Any tips to overcome everyday anxiety?

[sonicfan287]

I'm sure we've all dealt with anxiety at some point in our lives. I think the thing that annoys me about mine is that its chronic. I used to think I could control it, and yes I certainly can control it, and yet certain instances, usually the same ones will set it off again. I find myself procrastinating doing certain things just because I'm so nervous. The worst part is, I usually don't have a viable or reasonable explanation for being nervous. A lot of my nerves are actually related to talking to people. I have no issues putting my feelings down on paper or online. I'm not avoiding doing work, because when I was in school I'd have no issues with sitting in front of a computer and studying or writing a term paper (okay, maybe I put that off a little bit, but I'd eventually get right to it).

 

Most of the things I get nervous about involve people, which is strange because I'm 26 years old. I have 2 jobs, I went to school for literally most of my life, (12 grades of school, then 7 years of college) so I deal with people on a regular basis, but making phone calls, certain customer service scenarios, interviews and dates are among the things that get me the most stressed. It's maddening because I've succeeded at these things before and yet every time I feel like I'm about to face some unprecedented challenge. 9 times out of 10, once I get into the situation (interview, date etc.) I'm fine but I get so worried that it will be that one time that I screw up (because at certain points I do stumble and appear noticeably nervous) and that's whats causing me so much grief.

 

Don't get me wrong, it could be worse, and it was worse. I used to skip class for no other reason than being afraid of being called on in class or having to face a group presentation or something. I'm well past that and now I always suck it up and do whatever it is I'm nervous about but it's still discouraging that after a few years of combatting this through therapy, medication and close friends that my mind hasn't learned its lesson. It still gets worked up about the same things. In some strange way, just typing this out helps me rationalize my fears as well, so maybe it's just a matter of being more vocal about it, even if it's just online.

 

I was just wondering if anyone else feels this way often and what they do to overcome it (other than medication, which I have tried). Thank you very much for your time

[mhowe]

Victoria66 has a thread called My Toolbox or something like that to address such issues.

 

 

[LoveSoDeep]

It sounds like you just need to work on confidence.

 

The root of this nervousness is fear.....fear of what....well only you know, I guess. Yours has something to do with other's perceptions of you. What I think you need to realize is not everyone will like you....and that's OK. If a call, or an interview or a date doesn't go perfectly....it's not the end of the world you'll have a ton more.

 

I read this article today which i thinkis fitting for you: link removed

[sonicfan287]

Thank you very much for this share.

 

I do find myself guilty of doing some of the things which this article mentions in my expectations of others (whether knowingly or not) and how I carry myself in general. I'll be happy some days and then other days I'll feel like I'm looking up to everyone else and wondering how I can get to where they are, when they may be just as unhappy or nervous as I am. It helps to take a deep breath and realize this, rather than constantly berating ones self. If I've learned anything about emotions the past few years, it's that they are similar to quicksand. The more you fight against it, the harder you sink.

[mandeelove]

Yes I go through this every day in mostly situations as u described. I have social anxiety....Sounds a bit similar to yours. The only way I conquer it or "relieve" it is by having some concrete steps on what Im doing. So be extra prepared with things ,have a plan, follow it. For me, it gives me control because I dont have to worry about what I'll say, etc. When it comes to dating though and lots of unplanned scenarios, u cant have a plan. U have to go with the flow . Building my confidence has helped me. Believe in yourself and also know that anxiety is irrational fears. 9 out of 10 times u go through it and realize u can do it, like every other time! U ask yourself why u were afraid in the first place. So everytime youre in it, remember how u acheived it last time and were silly to believe u couldnt. I know its easier said than done. I suffer daily but hope this helped a little. I remember having a job too answering phones. It got so bad I would wait until a coworker left the room so they wouldnt hear me make my calls. This is not the answer. So i started jotting down words before i made the call to help me remember my train of thought. It helped because my anxiety causes me to go blank . Its all about accomodating. Anxiety is not cured usually but rather contained. I know its very stressful but best of luck !!!

[Purusha]

The brain is a funny thing in that you can't exercise both sides of the brain at once - what you're trying to do by rationalising your emotions is trying to put logic onto something that isn't logical and something that you've decided consciously.

 

The emotional/unconscious side of the brain often works in pictures, it's more sensory and most certainly not logical like the conscious mind. So if you have a trigger that sets off anxiety within you it's the trigger that you need to address and stop that from happening.

 

It's absolutely fear that your brain will have, at some point in your life taken on board the information that talking to people, vocalising your thoughts, feelings, opinions brings about a bad situation that's threatening to you and so you probably learned to avoid these situations or redirect them in some way, and your brain then recognises those situations as circumstances to be afraid of.

 

Its worth thinking about where this might have come from or if this is recognisable to you in some way - therapy in the form of NLP, hynosis etc is more effective much of the time to access this part of the brain to change your reaction as it's not accessible from the conscious mind. This will create a new neural pathway in your mind to give you a different reaction to those circumstances, as what you're experiencing could well be more of a phobic reaction to certain stimuli than generalised panic. Even then, it can most certainly help to deal with generalised panic also.

 

I would recommend looking for a therapist that has a combination of treatments that they can try with you including CBT, NLP, hypnosis, try things out and see what works for you.

 

Just my tuppence with anxiety and phobias as I've experienced this too, the brain is both a weird and wonderful thing! Good luck

[Grace696]

Hi Sonic,

 

I've handled low-level anxiety most of my life - is also mostly about social interactions for me. Here are some things that have helped me:

 

1) CBT therapy. I got some great practical tools from this around identifying the irrational beliefs at the heart of the anxiety. This didn't make it go away completely, but it now has much less sway.

 

2) Regular meditation and mindfulness practice. Meditation has taught me to be able to have some space from, and peace within, the anxiety. There's also a particular mindfulness tool I use a lot called RAIN: link removed

 

3) Exercise.

 

4) Looking after myself generally (little alcohol, not drinking coffee, getting enough sleep, eating well).

[thugkitty]

I wrecked my car on the free way going 80 mph, after that day I've had anxiety of driving on the free way, what I do to over come this is deep breathing techniques and I just push through it!

[globalnomad]

I found this to be a great resource for understanding and dealing with anxiety: link removed Lots of good, free information; and more good information for a pretty reasonable membership fee.

[notafraid]

Exercise, meditation, yoga have helped me a great deal. Also, try to get out into nature, walk in the park, or if you have a lake/ocean nearby, take a walk by the water. I live near the lake and it's amazing how my mood changes once I take a short walk by the water.