just got switched to something new to idk the names.

[Asher]

Bi-Polar is a complicated and dangerous disease. Medication is available but it's not just popping a pill and that's all there is to it. You need to manage symptoms, dosages, and different combinations of medication. It's basically a like long job of working with your doctor to manage the disease. It's not easy and many people with thew condition go off medication or their current cocktail of drugs stops being effective. Once someone hits a manic episode they can do some really messed up stuff. Everything from having a messiah complex, feeling totally euphoric, wanting to end relationships and go and seek new adventure and a whole lot more. Promiscuity is also a symptom of a manic episode so if she's in one it's not unusual for her to start talking to tons of guys and the like. Once the manic episode ends, they are hit with very serious depression and giving her compliments and trying to be close to her won't cut it. They will usually try and push you away. It's a very difficult disease to deal with not only for the person going through it but as in your case, the person who cares about them because they can act like you are the best thing since sliced break one minute and absolutely hate you the next. It's emotionally taxing on everyone involved.

 

I say there is a good chance she will be back if she is having an episode related to her illness because their moods change like the wind. My ex ex was Bi-Polar II so I know how this usually pans out. You may get a second chance but illness she is super serious about managing her condition on a daily basis then she WILL do this to you again. You really have to think long and hard about whether you can be a part of that. The condition is progressive and gets worse as they get older as well. I don't want to sound like I'm being negative about people with Bi-Polar and I certainly don't judge you for not knowing much about it until something like this happened. It's not a very well understood condition in the general populace. My advice stands, stay NC if all she is going to do is send you hot and cold mixed messages and work on your healing for yourself. Do more research on the condition and when she does talk to you again in a normal manner say that you cannot be a part of her life unless she confronts the condition and manages it properly. I wish you the best dude.

[kasop]

Thank you for the replys. It means a great deal to me. I dont have anyone really to talk to about this cuz noone understands. Whenever someone asks where my gf is and why we broke up i cant even begin to explain. They always say "but i thought she was crazy about you?" i have a deep feeling that she is going to come back. i also have a feeling that she will go for the first guy who will "take care" of her. she doesnt have the best home and desperatlly wants her own place. She doesnt make enough money to tho and i dont make enough to do it for her. anyways im going to stick to NC for real this time. Hopefully she can come out of this and be herself again. Of course then did i really know her? so many unanswered questions. All your input is greatly appreciated.