Slowly getting back to dates (just looking for some tips maybe)

[melancholic_too]

You can skip over the first couple of paragraphs. It's mostly backstory... So, not sure if anyone remembers me. I think during some conversion some of my posts got deleted, but I digress). My ex and I finally broke up for good on Christmas Day and I have not spoken to him or seen him since, which has actually been tremendously good for my healing and I recommend it to everyone who is struggling (I also apparently got 'custody' of many mutual friends. I instructed them that as long as they don't give me updates about him and the new woman - whom he cheated on me with for 6 months and is still dating as far as I know - we are fine. I don't need updates since that part of my life is over and it just doesn't concern me )

 

In the beginning I did the Tinder thing, had some (safe) fun. I went on a couple of dates but quickly realized I had no interest in dating anyone. Every date was a hassle for me, I wasn't excited to be going at all. So I ended up ditching all OLD sites and have not signed back on since late February.

 

There was one guy from Coffee meets Bagel I had texted with before deleting all my profiles and he recently popped up on my Facebook as "someone you might know" (because his number is in my phone...). I added him and we started talking again. We went on our first coffee meet on Sunday and it went well. Am I hugely attracted to him? I'm not sure. We had a great conversation, talked for 2 hours just sitting by a lake with some coffee. He lives about 1 1/2 hours away but made probably 3/4 of the trip to come see me and I went the remaining 1/4. He wants to see me again on Saturday (his parents live in my city) for dinner and then walking around town. He's 7 years older than I am, which honestly would be the oldest I have ever dated. I do think I'll go, to see how things go, see if the attraction is there or not, which I do think is hard to say after the first meeting.

 

Then there's a guy at my gym. He is closer to my age (1 year older). Him and I (and a friend of mine who also goes there) have gotten to be friends and hang out semi-frequently. I'd say for him I have a slight crush 8-[ We are completely different as he is definitely conservative in his political views, he loves country music and is on the fence about wanting kids but leaning towards yes. I'm a liberal, can handle small amounts of country only and am 99.999% sure I won't be having any children. Last night him and I went to grab some food after the gym (not a date, separate checks, but just the two of us this time. I went and picked him up (he does live in the apartment complex accross the street from mine) and we spent over 2 hours at the restaurant talking about pretty much everything (work, family, exes, growing up, goals, what we are looking for in partners, back to work stories...).

He is a bit of a flirt and southern charm flows through which I won't misread as flirting with ME particularly, but we get on well. He mentioned he'd be careful dating people from the gym (we are a big community and our coach just started to date one of the members and that's how it came up), because he would be worried that if it doesn't work out it will cause unnecessary drama and problems. Which I see his point. Nonetheless, at the end of the evening I felt happy. I couldn't help thinking how it would be to kiss him and just see what comes of this.

We (the three of us) have plans on Sunday to go to the beach. My friend knows about my little crush - because that's what it is. She doesn't feel there's anything wrong with seeing Guy 1 on Saturday although I'm kind of crushing on Guy 2. And I guess she's right. Still, it's all confusing.

 

So, after all this.... any tips? Ideas? It's all new again after being in that toxic relationship for almost 2 years and it's finally starting to feel exciting again instead of just annoying or a hassle. Both guys are down to earth (or seem to be).

[JustWishing]

I think your best bet is to give everything a little time. Assort your feelings for those two and come up with a solution. If you have a gut feeling it is usually right. Whatever the decision, do not string both of them along, since it wouldn't be fair to either one of them. It could come off like you are playing with them and guys do not like that.

 

Age doesn't necessarily matter. If you two get along and have core things in common, that matters more than age.

[melancholic_too]

I think your best bet is to give everything a little time. Assort your feelings for those two and come up with a solution. If you have a gut feeling it is usually right. Whatever the decision, do not string both of them along, since it wouldn't be fair to either one of them. It could come off like you are playing with them and guys do not like that.

 

Age doesn't necessarily matter. If you two get along and have core things in common, that matters more than age.

 

I know what you mean, but I don't believe that after 1 meeting (it wasn't a date yet) you could construe it as stringing anyone along. We have an actual date planned Saturday night and after that I'm sure I'll have a better idea of how I feel about this guy.

 

Again, Guy 2 from the gym hasn't given me any real indication that he's interested, i'm just trying to figure out if I am. ;P We are very different but I don't believe political views are necessarily a dealbreaker either (depending of course how 'intelligent' both people are about it).