What is a female friend trying to say?

[wondering731]

I've been friends with someone for a while now. She knows I have some feelings towards her, but originally showed distinterest. We remained friends for several months.

 

Recently she told me she feels alone. I don't know what her dating life is like, but she asked if we could hang out more. When we were texting last week she said "I should know what to do" regarding us hanging out. When I said I guess I should, she replied that I don't understand or predict what she wants. I thought that was implying to date so I said I would try my best to be ready for her. Her response to that was "what if my best isn't good enough". It went back and forth for a bit before it stopped.

 

Over the past week I've been doing a couple of extra things like texting her good morning or trying to see if she wants to go out. The responses to the morning texts are answered at like 9pm and additional responses come half hr later. It used to be a couple of minutes on the norm. She also said twice so far she can't go out because she's busy.

 

I don't know what happened and not sure what to do. Any advice on this ?

[mhowe]

She is bored...and rude. what if your best isn't good enough? Jeesh.

 

I would call this person friend. I would call her selfish and self centered.

[ThatwasThen]

She doesn't want a relationship with you so you shouldn't want a friendship with her. Never take a demotion to be with a girl. If she's not wanting the same thing you want then next her and don't let her treat you like this one is.

 

You can certainly get a better prospect to date and certainly a better friend then what she's shown you she can be.

 

Take the mind frame that "you are the prize" and that any girl should be happy to be with you in the way you want and if she doesn't want you in the romantic sense then she doesn't deserve your friendship. You can be friends with males, hangout, chat, do things together. Females are for more then that or for what she's willing to give you.

 

Go zero contact and get on with finding someone who appreciates you.

[dave_1966]

Check out Corey Wayne on YouTube, you'll find it interesting. You've been friendzoned.

[wondering731]

Check out Corey Wayne on YouTube, you'll find it interesting. You've been friendzoned.

 

I was already in that zone... She seemed to be implying something else and then the next day our position is 10x worse than usual... Thanks for the link

[ParisPaulette]

She's hit a lonely period and is simply looking for someone to boost her ego, but has no intentions of going out with you. If she were interested she'd have jumped at your first offer to hang out and/or take her out. Not let her responses get longer and longer.

 

I'm sorry, you are still friendzoned and have now become a puppet to dangle on a string. And yes, as a woman I have seen that one done and even had women tell me, "Well, I'm not into him, but it's still nice to know I can get a guy to notice me." Ouch, double ouch.

 

Drop her, she's not sincere about anything, just passing time and making sure guys still find her attractive, even the ones she doesn't want.

[ParisPaulette]

And the way to handle that in the future is the direct approach. "Really? Great, I'm asking you out on a date then. Friday at 8:00 p.m. let's go to the movies." If she hems and haws or has an excuse ask again and ask her when exactly she wants to go out. No straight answer, becomes evasive, backpedals, there you have your answer. They are not at all sincere about ending the friendzone, just looking for a bit of an ego boost and some attention.

[poppy1793]

She is toxic and doesn't care about your feelings. The fact that she knew you liked her and still hung out is a bad sign. But then playing with your feelings is a huge red flag. You deserve better, get away from her if you can!

[wondering731]

And the way to handle that in the future is the direct approach. "Really? Great, I'm asking you out on a date then. Friday at 8:00 p.m. let's go to the movies." If she hems and haws or has an excuse ask again and ask her when exactly she wants to go out. No straight answer, becomes evasive, backpedals, there you have your answer. They are not at all sincere about ending the friendzone, just looking for a bit of an ego boost and some attention.

 

So yesterday I asked her on the spot about going to a game with me. She said yes. On the way there though she said this is the saddest part of her life. It hurt even though she came out with me. She seemed to enjoy herself after that though and said she had a good time and was a bit playful at the end. She's coming from a bad place. I don't know if that's an excuse. Still not sure the right way to approach this or to do that at all.

[jimthzz]

Dating is not supposed to be hard. Interested people just flow into a good time. Others do not.

 

Keep looking.

[mhowe]

She is using you as a buffer against being alone. This isn't dating. She isn't expressing interest and fun at being with you...the focus is on herself.