Sorry to anyone whose read my story I just need an outlet

[sailsup555]

I've posted trying to get opinions when I knew deep down it wasn't working I am going no contact have accepted its over and am really trying but it's so hard for me and I don't know why, I've never felt like this before. Talking about it helps me even though.

 

We met 2 years ago and everything was great for a couple months we talked a lot saw eachother every week then he out of the blue stopped seeing me. He just walked away on the 4th of July barely talked to me and didn't day bye and this was 2 days after he said he could never leave me and he felt like I'm the one he should be with. For the next 4 months he saw me once but continued to talk to me but always said he was busy with work trying to but a house etc ( we live an hr apart he lives with his parents I have an apartment we are both 28) this happened the same time his brother/best friend moved away.

 

Then after 4 months his brother moved back (also lived at home with them) he had a new gf he met while away and she lived a state over. my bf started seeing me all the time again and was more serious having me see all his friends, meet his family, talked about moving in together, saying he never liked anyone as much as me. Things were good but I was always a little nervous he was going to disappear again and he refused to talk About why just saying he didn't want to fight. I just thought he had been going through a rough time.

 

We never really fought, our first fight he got really mad and wanted to leave but I asked him not to saying fights are going to happen it's normal and he said if it had been anyone but me he would have walked away then this is when he said he never liked someone as much as me and it scares him. Two days later his good friend died suddenly and it hit him pretty hard. We still saw eachother but he also started seeing the friends of those who knew his friend that had passed a lot.

 

A couple weeks later his brother broke up with his gf and I felt like he was going to leave me. I'm not sure if I caused it to happen or I just sensed it but a few weeks later we got in a fight where I accused him of only wanting to be with his brother and meet girls and that he didn't want to be with me and next day he broke up with me and kicked me out of his house in a blizzard. He ignored me for a month while he partied with his brother than finally talked to me saying he's strssed and doesn't want to take it out on me and that he needs a couple months to figure out his life but he still likes me he just can't be commited to seeing me every week.

 

We pretty much stopped talking until

This past fall he was very nice apologizing to me saying he didn't treat me right. I figured we were getting back together. He then continued to blow me off multiple times and I am guessing he lied as well. He kept saying he's confused he's a mess but he really likes me. He finally saw me it went ok but I got nervous and felt I drank too much which I really regret I feel like I just confirmed his decision so I apologized. After that he said he can't see us going anywhere since he can't see me every week and that I deserve better. I brought up initial breakup and he said I acted like an idiot and I always apologize when I don't need to and make him think that maybe I'm right and doing somethimg wrong and I need more confidence bc he likes me for me. After that it was just a disaster more of me chasing him and pushing him, him blowing me off, getting in fights. He finally said he doesn't do long term relationships he never has and he doesn't want to answer to anyone or commit to anyone. He said we can be friends and hang out but I have to understand it's just as friends, he proceeded to try to booty call me saying he wants to see me while drinking which I took as more than it was. He replied to me saying if he gives an inch I try to take a mile and he needs space and a break. So now we don't speak again basically I was forced to since he started to ignore me.

 

I am In NC I also started seeing a therapist and I accepted its not working. I just have so many regrets about how I handled it and I still go back and forth between blaming myself and thinking how much of a jerk he is. Usually I get over things easy but this just messed with my mind or I guess I let it. The therapist says I'm grieving and to just shut the door but I still get urges to text. Sorry to anyone whose heard my story/this is so long sometimes I just feel like my emotions get bottled up and explode if I don't deal with them. I'm really trying to move on and stop dwelling...it's a struggle

[sadchick83]

I feel bad for you, but in my opinion he is simply playing you. It is great you recognize this is an issue. You are not to blame for his actions, but you are to blame for sticking around and letting it happen over and over again. Learn to stop blaming yourself. And, know that you will attract bottom feeders if you keep the bar low.

 

It's simply about developing a standard and sticking to it. Once a guy (or girlfriend) treats you like crap, bounce! You leave. You should not answer their calls. Have something to do like your job, or family, or go to the gym that is valuable to you. As soon as someone wastes your time as you describe, get rid of them, don't make excuses for them.

 

When you start to value yourself and your time, I can assure you, not one will ever play you again. Good luck with it and be strong!

[Ms Darcy]

I'm sorry for how you are feeling.

 

I have never heard of a guy disappearing after dating for a for a few months.

 

I think we as women have to be more honest with ourselves when guys are not that into us. When they are not their words and actions don't match.

 

Unfortunately you became the fallback girl ... the one he knows wants him pretty much no matter what. But from what you say, that whole relationship was riddled with signs that he was not seeing a real future with you.

 

The good news is that you can learn from the situation. The only real tragedy would be not to learn and recognize lack of interest in the future.